The End Is the Beginning
by Zentrodie
Summary: The world has changed and not in a way anybody could have anticipated. Now the survivors have to continue to live in a world they never would have thought they would.
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimer

With only one other 'serious' story up right now and the two joke stories I felt obligated to have another 'serious' one on the Zentrodie name. Been kicking this idea around for awhile in the old noodle and I'm finally going to write it. Just to warn ya though it won't be all roses and sunshine like a lot of my others.

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 1

Waking with a start, a sharp in take of breath that rocked his body, Shinji lurched up in his bed. He felt exhausted, but his body was alight with pent up energy. Grabbing at the back of his head, his vision swam as he took in the room. It was a hospital room, but not the one at Nerv, and it was bathed in the red glow of emergency lighting. It was from the one visit to Touji's sister Mari that allowed the bewildered boy to know anything about his location.

"Where is everybody?" he mouthed as he shakily spun his feet out from under the thin sheet. His back hurt and his limbs were stiff, but that took a backseat to the empty room. Typically somebody would be there when he woke up, usually Rei or Misato. "And why the general hospital, shouldn't I have been transferred?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed for a solid five minutes as his vision came into crisp focus, the boy noticed a change of clothing on a chair next to the bathroom. On unsteady legs, he tottered over and discarded the hospital robe, removed the IV line, and put on his standard white shirt and slacks. Calling out loudly, "I'm awake in here, can somebody open the door?"

He got no answer.

Heading into the bathroom, the boy let loose his overloaded bladder, he caught a look at himself in the mirror. Deep circles under his eyes, Shinji had to wonder just how long he had been sleeping. "At least my being here means we won." A shudder worked down his back as he recalled the events leading up to his blacking out.

It had been another angel attack. A giant form from out in space had been bombing the city making its corrections in aiming. Misato had an insane plan to have the three pilots capture the damn thing. One would hold it, one would disable the AT Field, and the last would kill the bastard. Only it didn't work like that at all.

"Asuka just always has to be the best, even if its not the best time for it," Shinji chuckled as he zipped up his fly. He had been the one to catch the falling bomb, but Asuka had sprinted so far ahead in the wrong direction that she had been delayed in her correction. "And Ayanami…" Shinji's smile feel away at the unfortunate events with the mysterious First Child. "Stupid city," he quipped as he walked to the door separating him from the common area.

Shinji could still hear Misato's frantic calls over the comm. system. Ayanami's unit had hit a weak plate in the cities upper defensive shield. Her foot crushed through several layers of incorrectly meshed steel and had become lodged. So with Asuka half a city away from him, and Ayanami trapped, it left Shinji alone holding the gargantuan creature that had every desire to crush him.

Knowing that if he failed not only would he die, but so would everybody else the boy focused harder than he had ever done before. He had been half aware that Ritsuko had chimed in that he was in danger of overloading the synaptic connections between Unit-01 and his brain. All he saw was that thing's eye looking at him as he held it up. His vision began to cloud and haze over, black encroaching around edge of his sight. Then a white light enveloped him and he fainted.

"It must have blown itself up like the first one did," Shinji reasoned as he tapped on the steel security door. He could see the numeric keypad that was next to the door handle was without power, but that wasn't what surprised him. It was the deep dent in the door and the cracked viewing glass. The doors to the secured medial suites were supposed to be some of the best in design. "Anybody out there?" he called though the broken glass and tried to spy any movement.

There was none.

Pounding on the door futilely, Shinji felt a creeping fear rising in him. Something was wrong here, something was just plain wrong. While he didn't have an ego about it, Shinji knew his safety was something Nerv put a lot of stock in. So where was the guards? Hell where was another person? Putting his face right up against the buckling glass, he eyed the red hazed hallway outside his room. "Hope Mari is alright," he mouthed as he pulled away from the door.

Taking a few steps back from the door, claustrophobia brewing at the notion of being trapped was slowly becoming a fact, the boy spotted a bend in the edge of the door. "If I could…" rushing to the IV stand, Shinji took the gripped it in the middle and rammed the thin metal rod into the space between door and frame. "Just have to hope," he rushed the metal bar and threw his weight against it. For a moment nothing happened, and that fear of dieing alone in the room added the extra oomph he needed.

A jarring screech accompanied the slow prying open of the door. Pulling back and pushing harder and harder, his brow already perspiring, the euphoria of freedom was delicious. With one last mighty push, Shinji forced the door open enough to allow a body to fit through. And one did, a body fell into the room with a meaty wet splat.

Falling over as the bar he was using lost its support and gave way, Shinji tumbled to the ground. Rolling over and sitting up, he rubbed his pounding head, and saw the body of the dead security guard. "Oh my Kami-sama," he whispered as he met eyes with the dead man. He had never seen a dead body before, and this one had its throat torn out and was missing one of its hands and just had a blood stained stump.

Just staring at the body, Shinji would have back peddled but he was to enthralled by it. He had no way of knowing the man had been dead for two weeks, but he was smart enough to notice that the blood was all dried. "What the hell is going on here," he questioned as he crawled to the body. It was cold to the touch, no surprise there, but the man's gun was still in the holster. As guns were such a rarity in Japan, why hadn't the man's murderer taken it? Shinji was at first a little reserved about it, but Misato's words about necessity came to his mind for some reason.

With as little contact to the body as possible, Shinji unbuckled the holster and stole the dead man's gun. As he pulled it out from under the man, the badge on his shirt stated his name had been Koji, the body's head wobbled and turned to the side showing the large open skull. "He was shot in the head!" But with all the other wounds, why go that extra mile and put one in the man's computer?

It didn't matter, not now anyway. He'd ask all the questions he had later in the safety of the Nerv complex. Getting back up, Shinji stepped over the body of the fallen guard and into the hospital proper. He saw the nurses' station, devoid of anybody save a headless body draped over the counter. From the attire and slim frame, he could tell that was a female. The clock on the wall behind the station stated proudly that it was only eleven o'clock in the morning.

"Whatever happened here, I better check on Mari," Shinji despite the extreme drive to find the nearest exit and use it had the larger need to see to the hurt sister of his friend. Had Shinji not been responsible for her being in the hospital he'd have left her, but a feeling of obligation overwhelmed him. Spying the letters on the wall stating he was on the forth floor, and as Mari was on the first it wasn't as if she was out of his way anyway. Strapping the holster around his waist, Shinji made his way to the stairwell and made his way down.

The deep primordial groan that was emitted was over shadowed by the doors heaving squeaking.

X-X

Forcing the door open on the first floor, Shinji had to push yet another dead body out of the way. This had been older man, from what he could tell from the remains. Most of the body had been removed and spread around the floor in a gory painting. Again the blood was all dry, indicating to the boy that it hadn't happened recently. "M-maybe I should just go," his voice cracking and uneven as his survival instinct was screaming at him to run out the front door.

And he could see it now too, a glowing white light of the sun filling the hallway with something other than blood red. But as much as he wanted to, he hadn't seen or heard anything to indicate he was being followed, and maybe Mari was fine. He'd never be able to live with himself if he learned Mari starved to death or something because he was afraid of an empty hospital.

Barefoot, the boy tiptoed down the hall towards Mari's room, his left hand tracing the wall as he went. A rattling to behind him caught his attention, but it was just paper blowing through the broken front door. "Where is Misato…" he asked himself, his want was more for a protective figure, somebody with the answers he wanted and to provide safety. Much akin to asking for his mother. His mind was racing for explanations for what he was seeing. A terrorist attack seemed the most likely, but why the place hadn't been cleaned or him moved didn't get answered by that.

Walking past more incomplete bodies, he counted five additional, Shinji stood outside the slightly ajar door to Mari's room. Opening it the rest of the way with his left hand, his right fearfully gripped at the hilt of the gun. "M-Mari-chan, are you there?" A slight rustling answered his call. "Mari-chan is that you?" he pushed the door open fully and stepped into the room. He was starting to hate that red light, it was to dim to really make anything important out.

Shuffling into the little girl's room, Shinji made his way to her bedside. He noticed the straps around her waist, used to keep her from moving and hurting her spine more than it already had been. "Mari-chan, it's me Shinji, do you remember me?" his voice was lighter, glad to see somebody he knew. His meeting with Mari before had been very sweet she held no ill will and in fact had a slight hero fixation. "Mari?" he asked again as he watched the little girl moving.

Mari's body quivered and rebelled against the strap that held her down. Slowly yet methodical, she jerked up and up trying to break free. The bed rattled as she fought, but she made not understandable sound. Just a deep throaty moan, and her head turned to see Shinji and her mouth opened wide.

"I'll get you out of those straps and into a wheelchair, ok Mari-chan? I think it would be best if we left here," Shinji gushed as he rushed to the girl's bedside. His hands instantly went to the buckle on her waist, but stopped as he noticed the discoloration on her sheet. It was a deep color, and if he was a betting man he'd have thought it was blood. Turning to look at the little girl he saw her mechanically jerking motions. She was trying to bite him. "M-Mari-chan?" his voice had almost lost all its power.

The blood wasn't hers, it had been from the body in the corner that was slowly stirring and shambling to its feet. Mari just continued to capture the flesh so tantalizingly close to her. The empty glassy eyes rolled in her skull, nothing of the happy child Shinji remembered remained. Just the mindless need to feed.

Shinji's hand rested on Mari's chest and stomach and that hauntingly cold feeling from the dead guard came screaming back at him. Mari was cold, to cold to be alive, but she was moving and still lunging at him! "Mari-chan, what are you doing…it's me!" He felt tears working up in the corner of his eyes. Somebody had to be playing a fucking joke on him, and he wasn't laughing. Then the movement from his left caught his attention, "Touji, what the hell is going on here, what is wrong with Mari-chan?"

The tracksuit clad boy didn't answer in words, his arms stretched out forward and in uneven steps lurched towards forward. His mouth open wide and drool and spittle trickled down, his front was covered in his own life's blood that had had poured out from the large bite on his neck. A size that fit Mari's little mouth well, Touji hadn't believed it possible that his sister had turned as the news reports said, and got to close.

Backing away from Touji, Shinji's hand went back to the gun, "Touji please stop joking around and tell me what is going on." His back brushed up against the corner, no further escape route open to him. Touji just kept on shambling towards him, his head tilted at an odd angle showing the frayed muscle and torn flesh. "Oh Kami-sama…" the boy felt his stomach lurch and bile threaten to force its way out.

The being that had once been Touji Suzuhara continued to press forward on Shinji. His arms gripping shoulders and leaning in towards Shinji's neck he leaned in to bite. An arm under his throat kept him away from sinking its teeth into that warm flesh. His jaws opened wider in anticipation of a meal.

Warding off his best friend with one arm, Shinji pleaded for Touji to stop playing around. "Don't make me do this, please just stop!" But Shinji could tell when somebody was playing and when they were being serious. The forced needed to keep Touji from closing those last few inches were monumental. Gripping the gun with his left hand, Shinji fired two shots into Touji's chest. About to drop the gun, Shinji still heard Touji moaning and pressing just as hard as before, the shots had no effect!

Closer and closer to the supple flesh, the thing that used to be Touji's teeth brushed up against the pulsating neck line. A moment later, a bullet laced his skull and he toppled over after bathing Shinji in its blood. Slumping to the ground, the remains of its brain pooled on the ground.

Standing stock still, Shinji just stared off blankly at the wall. "This is all a joke right…a joke." Somebody had just shot Touji! Somebody killed Touji! Touji who was just about ripped his throat out. About to fall to the ground, Shinji felt firm but slim fingers pushing him against the wall and trailing his neck. Tearing his eyes away from the tiny form of Mari who was still biting air in his direction, he came eye to eye with his savior. "What is going on here? Who are you?"

Satisfied that the boy wasn't bitten, the woman put her weapon back in its holster. "Kyoshi Nakamura, used to be a nurse here, as for what is going on, I have an idea. But with all the racket you've been making we have to get out of here. They'll all be coming at us now." Grabbing one of her spare machetes, she handed it to Shinji. "Guns need reloading, knives don't. Aim for the head, it seems to make them stay down." Grabbing arm she started towards the door only to feel the boy resisting. "Boy, we have to hurry." This had been a big bust for her, she had come to get the pilot boy and barter her way into Nerv, but his room was open already.

"I can't leave her like this," Shinji choked back tears and aimed at the Mari thing. "I was going to save her, take her with me out of here." Taking a fugitive step closer to her, Shinji covered his mouth with his arm to keep the sob from escaping. As he aimed, he felt the woman push his arm down. "What?"

Shaking her head, "We can't risk the noise, we have to be quiet." Pulling a tire iron from her belt, "I'll deal with her, you just get yourself collected and ready." With a sudden lunge, Kyoshi impaled the miserable thing's skull and put it out of its misery. "God damn you things," Kyoshi murmured through gritted teeth. Pulling the gore covered rod out of the child's head, she put it back where she stored it. "You ready kid?"

Having only heard what Kyoshi did, Shinji couldn't watch her do it. Nodding fiercely, "Lets get out of here, I-I'm Shinji Ikari by the way." Shinji followed his sudden savior down the halls of the hospital towards the glowing light. Faint but growing sounds were emerging all around him, shuffling and moaning sounds. "What is going on here?"

"Be quiet until we get outside!" Kyoshi hissed. But what a stroke of luck! Her ticket to safety was still alive and she had gotten to him first! She had seen the name on the clip boards around the hospital after he had been brought in, but she never actually saw the boy. Her job was to deal with the elderly on the second floor, not the VIP's up on four. "They'll hear you and I don't think we have enough bullets for all the bastards here."

As the pair moved, Shinji had to fight hard to keep his lips from acting. So many things he wanted to ask, to have explained. This woman told him to be quiet though, and with the remains of his friend dripping down his face, Shinji found more than enough things to think about to keep him silent. As the duo approached the door, two more bodies emerged from the kiosk by the entrance. A doctor and an elderly woman, the doctor appeared fine, save for a large gash on his chest, and the woman appeared perfectly fine except for the unsteady walk and outstretched hand.

"Fuck, take the one on the left, I'll get the right," Kyoshi ordered as she pulled out the tire iron again. "They're slow as hell, but if they bunch up on us we'll be dead before you know it." They were to close together for her to attack one without the other grabbing her from behind, and her munitions were running low so she didn't want to shoot them. "GO now!"

Jumping at the woman's command, Shinji lunged at the elderly woman with the knife he had been given. Letting out a strangled rage filled cry, Shinji buried the knife between the woman's eyes with both hands as she blindly grabbed at him. He could hear Kyoshi doing the same. His breath was coming in and out in large puffs, his arms ached as he tugged to free the large blade, then Kyoshi stepped down on the woman's neck to keep the head from moving and he was successful.

With her hand wrapped around his wrist pulling him, Shinji stepped foot out into the city and into the glorious light of day. Cars were lined up all around the entrance of the hospital, bumper to bumper, some had those things in them futilely clawing at the windows, but most were empty. "What is going on here, can you tell me now?" he asked as Kyoshi started walking along the line of abandoned autos.

Wiping the remains off her weapon, the one-time nurse sighed as she continued to walk. "I'm not entirely sure. Just about three of four weeks ago, just after the last of those things came, we had a rash of violent crimes. At first it was just here in Tokyo-3, but then we start getting reports that its world wide. Before you know it we get these crazy people being admitted to the hospital with bites and claw marks." Kyoshi's head dipped down, her husband had been one of the people bitten, and by their neighbors child no less. "Things go crazy from there, people saying it's the dead rising from the grave, others think that whatever it was that attacked us is responsible."

"What about Nerv, is Nerv doing anything about this?" Shinji balked at what he was hearing. Just how long had he been sleeping!? From what this woman, a rather striking close cropped red hair and radiant emerald green eyes he noticed, was saying it had been for about a month! Why hadn't he been moved in that time, but if it happened as fast as Kyoshi said, maybe they didn't have time. "Where are we going?"

An angry tick, her eyebrow scrunched up as the boy kept talking. It wasn't his fault he didn't know, and that was why she hadn't exploded in rage by now, but it was hard for her to keep thinking about this. "Nerv has done nothing but hole up in that little fortress of theirs and deny anybody else admittance that isn't personal, and that includes family. But with you, I'm hoping to barter a deal and get in." The bastards had been using that red monstrosity of theirs to occasionally clear out the front gates of the things, so a pilot should still have some weight at the negotiating table. "So that is where we are headed."

Catching the subtle hints that this woman wasn't in the talking mood, his time with Asuka and Misato giving him privy into the female mind, Shinji sagely kept his mouth shut. He just observed the dilapidated state the once mighty Tokyo-3 had been reduced to in such a short time. A sea of unused and stalled cars littered the roadway, several small groups of 'people' banged on boarded up doorways and store fronts, to fixated on whatever they were doing to pay mind to the silent pair.

It was agonizingly slow movement, but Kyoshi was pleasantly surprised that the boy, Shinji, had shut up. It wasn't that she faulted him or anything, but it was just hard having lost her husband, and then get denied access to a safe haven from the people her tax dollars supported. "Sorry I was so rough on ya back there, kid. Just a lot on my mind, not to say you don't have more." She had heard he'd been in a coma since he was brought in, it had originally been her idea to bring the sleeping body to Nerv's gate and demand to be let in. With him awake it would be easier, and he could fight if he had to, a good sign indeed.

Offering a half hearted smile, Shinji replied, "My flatmates taught me well when to talk and when to keep my mouth shut." Asuka would slap him if he pressed when he shouldn't, and Misato's teasing would turn from light hearted to cruel. Shinji was a fast learner to say the least. "These people…are they dead?"

Grateful that Shinji was more mannered than the typical annoying teenager, Kyoshi sent off a mental thank you to the aforementioned flatmates. "Its getting late and we still have a few miles to cover. We best find a place to stay for the night. Being out after dark is a death warrant with these things around. And, Shinji, I don't know if they are dead or not. All I know is that they're not what they used to be and that's all that matters to me." Her husband had nearly torn her head off, and the loving and caring man she married would never have done that.

More tired than he thought possible, Shinji simply nodded and followed along with her. They had to dispatch three more of the things as they moved, one a boy his own age and two men in business suits. The boy Shinji took out personally as it came at Kyoshi from behind. "What about there?" Shinji asked pointing to an apartment building with nothing in front of it.

"Good idea, we can get a unit on the second floor and barricade the door. That keeps the windows clean and only one possible entrance," Kyoshi admitted. Shinji was defiantly pulling his weight, the save from before and the idea about the apartment. As they neared it though, something was starting to make Kyoshi nervous. Why were none of the things here, and the building had a fortified look to it. A gunshot rang out to answer her fears.

"Stop right there and put your hands where I can see them!" a thick and heavy voice called out from inside the building. "I've a bead on you woman so if you try anything I'll blow your head off before you can blink." Another shot fired at Kyoshi's feet came from the doorway.

Whispering to Shinji, "Do as he says, but if it looks bad take him out while he's not looking." This hadn't been the first time the evil nature behind mankind had shown its true face to Kyoshi in the last few weeks. Mostly it was people wanting her gun or food, but two men wanted her for something else. With no other means of entertainment or stress relief, men wanted women and they had no qualms about taking them. With no law enforcement it wasn't like they had to worry about being fined or jailed.

Stepping out from behind the steel enforced door, the brute of a man emerged with a rifle trained on Kyoshi's head. "What do we have here?" he asked as he took sidelong glances to make sure the woman and kid were truly alone and not simply bait. "Tasty crumpet and…holy shit!" The man slapped his balding head, his large belly jiggled as he laughed. "It's the fucking missing pilot brat!" Several of the people who mistakenly came to this apartment had mentioned they were looking for Shinji and even had photos from the newspaper of him. The men he either killed if they sought entry, and the women he tried to capture but ended up either killing or they escaped. It was a dog eat dog world now, and he wasn't about to be supper.

"People are looking for me?" Shinji asked despite himself. He had wanted to be quiet and let Kyoshi take control of things as she appeared more than capable of, but his hope for a Nerv rescue were to great. A stern stare from the woman in jeans and a tight fitting blue t-shirt silenced further questions.

Pulling a revolver out with his right hand, the man shouldered the rifle. "Yeah a bunch of other outcasts had your face on an old newspaper article. Bet they're hoping to use you like this broad is." The gun danced a little but never left Kyoshi's head. "Get into that damn compound of theirs and all the safety it has to offer." Hell, he'd like to get in too, but with all the ammo he had, the food from the other buildings, and maybe a woman he'd be just fine where he was. "Tell you what, you two come in here, maybe I'll help you get there."

"No deal," Kyoshi said instantly. She could see the way he was eye humping her. Going into that building with that man had to high a price, and she wasn't going to pay it. "We'll find someplace else. Let's go Shinji, while we still have light." Turning around with her arms still up, Kyoshi feared but expected what happened next. Another gun blast thundered through the unusually still air of the city.

The barrel of the gun had a faint trace of smoke, but Tetsuo paid it no mind. "Sorry lady, this wasn't an offer. It was a demand." Sure it would have been nicer if she had done this willingly, but with the right drugs it wouldn't matter. His body ached since the city went straight to hell. He had often frequented the red-light, but with that no longer an option, and with his whole family dead, he was quite literally insane. "Now come inside or I'll kill the kid and give you no reason to go anywhere else," he turned to gun on Shinji and offered an apologetic shoulder shrug.

Her knuckles turned white with the pressure she was squeezing them. "What promise do I have you won't kill him after we go in anyway?" From the unsteady dialogue and nervous tick of his hand, Kyoshi wisely saw the signs the man wasn't playing with a full deck. Too much stress and fear pushed him over the edge. All he wanted now, she guessed, was food, sex, and silence. Her hand slowly moved down towards her gun, while the other the zipper of her jeans. "You want this right, but you don't want him because you're afraid you'll have to share."

Acting precisely as she expected, the broken man turned to face her and forgot about the boy. What threat was a boy anyway, he'd take the woman inside his room and lock the fucker out. "Good girl, now you come with ol' Tetsuo and we can survive thi…" A sudden blow to the back of his head sent him sprawling to the ground. Blinding white pain and disorientation rocked his senses as he rolled on the ground. "Fucking kid, I'll fucking kill you!"

"You're just as bad as they are," Kyoshi said as she fired a single shot into the man's head. Better to put him down now less he sucker anybody else into his place. Taking the man's gun and shouldering his rifle, she found his room key in his pocket. "Let's go Shinji, room 214 was this sad things place. We'll stay there until tomorrow." She hoped she didn't find anybody else in his place, dealing with a rape victim wasn't what she wanted. Just a nice long sleep, one she could have knowing full well somebody had her back for the night.

Not saying a word, Shinji was too shocked at how easy this woman killed the man. While he wasn't going to say he was happy something had been done, killing the man was far from what Shinji expected. The man would have likely killed him, Shinji realized, and based on the dead man's erection, Kyoshi wouldn't have faired better. Following Kyoshi though the maze of shopping carts and other makeshift barricades the pair made it to the man's unit and unlocked it.

It was what Kyoshi suspected of a single man's apartment. It had posters of half naked women, a large television, and a general unkempt air about it. No matter, it wasn't like they were going to stay long. "See what food he had, we'll need to take some with us." She hadn't had a good meal in days, and this mans death was going to wreak havoc on her mind for a long time. "Then we'll sleep in shifts. I don't trust this place nearly as much as he did."

Nodding dumbly, Shinji did as he was told. He found a gas powered mini stove and a lot of canned meals. Cooking some soup, he prepared it for Kyoshi and himself. The pair ate in silence, Shinji doing his best not to look at the woman still covered in the blood of the dead man.

"Look Shinji," Kyoshi said finally unable to take the silence she had come to hate, "I had no choice. If I had tied him up or something he'd just have been eaten by those things. Or he'd have broken in here, killed you, and raped me. Is that what you want?" She knew she had other options, but at the time instinct took over and she did what she had to. The food, while good, didn't really sooth her any more.

Swallowing the last of his food, his aching feet reminded him that he needed to find shoes soon. "I know, I just wasn't expecting it. I mean…until today I haven't seen a dead body and now I'm seeing a lot of them, and I saw you kill that man." He agreed with her, but it was still a bitter pill. "Did you want to take first watch or did you want me to?"

"You take first watch, likely you're more tired than I am," Kyoshi ruffled his hair and gathered the plates. Had she not had lost her baby during the birth she'd have been this kids age. "I think the bedroom is down the hall by the bathroom, just be careful." She doubted the man trapped his own building, but she wasn't going to take chances.

No traps greeted Shinji, just the musky smell of stale semen from the man's abuse of porn magazines and wads of toilet paper. Brushing the magazines to the ground, Shinji had absolutely no need for them at the moment. Lying on the bed, a nice yet cold water bed, Shinji fell into an uneasy sleep almost the moment his head hit the pillow.

X-X

His shift watching the apartment was uneventful if only a little unsettling. Everything was just so quiet. The city was never quiet, cars, alarms, and night workers were always heard before. Not now though. It was total silence only broken by the rare gunshot or moan. Kyoshi slept right where he had, the pretty woman, Misato's age if he had to guess, was a lot stronger than he was. He had just acted on instinct up till this point, or doing what she told him to. And while he accepted the fact it was only to save her own skin, he wasn't going to fault her for that since he was using her for exactly the same.

Breakfast had been a rather bland cereal eaten dry with tea made using the same stove he used to cook supper. Kyoshi drank it down, clearly not a morning person, but Shinji was well versed in handling that. "So you think we'll make it to the main entrance today?" he asked as he sorted through Tetsuo's stock of food for usable supplies.

Rotating her shoulder, sore from excessive use, Kyoshi nodded. "When I went two weeks ago, before things got really bad, that was where everybody was congregating." The other entrances were likely sealed completely to make the place even easier to defend. "I hope you have some sort of ID on you or something. I bet the whole 'I have a pilot with me' bit has been played before." Last thing she wanted was to get to the door and have the guards shoot both of them for trying to pull a fast one. She'd seen the Nerv security kill two people that tried rushing the gate.

Feeling for his wallet, he pulled it out, "Yeah I have my entry card on me." Filling a knapsack he found in Tetsuo's bedroom with breakfast bars, canned food, and bottles of water, Shinji was never so appreciative for canned amenities. "Do you think we'll have to…" he trailed off as a random shot pierced the air.

"Kill more of them? Most likely," Kyoshi checked her sidearm and the pilfered ones from the fallen man. Not a lot of rounds left for her gun, but the man had plenty of rounds for his. "Take a pair of his shoes and stuff them with socks. That way they won't fall off and you won't have to worry about cutting your feet." Once a nurse always a nurse, even if she spent more time killing now than saving lives. Pulling the door brace away, she slid the strap of the rifle over her shoulder. "I didn't hear many last night, likely he kept the building on lock down so we should be clear till we hit the street."

It was, and the pair made it back to the road without any unexpected happenings. Walking slightly slower thanks to the larger shoes, Shinji did his best to keep pace. Taking stock of the destruction around him, he couldn't help but say, "Doesn't take long for things to fall apart does it?" Maybe a month of panic and the city was already in shambles.

"Take away their sense of protection, entertainment, and easy life and mankind turns on itself almost instantly," Kyoshi said with disgust. She had seen neighbors turn on neighbors for food stock. One woman gave her daughter to a group of men to save her own skin and a two-liter bottle of water. People were just animals that lied to themselves is what Kyoshi believed now. But she was going to live through this, she wasn't going to just roll over and die. "Remember to keep quiet, and try to avoid drawing any attention. That goes for those things and other people."

After the encounter with the man the day before, Shinji wasn't going to do anything unless he recognized the people first. "I'll try my best." Mile after mile the pair walked in silence, several times Kyoshi asked Shinji for directions and he replied to the best of his memory. Stopping for lunch the pair broke into a gas station and barred the doors with shelves. "This place has been picked clean," Shinji mentioned.

Taking the bag off Shinji's back, Kyoshi shrugged. "I wouldn't doubt a lot of places have already been hit by roaming bands of bandits." It wasn't a bad idea, safety in numbers, but Kyoshi doubted it was the safest place. With Shinji she had a chance at the best shot she could hope for. Breaking into a cereal bar, "So tell me something about yourself kid? The public doesn't get to hear much about Nerv or its pilots." To her, this boy was far too soft to be the hardened warrior that Nerv portrayed him as.

Unscrewing the top to a bottle of water, Shinji took a big gulp. "Not much to say really. I was living with relatives up until my father sent for me several months ago to pilot for him. I do a lot of tests to make sure I'm getting better at it, and I live with my commanding officer and another pilot." When he said it like that, Shinji had to admit his life sounded really boring. "I have a few friends, but I don't really…you know like hanging out with people that much."

A short burst of a laugh later, Kyoshi took a big bite of her food. "No offence kid, but from how the PR people at Nerv paint you I was expecting you to try and fuck me in my sleep last night and to go off guns blazing at these things." It was a very pleasant surprise that the idiots that tried to make this boy seem likable were idiots. Catching the deep blush on the kids face after her statement, Kyoshi started laughing even harder. It was rare to see innocence, especially after everything that had happened. _It's only a matter of time till he loses that though. _In the new world, Kyoshi doubted Shinji would be the same wide eyed child for long, and that fact made her stop laughing.

Trying to get past the idea of having sex with the pretty woman, let alone against her will while she slept, Shinji chugged the rest of his water. "What about you Kyoshi-san? Have you always been a saver of teenagers, and fighter of the insane?" He tried to be funny, to make her like him just a little bit more, but even to himself it sounded forced. "Have you-you lost anybody in all of this?" The building anxiety in him wanted to remind him that Nerv was highly protected so his mock-family should be safe, but until he saw them he couldn't stop his mind from wandering.

Popping the last of the bar into her mouth, Kyoshi thought it was too sweet of flavor for her to ever like. "My husband. He was bitten on the leg by one of those things." She didn't have the heart to say it was a young girl. "I treated it as best I could, dressed the wound, and we went to sleep." Looking out the window, she saw the scene as clearly now as she did back when it happened. "Next morning I wake up to see my husband of seven years inhumanly pale, with those damn lifeless eyes, and he fell on me." She sniffed hard, "I pushed him off, barely, and he hit his head on a dresser corner hard and that's that." Laughing weakly she continued, "Until that point I was just a nurse who had aspirations of being a writer. I sucked at it, but I had fun and he used to say that's what mattered."

Shinji didn't say anything after that, he could see the pained expression and was sure if he pushed it would only make matters worse. He didn't want to hear more anyway. After another twenty minutes of idly eating and drinking the pair got ready for the remaining trek to the main entrance to Nerv and hopeful safety.

X-X

Author Notes

Yeah you know what to expect from this one. Its not going to be friendly, its not going to be fully of happy fluffy moments, but I can't write that all the time. I like challenging myself a little and trying to be more 'serious' in a story. Hope you enjoy it and don't get to offended when the occasional death pops up.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie (zentrodie-dot-geo-at-yahoo-dot-com)


	2. Chapter 2

Standard Disclaimer

Wanted to get the second chapter of this out just to prove that it's not going to sit and die unupdated. Currently planning the last few chapters of Understanding and the next What We. Other than that just enjoying the summer while it lasts and swimming as much as I can, other people not withstanding.

X-X

The End Is the Beginning

Chapter – 2

Of course the weather had to be freakishly hot for the pair as they walked mile after mile across the sun bleached streets of Tokyo-3. Shinji's white shirt was nearly translucent with sweat, and Kyoshi's top clung to her body like a second skin, but with the water from the apartment the pair weren't in danger of dehydration just horribly irritated. As they neared their destination however, the streets were becoming less and less vacant. The number of both things and human was increasing.

Checking the clip, only eight rounds in it and then her personal gun would be worthless, Kyoshi slammed it back into the gun. "So you have a girlfriend, Shinji?" she asked trying to get to know the boy who was now vital to her survival. Not only did she need him to get into Nerv, but with the road thicker with those damn things she'd have died many times now without him. "Or did you have one before all this started," she corrected.

Peaking around a corner, down an alley, Shinji saw three of the things dining on an unfortunate. They didn't care about the other living nearby while they were eating, so Shinji's hand left the holster. "No, not really. I'm not that popular with girls. And with my piloting and all I don't have a lot of time for things like that." It wasn't entirely true, but it was the lie he told himself to make peace with his loneliness.

Coming to a stop, the first real stop they had since eating, Kyoshi balked at what she just heard. "You, the hero of Tokyo-3, aren't popular with girls?" The more she heard this boy talk, the more she thought he was lying to her. The papers ran periodic stories on the pilots, but they paid a little more attention to the pilot of the purple thing. The purple machine had been seen the most, and saved the city the most, so it was only natural the populace liked it more. In those stories, they constantly painted its pilot as a towering pinnacle of military training and bravery. _Fuckers have been telling us bullshit all along haven't they? _

Bending over, hands on his knees, Shinji was enjoying the break in pace. "Not really. I mean some girls try talking to me on occasion, but they just see me as the pilot. And I…I don't like thinking about that so it makes things awkward." Whenever a girl would gush about how cool the Evangelion's were, it told Shinji one thing 'you're not of any value unless you're piloting'. A buzz kill to say the least. "And once Asuka got here, well she likes to say that I'm a pervert a lot and I think that turns people away."

Kyoshi's eyes widened a little and her head tilted back slightly. "Asuka huh? For somebody that is awfully polite, to have you call her by her first name must mean something." Patting Shinji on the back, more to get him up and moving again, Kyoshi was genuinely starting to like the boy. He wasn't useless as she initially thought he'd be, and she found his lack of self-esteem and obliviousness to his status as 'savior' a perk. "You got a crush on her or something?" she teased as they came to a crossroad. Hiding behind a car she scanned the roads.

Crouching next to the ruby haired woman, Shinji parroted her actions, only he kept low to the ground while she took the upper. The creatures could be only an upper body and crawling along the ground they discovered almost to Shinji's demise before, so he went low as she went high. "I-I wouldn't say a crush. Asuka is a foreigner and all so I don't want to offend her." But just thinking about that fiery mane with its odd streaks of lighter orange made his heart flutter even now. "Anyway, even if I did, it's not like she'd ever reciprocate. She's not the nicest person to me most of the time."

"Some girls like to play coy," Kyoshi heard enough regret in Shinji's voice to paint the rest of the picture herself. About to give the all clear sigh, Kyoshi's hand stalled when she saw a woman walking down the street. "Shinji, twelve o'clock, get behind her." It was the standard drill when it came to people. Kyoshi would act as the point man, and Shinji the surprise attack if needed. He was smaller and could move quicker under the cars than she could and get into position well before her.

Without a word, Shinji got to his knees and scampered off. This little act had been played twice before, and each time thankfully had the same result. Kyoshi talked to the men, they said they were hoping to find the either food or safety, and when Kyoshi said she was headed to Nerv they laughed. Then either the man would ask Kyoshi to go with him, or they just parted ways. Kyoshi had told him to stay out of sight unless needed. If anybody knew that the Pilot was with her, things might have gotten messier. _I just hope this goes like those other times. _But something deep in him told him not to be slow. Getting into the same lane as the woman, Shinji crawled under a car and aimed at the center of mass. _Target the center, pull the switch._

"Hello! Is anybody out there! Please I need help!" the woman cried out as she staggered on bruised and pained legs. Her lime green slacks were in tatters her flannel vest had two large slashes, but no visible blood. "Can anybody hear me?" she yelled again while frantically scanning the sides of the road for any sign of movement.

Calling out before moving, less she get a bullet in the brain for scaring, "I hear you, and I'm behind the crashed car at the corner!" Standing up with her hands above her head, a sign of friendship, Kyoshi locked gazes with this new woman. "If you keep making all that noise, you'll call those things down on us, so I recommend you keep quiet." Silence was golden, now more than ever, Kyoshi had come to learn. Hence Shinji and her discussions were always in whispers.

"Oh thank Kami-sama," the woman gushed as she clasped her hands together and shook her head full of long brown hair. "I thought I was going to die alone out here after my group got separated." She didn't move towards Kyoshi, remaining in the open and center of the street. "Can you come here? I-I don't trust the buildings after what happened before."

Making her way though the maze of broken and derelict cars, Kyoshi kept her hands up. "I don't blame you those things can come out of nowhere. So where are you headed?" Looking for anything threatening, she couldn't see anything on the woman that would warrant fear. All Kyoshi could see was that the woman was slightly overweight, short, hair that was just begging for something to grab it, and a timid fearful look about her. "I'm heading towards Nerv myself. Thinking I might get them to let me in since I'm a nurse. People need nurses."

Barely hearing the conversation, Shinji couldn't keep the uneasiness at bay. Something just screamed 'wrong' about the woman, but he couldn't tell why. Kyoshi was near her now, but not close to being hit if his bullet went wild, a good sign. But could he shoot if he had too? This was human, not one of those things. Watching the woman so intently that the rest of the world faded, he wasn't going to miss anything.

"I heard one of the shelters didn't get locked down like the others, I'm headed there," the woman confessed. "But I don't know how to get to Shelter B304, do you know the way by chance?" Following Kyoshi's every moment with a well trained mock disinterest, the woman locked on to the loaded satchel draped over the woman's back.

Having spent time in that particular shelter before, Kyoshi made a silent 'o' with her lips and walked a few steps down the road towards it. "All you have to do is head down this street, take a turn at the third light and…"

BANG!!

BANG!!

The duel gun reports made Kyoshi's heart lurch in her chest, she felt nothing, didn't breath, didn't move. As the seconds passed, long and agonizingly, she didn't crumble to the ground. Her hands slowly went to her body and felt for wetness, but found none. Turning around quickly she saw the woman laying dead at the ground and Shinji running up to her. "What the hell just happened?"

Kicking the revolver from the dead woman's hand, a visibly shaken Shinji just shook his head for a few moments. Tears stinging at his face, but unshed, he caught his breath. "When you turned your back on her…from behind her flannel vest…gun…aimed at your head…I killed her…she fired wild as she fell. Oh Kami-sama I killed a person." Falling to his knees, Shinji couldn't believe how quickly he acted or the fact that he was now in fact a murderer.

Kneeling down by the body, Kyoshi grabbed the gun Shinji had removed from the fallen woman's hand. "I should have questioned why she had such a heavy vest on in this heat. It was to mask the outline of the gun. She was going to kill me for our bag." She jostled the satchel as she spoke. "Thanks, kid, I really owe you for this one. I fucked up big time." Giving him a brief and light hug, "We need to move, those shots will have every one of those things in a five mile radius coming in on us, and we're so close now." A strangled groan evident that time was a fleeting thing at the moment.

Saying noting, Shinji got up and followed at the standard pace, his mind couldn't grasp how easy it was to take a life. Kyoshi had grabbed the woman's gun, taken from the JSSDF officer she stabbed days before, and was moving just slightly ahead of him. "How did you know to look for me?" Shinji suddenly asked as the main entrance to Nerv came into view less than two miles away.

Shocked at the sudden zest for questions, Kyoshi took it as a coping mechanism. Lord knew she needed one for all the lives she took, and hers was to picture her husband, big forgivable lug, holding her and telling her she had no other choice. "It was a rumor actually. Some of the other survivors said 'if we can find that pilot that is in a coma maybe we can use him to get in', and I remembered seeing your name on the list of patients at the hospital. I took a chance."

Made sense to him, and made him less worried about the real nature behind the pretty face. With the gun weighing more on his side now than ever before, Shinji kept quiet for the rest of the walk towards the fenced entrance topped with razor wire a new addition. As they closed in on the guard post, two men walking out with rifles drawn, Shinji couldn't help but notice the large blood stained road. Lots of people died here, lots of things too…and it looked like an Eva had smashed them into paste.

X-X

"Major another call for you from the front gates, somebody claiming to have the Third Child with them," Keiichi, a second level security guard turned bridge defense, said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. This was the forth case of the emergence of the Third Child this week alone, and everybody could see how Misato took it. "Did you want to handle it?"

With Fuyutsuki off inspecting the crew selected to be the raiding party, Misato was left as command on the bridge. "What proof do they have this time?" Misato groaned. Things were steadfast getting worse by the day. Misato was tired, and it wasn't they type of fatigue a night sleep would fix. _Kaji's going to be happy to see me tonight._ Misato wasn't necessarily proud of how she spent her nights now, but then again it was a relief that seldom few had now.

Asking the question over the two way radio, Keiichi closed his eyes and winced. It wasn't going to be good this time. Typically it was just some woman trying to save her kid and herself by lying to get in with no real evidence. The bad ones were the ones with a badge or wallet, because one day it would be genuine and it would crush Misato to know Shinji was truly dead. "They have an access badge, and the boy claims he lives with you," Keiichi wasn't happy with his promotion. But at least by taking the extra responsibility he was given the rarely handed out option to let somebody else into the base. His wife never thanked him as much as she did that day.

Spotting Ritsuko talking to Maya and Shigeru, Misato's shoulders sunk. "I'm going to give the order to kill them myself. Do people expect that Nerv has unlimited resources and that everybody should get in?" She asked aloud as she headed for the door. "Tell them I'm on my way, but if they give them any gruff to just add them to the pile." Closing the door behind her, Misato felt sick. Sick of what she had become, what fate had thrust on her. "Damn you Ikari, taking the fucking easy way out."

Being in command, well second in command after Kozo, Misato had a lot of tough choices to make. Before it was sending children off to fight and maybe die, hard enough choices. But now she was tasked with the life and death of a whole city! Tens of thousands came in the first few weeks, all turned away except for those who worked for Nerv. A very rare exception was made for key staff, to keep moral high, but for the most part wives, husbands, sons, and daughters were turned away to fend for themselves.

As time passed people got the hint they weren't going to get in, that and a wave of things came in and took care of a lot of them. Then came those who tried to hard ball to get in, Misato had to give the order to kill those types of people. Nerv had food and water, but limited space and power. They were at max capacity already, but people just had to keep pushing and trying. Better to end their misery swiftly than let them starve or get eaten. But with each death, Misato died more inside.

Then there was Asuka and Shinji. Her orders put Asuka in a state of depression so deep it made Shinji look like the poster child for joy. And her beloved surrogate child was most likely dead because she didn't act fast enough. She didn't believe the 'impossible rumors' and bullshit she was hearing and wanted Shinji to take it easy at the hospital he was at. And the hospitals were the first to be hit hard by the fucking things, seeing how most were brought in by family members for care.

"And these assholes are trying to be you, Shinji, just to save themselves," she moaned as she pounded her fist on the door leading to the next two people she'd be responsible for killing either directly or indirectly. Punching in her security code, Misato wasn't looking forward to this little meeting. Walking through the door as it glided open Misato called out, "Who is this person that claims to have the Third Child with them?" She spotted the back of the boy's head, right color hair at least but it could be dyed.

The guard that approached spoke, a small timid looking woman, never took her weapon off the red head. "These are them ma'am. They came in about an hour ago, boy had this on him," the blonde said as she handed Misato a wallet and ID card. "He said he lived with you, and the Second Child." Having never seen any of the pilots in the flesh, the guards couldn't tell one boy apart from any of the others that showed up. Added to that the number of superb looking fake ID's that had come in over the last few days, nothing was left to chance.

"M-Misato-san is that you? Why are we being treated like this?" Shinji called out as he heard Misato's voice. He had expected things to go better after finally getting to Nerv, not being held at gun point and questioned about lying. Kyoshi hadn't said anything other than she was a nurse and how they got there. "It's me!"

Her hand dropped lifelessly to her side, the wallet and ID clattering to the steel walkway. It was his voice, dear God it was his voice! "S-Shinji?" Misato asked almost fearful of hearing the boy speak again and prove that it was all in her head. Shinji had to have been dead! The Tokyo-3 General hospital was hardest hit and completely overrun! Being the center point for relief efforts, it had been widely documented that everybody in it was dead. That had been the last news report Misato heard before throwing the remote through the screen. Rushing to the boy, she flung him around and pressed him against the wall.

His eyes glistening, Shinji had never been so happy to see somebody in his life. "Misato-san," he cooed out like a child calling for his mother after a bad dream. It was her, he was really at Nerv and if nothing else Misato was safe. Before he could say anything else, he found himself being crushed in a patent pending Misato bear hug. His arms were clutching at the woman afraid she'd vanish from sight. The weight of the last day came crushing down on him as he held her.

_He's alive! He's ALIVE! _Her mind repeated over and over as she weaved from side to side with him incapable of escaping. She was so sure she had caused his death in not transferring him as she should have. But with the craziness on the streets, she thought to keep him safe at the general hospital, a decision she had regretted everyday. But now, now she had him back. "I thought you were dead. They said nobody survived the outbreak." Her hand went up and ran through Shinji's hair. Several non-discrete coughs brought the reunited faux mother and child out of their revelry.

"Major, is it safe to assume that this is the Third Child?" the male guard asked, his weapon already relaxed. He felt an underlying hostility for the boy, regardless of his pilot status. While Shinji got to be safe, his children were out in the city, to many mouths to feed to warrant anybody else. Most understood that as fact, but they didn't have to like it. "What about this one?" he gestured to Kyoshi.

Turning around, back to the wall, Kyoshi still had her hands up parallel to her face, "Don't mind me, I just brought him here to you." While the scene of Shinji and this woman was touching, Kyoshi didn't care for the looks she was getting from the guards. The fact the woman still had her gun aimed wasn't a good sign. "Want to relax that thing a little?"

Breaking her hold on Shinji, but keeping a hand on his shoulder, Misato turned to the woman. "I can't thank you enough. I can provide you with a fresh stock of food and a few bottles of water as a reward." Misato knew that wasn't what this woman was wanting, but she could pray she took the hint. It wasn't as if fresh supplies were being delivered anymore. Nerv had a job to do still, just because the world had went to shit didn't mean the Angels would stop coming. Resource management had become the order of the day, and a new mouth to feed would only make things worse. "Shinji you head inside and report to Ritsuko at the command bridge," she ushered the boy, reluctant to move, towards the entrance.

"But what about Kyoshi, I would have died if it wasn't for her! You're not going to send her back out there are you Misato-san?" Shinji didn't know what he expected would happen, but kicking Kyoshi back into the deadly streets after saving his life wasn't one of them. The female guard had her hand on his upper arm and slowly pulling him towards the door, but he couldn't let things end this way. "Misato-san?"

Turning to Shinji, Misato offered the best smile she could, "What do you take me for Shinji? Just go and check in, Ritsuko will likely have you take a shower to get that stench off of you, leave this to us ok?" She died a little more inside. Seeing Shinji nod and wave at the other woman, Misato was relieved when Shinji was finally out of sight. "Will you take the supplies and leave or do you insist on staying?" Misato prayed the woman took the offered food and left.

Relaxing the moment the gun was down Kyoshi took a few defiant steps away from the wall. "I think you can hold one more person in here, Misato, that is your name right. And judging from that little show you just put on, I have you to thank for the surprisingly good behavior that boy had." Kyoshi smiled at the door, Shinji really was something unexpected. If only more kids could be like him than adults wouldn't hate teenagers so much. "Before you ask, I'm a registered nurse and what place couldn't stand to have more of those on hand right now."

With her fate sealed, Misato turned to the guard and nodded, "Take her to brown sector to get her a uniform and something to eat." Turning back to Kyoshi, "You have my unending gratitude from bringing him back to me. He's the closest thing I have to a son, and I thought I lost him."

Shocking Misato by taking her hand, Kyoshi gave it a hearty shake, "Nothing to it. Kid was a real life saver. He watched my back as much as I watched his. I wouldn't have gotten here otherwise. But for what its worth, your PR guys should have emphasized his true nature instead of making him some glorified killing machine. I'm going to have to thank him later." Following the guard down the hall, Kyoshi never saw Shinji again.

X-X

"And get Ayanami ready to test in Unit-01 in case we can't get Asuka to go out again," Ritsuko finished to one of the fewer subordinates on the morning shift. With everybody living at Nerv now, shifts were all variable to keep eyes on the cameras to watch for potential break-ins. "When Misato gets back tell her that…" Ritsuko's words fumbled out of her mouth as she dropped a folder spilling a rather detailed report for Fuyutsuki on the ground. "Shinji?"

Feeling the whole room turn to look at him, Shinji was suddenly very self conscious, "Misato-san told me to check in with you before I did anything." Why were they all looking at him as if he'd just come back from the dead? "Did you need me for anything? I'd like to change and get some food if you didn't." He was well aware that the sweat had made him smell rather foul.

A small chorus of cheers went up from the partially populated command bridge. With Asuka in her current state, they were relaying on Rei to do all the work with the Eva's. But with Shinji actually alive and well, they had a much better chance! Several staffers actually poked and prodded the boy as they shook his hand and expressed how glad they were that he was there and well.

"Alright, alright, give the boy some room," Kaji announced as he herded the tired workers away from the pilot. "Ritsuko, come over here and stop playing with Maya for a moment ok?" Kaji chided the doctor. Just as awed and overjoyed that the pilot staff was back to two, the rogue of a man patted Shinji on the back. "Good job getting here, Shinji. We all thought you died. News report was the hospital you were at was overwhelmed with no survivors. Misato was devastated and Asuka…" Kaji tapered off.

Before Shinji could comment on Kaji's off comment, the good scientist Akagi came over, her lab coat splattered with red blotches. "You have no idea how much safer we all feel with you here Shinji. We need as many capable Eva's as possible. I'll let you get some rest before filling you in on the…changes…around here. But just know we're all glad to see you." Patting his shoulder, Ritsuko gestured for Kaji to follow her.

Watching the pair walk off, Shinji was getting a sinking suspicion that things weren't perfect around here. Everybody was tentative about mentioning Asuka, and were about to piss themselves when Shinji showed up. "I wonder what's going on here," he quipped and yawned. Watching Ritsuko and Kaji talk, rather heatedly, Ritsuko was wearing a very stern expression and Kaji appeared angry. When Kaji walked back over he asked, "Something wrong Kaji-san? Akagi-san and you were arguing."

Giving the departing woman a fugitive glance, "She's thinking logically and I'm thinking emotionally is all kid." The bitch had the audacity to tell him to keep Shinji away from Asuka! Having a soft spot for the German, Kaji wasn't going to keep a potential saving grace away from her. Rank be damned, he wasn't going to listen to that order. "I know you'd like nothing but to have a good lie down, but could you do me a favor first?"

Walking out of the command booth towards the changing rooms, Shinji nodded. "If it's nothing to complicated. I don't think I could do much right now. I'm…not feeling to good." The shot and the thud of the woman came screaming at him whenever he closed his eyes. He could have just clipped her not kill her, but he had.

Steering the boy towards the make-shift pilots' quarters just off of the changing rooms, Kaji was happy for Shinji's accommodating nature. With the Eva's still important, maybe more important now than before, the pilots were placed under heavy guard. Those things were congregating in places with the most people, and that meant that every other day or so an Eva was dispatched to clean the entrances to keep them from getting to heavy with the things. Up until last week it had been Asuka, but then something happened that the girl refused to talk about, and since then she refused to pilot. "I want you to talk to Asuka, ok? She took the news of your death harder than most of us thought possible for her. Just talk to her ok?" He was sending the lamb before the lion, but if it helped Asuka to recover Kaji would do it over and over again.

Not really what Shinji was expecting, but a very easy task to agree to. "I can do that, but I hope she doesn't complain about me smelling bad." He pulled at his collar and felt it cling to his skin. The A/C was on but set high, only low enough to keep the computers from breaking down. Noticing Kaji stopping as they rounded the corner, Shinji saw two more guards, both men in there older forties. "Kaji?"

"Pilot sleeping quarters is off limits to everybody except Fuyutsuki, Misato, and Ritsuko. I'll check in with you after I see to Misato. And, I'm glad to see you safe to Shinji," Kaji said with a parting smile. The man made it a point not to mention Gendo in his little list of higher personnel, hoping Shinji would catch on and question it. Kaji didn't believe the story that Gendo killed himself. Knowing the bastard as well as he did, Kaji didn't put any stock in the theory that Kozo found the man dead I his office. "Something smells bad here and it's not the corpses."

X-X

Walking into what had at one time been a medical examination room, Shinji saw a curtain dividing the room in half. He didn't take stock in the pilots' room only having room for two, the notion they had written him off as dead hadn't sunken in yet, not much had. "Asuka are you in here?" he thought he was talking at a normal level but it sounded as if he was yelling. "Kaji said I should talk to you, let you know I'm ok."

For a moment, Asuka's mouth was open wide yet taking in or exhaling out no air. He was alive. "S-Shinji?" Asuka called out weakly as she pulled back the sheet separating her half of the room from Ayanami's half. "They told me you died…" and she had believed it. With so much death around her how could she not believe it? Rubbing her eyes, those pinkish red eyes of hers, and thought maybe it wasn't just punishment for her sins. When Shinji didn't vanish, and in fact came closer, Asuka snapped from her fugue. Diving at the boy she tackled him to the ground she lightly beat on his chest, "Dummy! Dummy! Why did you go off and scare me like that! Never do that again!"

To say Shinji was mystified by the sudden shift in his fortune would have been an understatement. "Asuka, are you alright?" he asked dumbly. How the proud and regal Asuka Langley Soryu had come to meekly pounding on his chest and demanding he never scare her again was outside of his frazzled minds ability to accept. He just held her gingerly and expected her to slap him at a moments notice.

Her mind haunted by the grievous sins she perceived herself as committing, Asuka had stewed in her mind for a long time. Going over her life, bit by bit, she kept coming back to one thing. How she missed this damn boy lying underneath her. Emotions had always been a weak point for her, opting to hide behind the mask of strength and superiority. But right now, after all she had endured; she was willing to let that slide. "You stupid fool. Do I look alright to you? I'm so far from alright it's not even on the same planet." Relaxing her arms, she spread out fully against him, "Just hold me for now, but don't get any funny ideas." His arms wrapped around her like a warm blanket, and for a moment she forgot the pain of seeing Kaji and Misato heading off together nightly. Forgot about all her friends likely being dead, and forgot about how she would need to put her mask on once she walked out that door again.

Believing it either a dream, or karmic repayment, Shinji didn't even think of questioning Asuka's order. "Things have really gone to hell haven't they? The lady that helped me get here told me what she knew, but that wasn't much." Breathing in deeply, Shinji could smell the generic shampoo Nerv bought in bulk in Asuka's hair. "What have I missed?"

Listening to the steady beating of his heart, Asuka could finally feel sleep approaching. She hadn't slept in days, not since the last time she piloted, but now she was at peace. "Don't talk, just lay there," she murmured as her eye lids closed. Eyes stained red with tears and fatigue, Asuka's heart beat in unison with the boy she pinned down. "Just sleep," she finally said as the last of her strength gave out and she was unconscious.

"I have no idea what's happening here, but for now I'll just enjoy it," Shinji whispered to the sleeping girl as he held her. A stress based action? Most likely. Shinji doubted Asuka was suddenly going to say she loved or even liked him. But being the only boy her age around it seemed, and being one of the only people she was close to, it gave Shinji a rare angle to play.

Falling into a light slumber himself, Shinji was awoken by the sound of the door opening. Letting his eyes adjust to the sudden intrusion of artificial light, Shinji could see the familiar white body suit of his other companion. "Ayanami, its not what it looks like," he instinctively said to save further shame if Asuka woke.

"Soryu is not sleeping on you?" Rei quipped as she stepped over the pair and depressurized her suit. "I was told you were found today at the front gate. It will be good to have another pilot." Rei disrobed in full view of the boy without care. Ever since the death of the commander, Rei didn't know what to do with her self. All she felt was cold and a dreading fear of the unknown. Her whole life had been planned and orchestrated by a man now burnt to ashes. "I apologize, Ikari, but I am fatigued and require sleep. We may converse upon my waking if you so desire." And without a further word, Rei got into her cot and fell asleep.

Laughing to himself, Shinji just alternated between Asuka and Rei. "Did I expect anything else from her?" Shinji asked the sleeping Asuka. Rei would be Rei in any situation. Calm, cool, and detached even in the face of Armageddon. He'd talk to the two pilots when he got the chance, but for now, he too just drifted back to sleep and let the warmth he felt radiating from Asuka sooth his battered body.

X-X

"I saw you in the mess hall with Shinji," Kaji said as he held Misato closely in post coital bliss late that night. Without booze, television, or other ways to pass the time Kaji and Misato had taken up there old collage tricks. It wasn't because they were willing, or even for the fun of it, the pair needed and depended on each other now, and this was one of the perks. "Lord knows his showing up was a big bolster for morale."

Snuggling against Kaji's chest, Misato's hand pressed flat against the man she was coming to love again. "Yeah, I about died when I heard him talking. I was so sure I got him killed." But he was alive. He was overwhelmed by the changes, but she'd see to that in the upcoming days. They'd have time if nothing else. "Ritsuko was spitting blood after that little stunt you pulled with Asuka and him though."

Fingers running down her arm, "I wasn't going to let a chance at helping Asuka slip by because Ritsuko was afraid of what she might tell Shinji." Kaji yawned loudly and looked over at the door to Misato's office turned living space. "Think anybody heard us?"

"If they did I bet they got off on it," Misato giggled. "Anyway, with the place what it is now, hearing a couple make love isn't the worst that can happen." She rolled off Kaji and onto her half of the small mattress. "Life has changed now, for all of us. I wouldn't be able to function without your support, and I don't think it egotistical of me to say that the same goes for you." Having somebody watching her back gave Misato the courage to do what had to be done and Kaji had his fare share of tough choices too.

Rolling on his side, spooning Misato, "I know. Just I worry that us doing this will push some guy over the edge and he'd do something he'd regret, and we'd have to punish him for it." Kaji had already seen to two attempted rape charges against one technician and one security guard. They didn't have room for a prison anymore, not with the brig being converted into sleeping quarters, and that bloodied Kaji's hands. "Anyway, when are you going to tell Shinji about his father?"

Having heard Kaji's conspiracy theory more than once, Misato had to agree it held a degree of merit to it. "I will after I tell him about everything else. The mandatory clearings using the Eva's to conserve ammo, not to allow anybody inside Nerv, and how to dispose of those things. He'll likely have questions too, but he'll accept things." Shinji was stronger than he realized, Kyoshi's comments about him weren't wrong about that.

Hugging Misato at the waist, Kaji pulled her close, "I wonder if it's all worth it though. Is this world worth saving as it is? A bunch of people hiding behind walls of steel while letting others die?" He knew they couldn't let more people in or they'd have even bigger problems with resources let alone policing them. But it hurt to see family's broken up, and fearing when a distraught father would try and sneak something by. "How long do we have to keep doing this?"

"Ritsuko said that with how fast the bodies decompose to a state where they can't move, given the rate of new being created, we have to wait about five years. Assuming the angels don't kill us first," Misato recounted flatly. "Now go to bed, our shifts start in about six hours." Hearing him snoring already, Misato wondered how much of her comment he heard. Then realized it didn't matter anyway and joined in slumber as the throng outside Nerv grew in size and covered every inch for a means of access.

X-X

Author notes

Trying to get the whole 'pairing' things out of the way quickly and painlessly. The 'romantic' actions in this story are a side bit a best, but even at times of extreme duress do people find emotions sparking. I just don't want it to be a focal point in this story.

Setting the stage for some of the mysteries and setting, hope ya don't get to offended.

Ja mata

Zentrodie


	3. Chapter 3

Standard Disclaimer

Well I start my training for my 'new' job next week. I still work for the same place just going to be coding in something NOT a legacy language and that makes me happy. Anyway hope ya enjoy.

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 3

He felt a weight against his side when he woke, and it took all of Shinji's willpower not to scream. Fear that it was one of those things, or some person ready to kill him just for whatever meager possessions he had was rampant, but as his neurons started firing he remembered he was at Nerv now and safe. When he finally did open his blurry eyes to see what he suspected he wasn't disappointed. Asuka had snuck into his cot and was fiercely holding onto his arm.

"Whatever happened to you, I hope you tell me soon," he whispered to the fidgeting girl. After the impromptu nap the day before, Shinji had hoped he would get some answers but Ritsuko was to busy. The doctor told him she'd fill him in today as she got him up to speed for his new duties. So while Shinji wandered the base, getting praise from all who saw him simply for not being dead, Asuka tagged along like a lost kitten. Shinji could see the haunted look on her face and sagely didn't question her on it.

Calling thought the curtain that separated Asuka's section from hers, Rei broke the stillness saying "We are expected in Akagi's lab in twenty minutes." Already donning her plugsuit for a long day of tests and potential deployment, Rei's stomach ached horribly. The pain was getting worse, but it wasn't anything she hadn't suffered before. Taking her medication without chasing it with any liquids, the lost child took a confused look at the silhouette moving on the other side. "I will meet you there," she finally said and walked out of the door.

Yawning silently, Shinji did his best to disengage himself from Asuka without waking her. "Don't want you slapping me first thing in the morning," he joked softly. She had been adamant he sleep on her side until something could be worked out to give him a place of his own. Needing to make a connection himself, Shinji didn't mind staying on her half of the room, but he didn't expect to wake up with her hugging his arm. Gingerly pulling said appendage out of Asuka's lax grip, the moment it was free he saw the German's eyes open, "Sorry, did I wake you?"

Following his every movement, Asuka curled up into a ball, "You're leaving." She was able to sleep with him nearby, but if he was gone that coldness swept in instantly and destroyed her fragile peace. That accursed scene played out before her eyes again and again, refusing to let her forget. Everybody she cared for was dead, everybody but Shinji and if she wasn't careful he would be too. "Are you following her or has Akagi already planned to taint you like she did me?"

Grabbing his plutsuit he lifted the sheet that separated Asuka's section from Rei's and went over. Taking his cloths off, feeling embarrassed because he knew Asuka was still watching him, he put the slippery rubber suit on. "Akagi-san said she was going to fill me in on what is going on around here as she tells me what I have to do now. So no, I'm not chasing after Ayanami," he answered knowing part of Asuka's personality would always fear being replaced. "With what you said yesterday about not piloting anymore I didn't think you'd want to go to," he hit the pressurization button.

How could she pilot again after what she did? It was the greatest injustice and the ultimate irony. Her 'brilliant and superior' piloting used to kill. Gathering Shinji's bedding around her like a shawl, Asuka rolled off his cot. "I'm going with you, but that witch won't get me to pilot again." Shuffling towards the door, "But I won't let her do to you what she did to me."

Meeting her at the entrance, "Asuka, will you…will you tell me what happened to you that caused this?" Shinji was afraid to push to hard, pushing her would make her clam up and go distant. But if he didn't ask, if he didn't find out what happened how could he ever help her to recover. Walking past the armed guards, Shinji caught the baleful glare both Asuka and he received from the younger of the two.

Drawing the sheet up to her nose and covering her mouth, "I'll tell you later. I don't want to talk about it now." She owed him that much, she couldn't keep demanding things of him and not tell him why. Asuka was too proud to keep taking from him without justification. "When I'm ready I'll tell you, so don't be stupid and keep asking," she said hotly as she walking through the door to the training stations.

"Ah Shinji-kun, glad you're all suited up already," Ritsuko said offhanded as the pair of teenagers crossed the threshold. "Asuka, I see you're not participating again," her eyes rolled at the sight of the useless child. Nerv needed useful people now, not ego challenged and worthless sacks that didn't contribute. Whatever happened to change Asuka, Ritsuko was hoping it could be corrected or else they'd have to dispose of the needless child. _And if she gets her claws into Shinji it could make things worse if she tells him things or gets him to do what she wants. _ That was the worst thing, with Asuka latching onto Shinji, anything done to her could cascade into Shinji.

Throwing her head back, knocking off the part of the sheet that covered her head, Asuka stomped over to an observation station. "I'm going to make sure Shinji hears the truth, and not some damn lie you or Wondergirl try to feed him," she sat down and crossed her legs. Never breaking sight with Shinji, Asuka was going to see to it that he was told everything so he could make a good decision, and not be led astray as she had been. "Lord knows you won't tell him the full truth, or he might question the high and mighty Ritsuko Akagi," she bellowed.

Sharing an uneasy look with Ritsuko, Shinji shrugged off Asuka's tirade as simply being another of Asuka's coping mechanisms. "When will you tell me about everything?" he asked timidly fearful of another outburst form Asuka. He was smart enough to see that whatever happened to Asuka, she blamed Akagi for part of it. Hearing the sound of the test chamber pressurizing, Shinji guess Rei was bored of watching and already climbed into her tube.

Entering the start commands, Ritsuko pointed at Shinji's chamber, "After tests are finished. I need to see if your little coma affected your piloting abilities." Taking a sidelong glance at Asuka, "With only one other pilot, we need to verify your readings before I can make a set plan for what you'll be doing. If you're still high enough to pilot, then Rei and you will be mostly keeping the entrance clear. If you can't pilot, well then you'll be put on the guard detail most likely." Misato would demand Shinji get a safe and cushy position, but those were in short supply now.

"Don't try to hard, Shinji," Asuka shot out hotly the moment Ritsuko stopped talking. "You'd be better off watching the cameras with the rest of us losers anyway," she crossed her feet and kicked absently with her left at the air. Her job currently, since she abstinently refused piloting, was to view the security feed for any potential threats. Not liking the way Ritsuko was looking at Shinji, "Hurry up idiot, before she does something to you."

Growling in frustration, Ritsuko pinched the space between her eyes as her headache was already growing. "Just get in the tube, Shinji-kun, we'll talk after alright?" her pleading voice was enough to get the boy moving. _Boy does know when to put up and when to shut up. Need to thank Misato for that. _Ritsuko had no doubt her friend had helped craft the accommodating boy before her that was climbing into his tube for his test. "And if you're just going to sit here and bitch, Asuka, make yourself useful and get me some coffee," how anybody could have lived with Asuka was baffling to Ritsuko at this point.

"Fuck you," was all Asuka said as she found the monitor with Shinji on it and wouldn't be moved from her spot. Her dependency on Shinji was shocking, but she couldn't leave him. He had essentially come back from the dead, a miracle in her otherwise devastated life. No friends, no family, and only people who hated her all around her and then suddenly Shinji.

X-X

Misato hated the morning status meetings. Death, lies, and subterfuge were the words of the day. But it was a new reality of life, and the world they knew was gone and might never come back. "We have three more for the raiding party. Their psyche profile indicates they won't break as fast as Fujiko did," she read off the report Makoto provided for her.

Across the table from her, Kaji drummed his fingers along the table, "She took out two of the team with her and then got killed by those things in case you forgot." At times Kaji wondered if Fuyutsuki cared about the loss of life. The old bastard hardly batted an eye at the mortality reports. "A review of our supplies indicates we've plenty of food at the moment, but medical supplies are running low. On top of that people are getting listless, we need to get something in here for them to do. Books, board games, anything to help them cope with this would be great."

Kozo nodded from his place at the head of the table, "Today's raid will be split then. Two parties will be sent out to pharmacies for supplies and one group out for books." He hadn't expected this in all his years planning with Yui. The scenario was destroyed and no amount of scheming or patsies would make it come back on track. Seele had officially been disbanded when the majority of them found there home country overrun. Suddenly nobody cared about the human advancement project, not when their families were tearing themselves into bite sized chunks. "What of the security reports?"

Having what she thought was the worst of the positions in the triumvirate of power, Misato sighed heavily. "Two escape attempts last night. One was a man hoping to bring his children in, and the other was a couple with two weeks worth of food planning on making a break for the country." It pained Misato to see what she had become, what Nerv had become. Once you were admitted into the base you couldn't leave. Admittance equated into service until the ordeal was done.

Reaching across the table, Kaji took Misato's hand hoping the small contact provided the woman the strength she needed to continue. "They were dealt with in the same fashion all deserters and violators were. We confiscated their goods and weapons, revoked security access to the base, and forced them out." It was the same as a death sentence. The man lasted five minutes without his gun. A trio of what looked like teenagers cornered him and feasted. The couple fared much worse, Kaji had watched them from the security office. The woman accused the man of getting them caught, the man didn't agree and the fight escalated. The man killed the woman, his girlfriend of two years with a piece of discarded pipe, and then in remorse killed himself. The two had joined the throng of dead things beating on the door.

"People need to realize the rules are put in place to keep us all safe," Kozo put the reports in a folder and pushed away from the table. Their meetings took place in what had been Gendo's office, the man's desk had been replaced with a small folding table. "If they go outside without proper precaution they might let those things in, and we could get overrun before we can mount a defense." Though Kozo didn't had little care about the others, he could hold up in Terminal Dogma and ride out anything if it came to that. "Anything else to report? This is a little light this morning," Kozo was actually glad for that.

Her frown changing almost instantly, Misato's head bounced up and down. "Shinji's back. He miraculously made it in from the hospital. Apparently the door to his room got damaged and kept him safe," Misato's voice was laden with a sense of gratefulness. She had spent almost her entire day hovering around her boy after he woke. Poking and prodding him with questions about everything that happened between the hospital and Nerv. It upset her that he had to take a life, she saw how it affected him, but reminded him that it was a kill or be killed world now. "He's down with Akagi now being tested."

"Speaking of Akagi, I think we need to put a man or woman on her to watch her," Kaji interjected. "She's been requesting more of those things be brought in to be experimented on. I think she's close to cracking," Kaji couldn't help but see the cold and detached Ritsuko as being dangerous. "Maya would be a good person to use, she's basically useless now with the city defense grid in shambles," and Kaji had the suspicion that Ritsuko had a soft spot for the girl.

Leaning back in his chair, Kozo thought it over. "Have to think about that, while I rather not give the impression that our third in command needs a leash, it would be good to keep Akagi-kun from burning out." Ritsuko was the only other person to fully know what the plans pre-incident had been, and if the woman cracked she might just start talking. I c_an't have any loose lips sinking ships here. _"So tell me more about Ikari-kun's return. It must have been a harrowing tale."

Her smile losing its luster Misato went on, "Not much to tell really. A nurse at the hospital he was at brought him in. Since that point Asuka has been all over him, so that might single she's getting better." But Misato had a new fear now based on Asuka's actions. Before Asuka would never be caught dead clinging to anybody other than Kaji, which ended the night Asuka walked in on the two of them having at each other. Now Misato feared Asuka was becoming dependant on Shinji, that she was forming an unstable bond with him as a way of protecting herself. "If things go well she might even pilot again," those words rang hollow in the room.

Pulling a cigarette out from an inside pocket, Kaji lit up and took a deep drag, "She looked a lot better than the day before that's for sure. It's a little cute to see her hanging onto Ikari like that." Not wanting to think negatively, Kaji simply chose to ignore the changes in Asuka's personality. To let the glaring warnings of a dangerous co-dependency forming fall to the wayside. "As for Shinji himself, I hope Ritsuko tells him about his father when she brings him up to speed," Kaji gave Kozo a hard look that didn't go unmissed by Misato.

Getting out of her chair, a loud metallic scraping accompanying her movement, "If that is all sir I'd like to get some breakfast before I see to today's raid formation." Who were least expendable and who was most, who was going to be sent out to risk their life so that the others could have supplies. Gathering up her papers, she gave Kaji the sign for quiet. The pair were in this together, and with trust being in short supply they worked out a secret sign language.

Rolling his hand over, Kozo stood as well, "I have nothing else. Give Shinji my warmest regards for getting here and my deepest sympathy for his father's death." Without saying another word he picked up his folder and headed out the door to what had once been Gendo's private quarters. He had known Shinji was back, and was glad for it. Gendo had no use, but his son had limitless potential. He had watched the boy get accosted by the broken Second Child via a hidden camera in the pilots sleeping quarters. It had been installed to keep an eye on Rei more than anything, but now had other uses.

Back in Gendo's ex-office, Misato was hotly yet quietly berated Kaji for almost going to far with his accusations of foul play. Kozo was in control and had Ritsuko at his beck and call. If the old bastard decreed that Kaji or herself were in violation of some statute they'd be expelled just like the rest of the trash.

X-X

"Well it looks like your score is roughly where it was before you little health malady," Ritsuko very much liked the readings on the test. "You two can get out now, Rei we won't need a clearing today so you can do whatever you want," she said before unlocking the test plugs. "Going to stare at him all day, Asuka?" Ritsuko wasn't happy with Kaji's violation of her orders. Asuka was in a very fragile state and adding Shinji to the mix was a dangerous solution.

Having discarded the sheet during the test, Asuka hugged her arms and walked off towards the test area. "Going to tell him the truth now Akagi? Or your candy coated version of it?" Asuka had heard all the bullshit before, that they were all dead outside so it didn't matter if she grinded them into paste. Asuka believed Ritsuko when the doctor said all those turned away from Nerv were getting housed in the shelters. Believing Ritsuko was a bad thing. "Shinji! Get your ass over here so we can get this shit started. After this we can eat and play some cards or something."

It amazed Shinji how simply sitting motionless and concentrating could tire him out as much as it did. Waving at the waiting form of Asuka, Shinji helped Rei get out of her tube, "Are you feeling alright Ayanami? You have some dark circles under your eyes," and Shinji never once remembered Rei looking sick, but right now she looked ready to vomit.

"I am suffering only minor discomfort, but I believe sitting down would be best," Rei admitted as a wave of nausea and vertigo washed over her. Grabbing onto Shinji's arm to keep from tumbling over, she let herself be lead by the boy back into Ritsuko's lab. "Soryu, is there a problem?" Rei asked as Asuka tapped her bare foot angrily.

Huffing loudly as Shinji helped Rei to sit down before taking his seat next to her, Asuka tried to keep a clear mind. "Is the big bad killer feeling sick?" Asuka spat out. How Rei could continue to murder all those people just trying to find safety made Asuka question the girls sanity. "And I'd thank YOU to keep your hands off of her," she pointed at Shinji and then Rei before wrapping her arm passively around Shinji's.

"If you're done with the dog and pony show Asuka, I'd like to get started on this briefing before lunch comes," Ritsuko sat behind her desk and waited for the invariable retort from the German. When one didn't come, Ritsuko thanked her lucky stars. "I don't know how much you were told by the woman that brought you in, or by little miss sunshine here, so some of this might be old news to you." In hindsight of the last few weeks, Ritsuko owed Misato an apology for the many comments about Misato's parenting skills. Ritsuko would have murdered Asuka in her sleep a long time ago.

"Kyoshi-san didn't know a whole lot, so I doubt you'll be telling me much I already know," Shinji admitted. Asuka's warmth against his side was relaxing and he found himself actually holding her hand. It was so strange and alien that Asuka would change so much, but what hadn't changed since his coma. "So just start at the beginning."

As the pilots only had one job, Ritsuko didn't mind Rei sitting in on her little debriefing. Asuka was Asuka so Ritsuko was going to be upset regardless. "It all started after the angel battle. How much you remember I don't know, but it doesn't matter." Dimming the lights a little, Ritsuko turned on an overhead projector connected to her computer to add visuals to her explanation. Her job had become taking care of the pilots, a job she loathed thanks to Asuka, and researching what the hell actually happened.

"Should have brought popcorn with me for the show, is it going to be fiction or non-fiction Akagi?" Asuka said smartly as she curled up in her chair and leaned against what had become her pillar of support. The tiny desk chair wasn't the most comfortable thing, but she didn't care.

Clearing her throat and ignoring Asuka as best she could, Ritsuko continued. "The most credible explanation I have been able to come up with is this. Once the Angel had slowed down to the point where it wouldn't do the necessary damage it needed to, it activated a failsafe. It exploded and sent spores into the atmosphere. While concentrated in Japan, given its girth, those spores eventually saturated the entire atmosphere." It was a scientific answer, and as a woman of science she wasn't prone to believing the stupid religious bullshit Misato believed. It wasn't judgment day, God didn't decree the fall of mankind. Hell was not full and letting the dead walk the earth. No, it was a virus created by the angel Asuka and Rei failed to intercept.

"Does that mean we're infected with it to then?" Shinji choked out. If the atmosphere was contaminated it would be impossible to avoid it without lifelong use of respirators. "And if that's true what will happen when we die?" He didn't want his body walking around killing friends and family after he died!

Pulling away slightly from Shinji, Asuka hooked a crooked finger at the person she hated most, "the good doctor here is just bullshitting so she doesn't get locked outside. She doesn't know for sure if this is the case or not. For all we really know it's the Goddamn biblical apocalypse Misato and those other fruits believe." Asuka didn't want to accept that, but it made those most sense. What else could account for the punishment she was receiving? God was cruel and was enacting vengeance on the world.

"Asuka if you don't stop I'm going to have to send you back to your quarters," Ritsuko replied calmly. Noting the abstract horror that fell over the girl, Ritsuko had more evidence of Asuka's declining mental state, the child feared being alone more than anything now. "As I was saying, yes we are all infected I believe. When you die, if it's anything that doesn't destroy the brain, you will come back. The virus reanimates the synapses of corpses and makes them move again."

"But why? If this was something the angel did, why aren't all of those things coming here?" Shinji balked. What motive was there in reanimating the dead? The angels had all came and attacked the Geo-Front for some reason, not humanity in general. "What good could it do?"

"If you haven't looked outside today Shinji, you might not have noticed the large number of those things trying to get in," Ritsuko flipped to several still shots of things trying to claw their way into the base. "For a modus operandi I can't give you much other than maybe this angel was more of a team player than the others." Selecting a new image, one of a hospital over run, "Things started shortly after you went into that coma. The first reanimated bodies were believed to be either psychotics or sick people. And thanks to Tokyo-3 being a global hub now, many of the initial infected were businessmen traveling to and from the city."

Coughing hoarsely, Rei broke up Ritsuko's flow, "I am feeling unwell, and I would like to retire to my room if you do not need me." Wiping a trickling of snot on the back of her arm, Rei stood up and walked out without waiting for Ritsuko's response. Her body was on fire and her head swimming, sleep would solve it, it had to.

After Rei's dramatic exit, Ritsuko continued without so much as a care for Rei's illness. With so many people living together constantly now, disease was going to quickly become rampant. "I believe that while the airborne pathogen was to weak at the start to cause foreign nations to have issues with just the recently dead, those travelers transferred the virus via bites and bodily fluids. Fast forward a week and you have a worldwide pandemic."

"Can it be cured?" Shinji dared hope that Ritsuko had some means to prevent further outbreaks from occurring. "What are we doing to stop this from getting worse?" he was getting frantic, but Asuka's hand squeezed tightly on his and kept him from getting to worked up.

"I'm working on a cure now, but I've few specimens to work with because Fuyutsuki is afraid of letting to many inside for me to work on," and the work was steadily eating at Ritsuko's sanity, but the driven scientist wasn't paying close enough attention to that little detail. "As for what we're doing, you see it now. We're waiting it out in here. Given the rate of decomposition to the number of newly created creatures we'll be here for about five years." Ritsuko flashed a few pictures showing the global spread of the infection over the earth.

Hopping out of her chair, dragging Shinji with her she announced, "Well that's enough bullshit for one day." With Shinji in tow she headed for the door, "The real truth is, we're being punished for our sins. Akagi doesn't know shit about what caused it, and we're just cowards hiding from the monsters at the door." It sickened her how quickly Nerv turned on the people it was supposed to protect, "Lets go Shinji, lets go get something to eat."

But he couldn't move, something had been eating at him ever since he got to the base, refusing to move he felt Asuka tugging on him. "Where is my father? Yesterday Kaji-san said that Misato, Ritsuko, and he were in charge. Right now you said that Fuyutsuki-san wouldn't let you have more of those things in here. Why hasn't anybody mentioned my father?" he asked knowing full well why they wouldn't want to. It was so evident from the silence what the truth was, but even though Shinji had every reason to hate his father he didn't and he wanted to know the truth.

Before Ritsuko could try and soften the blow, Asuka curtly spat out, "Bastard killed himself. Vice Commander found him dead in that office of his a week ago." Asuka spat after she spoke, the nerve of that man. Once things got bad he offed himself because he couldn't face reality.

Waiting for Ritsuko to say something to counter Asuka's rather dark and unexpected end of his father, Shinji only saw bitterness and grief. "I see," were the only words Shinji could muster before Asuka's pulling got him moving again. What else was their really to say to the grim truth. In that expression on Ritsuko's face, Shinji wondered if it was possible that she was hurt more by the death of Gendo Ikari than he was.

X-X

Makoto and Shigeru hated how life had thrown them a curve ball. One minute they had easy technical jobs monitoring the many systems of Nerv, and the next they were armed and responsible for gathering supplies from abandoned shops. Makoto got by with the hopes that Kaji would get eaten and then he'd comfort Misato, but Shigeru had taken to smuggling booze into the base and drinking himself into unconsciousness.

"How much longer are you going to be in there?" Makoto asked the woman that went by the name Lillian. She was a short and unattractive woman that had been part of maintenance crew for the Eva's. "We have the truck loaded already, what the hell else are you doing in there?" his gun pointed inside the small pharmacy just praying nothing shuffled out of the darkness at him. "Lillian?"

Tossing his cashed cigarette butt to the ground, Shigeru rolled his eyes, "You can't be nice with these idiots." Taking two big steps into the building, "Hey! We don't have all day! Get a move on or we'll leave you here to walk back!" Each day Shigeru got up and wondered how his girl friend was, and the baby she had. It wasn't his, but damn he loved it just the same. But no, Nerv can't let non-essential non-employees into the base. So he stewed in his hatred and bitterness. "BITCH MOVE!"

"Calm down, Shigeru, if you get to loud those things will be all over us," Makoto took a fugitive look down the street and saw several of the things were already making a shambling approach. "Lillian what is the hold up?"

No response, just more silence and the occasional clicking of glass to glass. Shigeru pulled out another cigarette, "So what have they been having you do besides risking our lives so they can have all the canned shit they can eat?" The heat was starting to die down thankfully, and because of that the stench of death wasn't making Shigeru nearly as sick as it often did.

"Scanning for any transmissions from other outposts, so far nothing," Makoto hated that silence over the radio. But he'd take it any day over the inhuman moaning from those bastard things closing in. "They have me sleeping next to a couple too…I have to hear them going at it almost every night. This sure has gotten really shitty real fast."

Flicking his ash, and taking a look back inside the shop he caught the girls shadow moving deeper into the store with the bag of drugs. "Yeah, the ol' libido is taking a hit these days. I swear people are either crying themselves to sleep of fucking each other into oblivion." He didn't want sex, he just wanted his girlfriend in his arms, safe and protected from the evils around them. The fact she was likely dead didn't ease his conscious either. "You see those pilots yesterday too? I swear that Soryu girl was literally hanging on the Ikari boy. Sucks to know that teenagers are getting more action than we are."

Letting out long whistle as he fired a shot into the closest creature, "Look those things are getting closer, we better bag this and get the truck moving before we get surrounded." He headed to the door of the truck and climbed inside, "Go get that woman and lets get the fuck out of…"

Lillian's terrified and pain filled screech filled the air, "Oh FUCKING GOD IT BIT ME!" The short brown haired woman cried as she ran out of the shop with a large chunk of her forearm missing. "I-I-I was getting some pills…fell behind the counter…" she cried as she turning towards the store door as Shigeru grabbed her frantically shacking body, "oh god it bit me!"

Taking quick aim, Shigeru put a bullet in Lillian's head before she could say another word. "Fucking shit man," grabbing the bag the woman had carried with her, he jumped into the other door. "Get this piece of shit moving now!" he slapped the dashboard hard and was relieved when the stunned Makoto slammed down on the gas and got the reinforced security truck moving.

"You killed her man…you killed that woman," Makoto finally managed to say as the security access door to Nerv rolled into view. "You didn't have to do that, we could have…could have cut her arm off or something." The sudden rage and deadly actions of his old friend were making Makoto nervous to be around the man.

"Fucking morning after pills…she died for morning after pills can you believe it?" Shigeru roared with laughter as he continued to rifle through Lillian's last bag of necessities. "And she was easier to take out before she changed is all, she was as good as dead the moment that thing bit her." The part of Shigeru that gave two-shits about strangers died the moment Kozo forbade him from sparing his potential family's life.

X-X

Lying in his cot, Shinji was ready for the day to end. Ritsuko told him what his new role in life was, and then Asuka pointedly told him to tell Ritsuko to cram it up her vagina so hard that it came out her nose. He was to assist Rei in keeping the entrance clear of those things. Some were to be captured and brought in for experimentation, but the majority smashed. If and when angels attacked he'd fight them, and other than that it was to keep out of everybody else.

Misato had came for supper and asked him if he had any questions about what he was tasked with now, and to offer comfort in regards to the death of his father. Oddly enough Shinji felt almost nothing for the death of Gendo. With everything else going on, Gendo not being part of his life really didn't change things. What did make Shinji a little disquieted was how Asuka refused to be out of sight of him unless he was using the toilet. She didn't say much when they were alone, but if anybody else was around she was unduly harsh.

Now on his side, the flimsy cot offering little in the means of comfort, Rei's stuttering snore heard from the other side of the dividing sheet, Shinji and Asuka just gazed at each other. "Are you going to tell me what happened to you when you were piloting now?" he had heard Asuka try to say something about it a few times during the day, but somebody always came along to interrupt her.

Sitting up in her bed enough to see Rei's outline, Asuka reclined and reached out for Shinji's hand. He took it and she smiled weakly. "I don't want you to tell anybody else alright. This is between you, me, and the hateful god that did this to us." Taking a deep breath, the once proud German closed her eyes and shuddered as she relieved her most haunted memories. "I killed Hikari, Shinji. And no she wasn't one of those things when I did. I killed my best friend and her family."

His gasp would have been loud had Asuka not covered his mouth and pointed at a ceiling vent. When he tried to move his head to look at it, she kept it in place by applying more pressure. Whispering as low as Asuka had, "What is it? What happened?" A thousand different scenarios played out in Shinji's mind that equated to Asuka killing not only Hikari but the two sisters he had heard about, and none of it made sense.

"Security camera hidden in the vent, I saw it the other day when I was changing so keep your voice down," Asuka was tempted at the time to break it. But her intelligence reminded her that it's better to know where something is than not. If she broke the device she knew, how many more would be added that she didn't. "And what happened was I followed that bitches orders."

A single tear trailed down Asuka's face, the first she had since the day it happened. "This all starts out before things got really bad. After the first few waves of panic, Misato moved me into the base. Hikari and her sisters came a week later trying to get in." Grinding her teeth, Asuka hated the decision as most of Nerv did, "Fuckers turned her away, Ritsuko told me that the shelters were opened for them to go into. Turns out that's a load of pig shit."

Tentatively pulling Asuka's hand away form his mouth, "Why would she lie about something like that?" And if they'd lie about something like that, what else would they lie about? Making a mental reminder, Shinji was going to hunt down Kyoshi to say high in the morning.

Just shaking her head, Asuka fiery red mane ground against her pillow, "Because it kept me from saying anything. So awhile later I get sent out to clear those fucking things from the front gates. I ground them under Unit-02's feet so hard that the bones had to be removed by technicians. They were dead…I didn't care at the time. But one day I go up to do it and I see that not all of them are focusing at the gates, some are bunching up by a store. So I go to clear them so they don't come the next day or something."

Drinking in Asuka's pain as the tears started to come more freely, Shinji's other hand caressed the girl's cheek. "Are you sure you want to tell me this?" because he wasn't sure he wanted to hear anymore. She had no problem killing those things, but some how she didn't just kill them, and he was going to be doing the same exact thing soon.

Swallowing hard Asuka continued as if Shinji hadn't said a word. "I crashed into them and stomped them into bloody smears, only these ones are screaming. I had forgot to turn my external link off after Misato gave me my orders for the day. They were screaming because half of them weren't dead yet! They were fighting them off, refugees from the Nerv gates holed up in a grocery store that was being overrun. Hikari…Hikari was trying to run away and as my foot was going down on her I…I…I recognized her! Dear God I actually saw her face as my foot went down on her."

A mistake, a tragic mistake, but one Shinji could see anybody making. Mixing normal people with those things, Asuka just doing her job to clear out the horrid things found out that half of the things she was destroying were actually people, and after she's committed to a stomp sees her friend in the path of obliteration. Opening his mouth to try and console her, Asuka covered it with her hand again.

"Don't say anything…I know it was an accident. I know that it was painless, but she was my friend! MY friend…I had so few real honest friends and I crushed the life out of her because I had bloodlust and wanted to annihilate as many of those fucking things," Asuka shuddered as the reality washed over her. She had been having fun crushing those damnable things, and then reality hit. And Hikari died, surveying the carnage after she had finished she saw the half crushed bodies of Hikari's sisters. "I'll never pilot that thing again…I'm a damn murderer Shinji, I fucking killed my best friend."

Pulling the openly sobbing girl into his arms, Shinji didn't know what to say to her. But nothing he said would have made more an impact than him simply being there. Crawling into his cot again, Asuka just let Shinji hold her and run his fingers through her hair. In her eyes it was far more than she deserved. But she would be damned to the darkest pits of hell if she let anything happen to the only other person that she gave two shits about now. Shinji was the only thing that mattered now to her, now that Unit-02 was a symbol for her greatest sins and Kaji was off with the whore.

X-X

Author notes

Did I mention this wasn't going to be a smiley happy story? If not I'm sure you realize that now. Trying to show how people can change based on tragedy and abstract horror. Keeping Asuka from being do different is hard, but I hope I'm doing a good job.

Anyway hope you enjoyed.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	4. Chapter 4

Standard Disclaimer

Funny how my comedy stories get read a lot but my pet project sits dejected in the bin. Oh well I guess horror isn't as popular…not that I care. This probably is my favorite story to write of my options right now, hope you agree.

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 4

Time seemed to move quickly for Shinji after his shaky wake up and trek across the now overrun streets of Tokyo-3. Two weeks worth of his life had passed with boring fashion. He had cleared out the entrance to the Geo-Front three times, and thanks to Asuka's story, fought to maintain his control during his forays into battle. It was hard, painfully hard, and he could see how Asuka had lost herself in the unbridled rage of slaughtering them. Those things had ruined his life, killed countless people, and in effect enslaved the world.

When he went out though Asuka was the last thing he saw when he climbed into the entry plug, and the first thing he saw when he got out. She followed him everywhere, always watching him, and quick to offend anybody that came within speaking distance of him. It wasn't that he minded though, he had nobody else to talk too really. Besides Rei but the albino was still suffering from whatever illness she had so spent most of her time sleeping.

So when he wasn't undergoing tests for Ritsuko, he was palling around with Asuka. They'd play cards, read some of the pilfered magazines, or play some of the board games the crews brought in to fight off boredom. When it came for Asuka to do her stint of duty, Shinji sat next to her and they pair watched the video feed of the things banging on the doors and shuffling around. Occasionally they'd watch a survivor come to the check in station, and every time they'd watch the same scene play out. A quick 'no' and an aimed gun later and the rejected human was sent back into the wastes. That ended though, and the first stone was dropped into the bucket of doubt for Shinji.

"Oh this is going to be a good one," Asuka pointed at the monitor to the main gate. "Haven't had one of these types in a long while so pay attention," she tugged on Shinji's arm to get his attention. Asuka didn't mind guard duty now, not when her number two was Shinji. Before he came back, she would just pretend to watch the screens and leave the real work to whoever had the audacity to share her personal space.

Drawing in closer to the redhead, Shinji was painfully aware of her presence lately. "What is it?" he hoped his voice didn't betray him. Spending so much time with the German, Shinji was slowly coming to terms with his feelings for her. He cared about her deeply, and knowing her as he did he didn't fully expect it to be reciprocated. "Its just more people trying to get in, isn't it?" he quipped as he pointed his finger at the monitor.

Eyebrows hardening and a sick grin, Asuka reclined in the seat and came within inches of bouncing her head off Shinji's. "No, this one is different. See how he has his gun out? Guy is practically begging for this. Nerv is an evil place, Shinji, far more than you or I ever suspected." Asuka had only seen this little play twice before, and it had she not been as quick witted as she was wouldn't have realized what she was seeing. "Just watch, Shinji, just watch," but now her eyes were on him and not the screen.

Watching the disheveled man's frantic actions, Shinji's palms felt sweaty as anticipation of a gunfight built. "They're not going to kill him are they?" he asked but received only silence from his neigh inseparable partner. The gun, a small handgun, danced from guard to guard, if the man fired and connected it would likely kill the target while the living guard would finish him off. But then all the sudden the guards put their guns down and lifted their arms up in submission. "Wait…are they going to let that guy in?" Shinji couldn't believe it.

"You really are naïve," Asuka grunted and crossed her legs. "Listen to what they're saying," she bent forward and turned up the volume, and in the process brushed her shoulder against his intentionally. The conversation of the guards came across full of static, but it was still easy to make out. "Hear how they mentioned Brown sector? Take a look out of all the cameras, which one is the only broken one?" she gestured to the bay of monitors.

As he watched the guards escorting the man off camera, Shinji felt his innards loosen and chill. "Brown…only Brown is offline," but he remembered so vividly that Misato had sent Kyoshi to Brown after they separated. He had so wanted to check in on his savior, but with Asuka in full territorial mode he hadn't risked upsetting her. While he had no faith that Asuka was acting as she was because she actually liked him, he didn't want to upset the vegetable cart. "I'm sure it's just a coincidence," it had to be, but then why was his voice so cracked.

Standing up abruptly, Asuka hooked her arm around Shinji's and started walking out of the small room. "I hoped so too when I first saw this, but when they had me take the garbage out once, I was still piloting then, I looked inside the containers and low and behold was Mr. Gunman full of holes. Brown is a story they use for potentially dangerous outsiders. They lie to them to get them to relax and kill them once they get inside," Asuka spit to clear her palette of the distaste her little revelation caused. "Lets get some lunch and play chess, Wondergirl has cleanup duty today so we won't have to include her."

His body quivered ever so slightly as he worked to digest what Asuka had told him. "Y-yeah…sounds good, and thanks for letting Ayanami play with us when she IS well enough," he had no interest in eating right now, not after what he heard. He'd have to ask Misato about it, surely his surrogate mother wouldn't have killed the nurse, and it was all just a big concurrence.

"Whatever, you'd just whine about it until I let her royal pain-in-the-ass play," Asuka tried to keep her possessiveness at bay less she push her only close person further away. She could tell, thankfully, that Shinji didn't see Rei as a potential replacement for her, just a filling of pity. _Wondergirl did take the Commanders death really hard, guess that favoritism line wasn't all bluff after all. _Hugging Shinji's arm absently, she wondered just what went on between Rei and the old dead bastard.

X-X

Her smock was covered in blood and gore, but Ritsuko hardly paused to notice. "Now if I remove this…" she murmured as she pulled the lungs and heart out of a specimen that had once been a young woman roughly her own age. "See, Maya, nothing could live with so many organs removed." Holding her hand just out of the things reach, she watched as it lazily tried to bite her. "It still wants to eat me. Amazing isn't it?"

Maya revulsion of her new job as Ritsuko's assistant had come quickly. "Akagi-sempai, I thought you were supposed to be looking for a way to reverse the process. What can be gained from, from playing with it?" Three specimen had already been destroyed, and it was only a little passed noon. Maya had been thrilled with the idea of helping Ritsuko come up with some way of saving humanity, but now she was rethinking her decision.

Rubbing the perspiration from her brow, and smearing it with blood, Ritsuko stretched back and popped her back. "If you can't see what I'm doing here, Maya, then I think maybe you're not suited to be my assistant!" Ritsuko's eyes went wide as she spun to face the timid woman, the scalpel in her hand pointed threateningly at her. "I'm not 'playing' with this thing, I'm studying how it reacts to stimuli in an attempt to find additional ways to destroy them!"

Stutter stepping back, Maya put her hands up, "I-I-I'm sorry Akagi-sempai, I didn't know. It's only my second day of helping you after all." Never had Maya seen the paramount of calm Akagi snap so badly. "C-could you put the knife down, sempai, you're scaring me a little." 'A lot' would have been a better qualifier for Maya's fear level, but sagely Maya kept that little tidbit to herself.

Blinking rapidly, Ritsuko came to the realization that she was in fact jutting her scalpel at the frightened girl. Dropping the tiny metal slip as if it had become radioactive, Ritsuko took a step away from it. "I'm sorry Maya," Ritsuko stammered. "I'm just a little stressed right now, I guess. Ever since I've been tasked with watching over the pilots, things have just gotten a little overwhelming."

Nodding her head to a set of chairs in what had lovingly been dubbed 'Akagi's lair', Maya intoned, "How about we take a small break. I think you could really use on." The duo had been working since daybreak with only few moments break when Ritsuko told Rei about the need for more specimens. "I think we have some coffee left if you'd like some."

"Yes on the break, but no on the coffee. I have enough issues trying to sleep lately, I don't need caffeine overdose to add to that," Ritsuko said with a grin as she pulled she smock off. Following gingerly behind the still visibly shaken Maya, Ritsuko was stunned at her sudden violent outbreak. "So how have you been holding up through all of this?" she asked weakly.

Letting out a loud sigh as she took a seat, her feet arched horribly, Maya clenched her hands together. "Honestly not to well. It was hard to tell my parents they couldn't come onto the base, and I can only wonder what happened to my pet ferret." Maya didn't know which she was more worried about. "But as for myself, I'm doing alright I suppose. I just wish the couple that sleeps next to my cell weren't so keen on…you know."

A light rap on the door and a second later, Kaji walked into the room. "Sorry to interrupt you to, but judging by the conversation I figured now would be the best time to intrude," he favored the women with his signature lady-killer smile. He had been listening intently to the pair for the last twenty minutes waiting for the best time to intrude upon Ritsuko's 'sacred grounds'. "The old man and Misato wanted me to give you the morning minutes, and to get an update from you."

"I figured you'd show up sooner or later today," Ritsuko groaned as she pulled a cigarette out of her pack. She was always waiting for Kaji to show up, and it was never a good thing when he did. Ritsuko was glad about one thing involving the man however, he kept Misato in subdued. "As for your problem, Maya, have you considered either joining them or getting earplugs? I'm sure Kaji could arrange for you to get a pair and sex is great for making you tired…hmm…I might need to get a good lay in so I can finally get some sleep."

Her face turning slightly pink, Maya tittered lightly, unsure if Ritsuko meant what she said or if she was trying to be comical. "I don't think I'd like to sleep with Ano-kun, little on the chubby side for my tastes." Turning to Kaji, who looked better every time she saw him, Maya wouldn't have minded a quick romp with him, but suspected Misato kept him on a tight leash. "What news do you have for us Kaji-san?"

Handing Ritsuko the meeting notes that mattered, Kaji shrugged. "We lost another one last night. Toshi-kun from maintenance got separated from his group while gathering more medical supplies. When his crew found him he was in four pieces. On a lighter note it seems that Sagara and Tesse from special section two are getting married, even asked Misato to preside over the ceremony."

Blowing smoke out through her nose, Ritsuko snorted out jovially, "And here I suspected we wouldn't have to put up with more weddings. I bet Misato will love her new role in all this shit." Flicking her ashes, Ritsuko's eye twitched angrily as she noticed Maya's eyes drifting south of Kaji's border. _All it takes is fear to make everybody want to fuck. Damn instincts to hell for making us slaves to our sex drives. _"So what did you want to hear from me, Kaji?"

Kaji was indeed very satisfied with Misato, his feelings for her growing by the day, it did his ego proud to see Maya's not to hidden longing. "Kozo is wanting to know how many of those things you have in the base now. And Misato is asking that you have Ayanami bring them in and not Shinji. Mother hen that she is, Misato is really taken to worrying about him." Kaji wasn't sure if he liked that, Misato had almost instantly put Shinji ahead of him on her importance list.

Reaching for a scrap of paper with her numbers on them, Ritsuko purposefully slide up against Maya. "According to my tallies, I have seven more in the holding pen. Rei should be bringing in more today." The contact felt good, but Ritsuko did feel a growing need to release her pent up anxiety. "As for Shinji, tell Misato that as much as she dotes on him, he IS a soldier now. He has to fulfill his role or we don't have a use for him. We can't all behave like Asuka and expect the world to work for us."

A cold brewing fury ignited inside Kaji. "Hey, she has her reasons, and she is helping out. So I don't want to hear anymore shit from you about Asuka alright?" The girl had to have gone through some serious shit to have scarred her so much. And walking in on Misato and him while he was going down on the lovely captain really didn't help. "And wipe that fucking grin off your face," he hated that condescending smile of hers.

"So have you fucked Asuka yet, Kaji?" Ritsuko chided the man. Men were always so easy to goad and prod into anger. "Oh wait, according to Misato she saw you and her going at each other and stopped talking to you. So is this you trying to work your way back into her good graces, or was that sacrificing Shinji to her?" She couldn't stand the infuriating Second Child, and it was annoying how she practically clung to Shinji. _If she ever tries to make him as useless as she is, I'll kill her myself. _Oddly, thinking of murdering Asuka got the doctor excited.

Gasping loud and covering her mouth, "Akagi-sempai that was too much! Kaji-san is just trying to look out for Asuka is all. No reason to suspect he would have…that they would…" A grown man having sex with a child was a horrid idea, even in a world as desolate as they were in. But as painful as it was to accept, Maya knew that it was a possibility and it was one of the major reasons the pilots lived secluded from the others at Nerv and were under constant guard.

"Don't pay her any mind, Maya," Kaji said hotly and thumbed his nose. "Ritsuko's just upset that Asuka has people who care about her, which she can't say she has now that Gendo ate a bullet." The look that generated on Ritsuko's face, unadulterated rage, was well worth letting the dragon out of his hand, Kaji factored. "Yeah I knew you were fucking that bastard, just like your mother had. Well guess what, Rits, the bastard was fucking just about anybody he could to get power. I have evidence if you want to see you were just another pawn of his. In bed and out," dodging a flying coffee cup, Kaji quickly escaped the room.

X-X

Sitting around the small table, Shigeru looked over his cards at the three men playing against him. Makoto had his typical failure of a poker face on, trying to hide the fact he had a good hand, Takagi was frowning pretty pad, and Keiichi wasn't really paying attention. "This has got to be the lamest card game we have ever had," he moaned and tossed his cards onto the table.

"We only played two rounds, Shigeru, why are you quitting now?" Makoto fussed as the other players joined Shigeru in quitting. He would have won that time damn it! "Guys? You're all quitting?" he had just gotten back from his tour of guard duty and wanted to unwind.

Keiichi shrugged and pushed back from the table, "No offence, Makoto, but playing poker everyday has become so boring I'd rather just talk with my girlfriend than play." It didn't hurt that his girlfriend was one of the more attractive women on base, but that left the poor man constantly worried that she'd be raped or leave him for somebody better.

Pulling a switch blade out of his pocket, Takagi started playing with the heavily used blade. "Same goes for me. You guys are cool and all, but playing the same game over and over is just plain boring. I'd rather be doing anything else." Accidentally nicking his finger with the blade he put the bleeding finger in his mouth. "Next time I go out for supplies I'm bringing back one of those portable game units and a metric fuck ton of batteries."

Checking his watch, ten more minutes till he went on patrol, Shigeru felt his anxiety start to rise again. "Anybody heard any good rumors lately? I mean with so many of us cramped in here, their has got to be a few good ones." He just wanted the time to fly by so he could get back on the two way radio. He had picked up his girlfriend just the day before! She was safe with her daughter in an abandoned gas station not far from base.

Pulling back up next to the table, Keiichi checked the break room turned recreation room for anybody nearby. Three women were huddled in the corner engaged in light conversation so he kept his voice down. "You guys hear the one about that pilot Ayanami?" It was a sick rumor, but as disgusted as he was by the notion, Keiichi could see the brass actually doing it.

"The one about her and the Gendo? Man…I seriously doubt that the commander was a pedophile," Makoto scoffed as he chuckled a little. Nobody had really liked Gendo, but whoever started the rumor that the crazy fucker was boning kids was especially twisted. "Or the one about her and uh-what was his name…Shinji! Yeah, that one could be true," everybody saw how Shinji and Rei sort of clicked in an odd way.

Waving his hand dismissively, Keiichi gestured for the men to come in closer. "No, this one is twisted as all hell, but I heard it from three different people." Checking the women again, he was glad they weren't paying attention. "No, with the number of women being so low…if moral gets to bad, I heard they'd start letting the single guys have turns with her."

Takagi fell back and out of his seat as gales of laughter hit him, "Oh man! That is some sick and twisted shit right there. Holy fuck, do you know how depraved you'd need to be to…" he found himself unable to finish. Because as sick and wrong the idea was, he felt his slacks become a little more confining. He hadn't had a good romp in the hay since the ordeal started, and with almost every woman taken…maybe that lithe teenager wasn't such a bad thing.

Dabbing his face with the corner of his uniform, Shigeru dispensed with the tears of laughter he had. "I seriously doubt that one, but speaking of those pilots. Did you guys hear the one about the other girl pilot…Asuka. Word is she's been banging that Shinji kid the day he walked into the complex! It really sucks to know teenagers are getting more action than we are, with the exception of Keiichi here and his fucking goddess. Seriously man, how you scored a girl like her is crazy."

Takagi was ashamed of how just hearing about this type of thing was getting him agitated. "I've heard that one, and with how she's usually seen so close to the kid I'm more likely to believe it." Now the other pilot, Takagi was more inclined to wanting a go with her, she looked older, and with her foreign features was so achingly beautiful. "But don't they keep all the pilots in the same room? Wouldn't that other one be there?"

Sliding the cards back into the pack, Makoto shrugged as he pocketed the deck. "I don't really think they're having sex yet. They're just kids after all. For all we know of them, they're just really close and she's scared is all. But…if they were…maybe they get at it together or Ayanami just doesn't care?" Everything was circumstantial, namely because the pilot wing was off limits to just about everybody so it was a rare day to even see one of the pilots.

As Takagi started talking about the rumor of Gendo's suicide really being a murder, Shigeru got out of his chair. "Well as much as I'd love to stay here and listen to the tale of how you all get expelled from this place, my shift is coming up." Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he tried to look as calm as he could. He was hatching a plan, a plan to get his would-be family into the safety of the Geo-Front as quickly as possible. Shuffling off in his none-to hurried pace he tapped the young woman he was relieving. "You can take off I can handle this on my own."

Tesse was more than happy to oblige, Sosuke was off at this time and she really wanted to start their 'honeymoon'. Following Tesse to the door, Shigeru watched the petit genius walk off with a noticeable skip in her step and shut the door to the monitoring station. Within moments he was tuning to Momiji's frequency. "Baby are you there, Baby can you hear me?" he dreaded the static would continue on forever.

"Shigeru-chan, I'm here. I was taking a nap," her voice sounded tired over the crackling station.

"Thank God for that, I was so worried I'd not hear your voice again," he let out a large breath. "Have you heard from anybody else, or did you stop sending out signal out like I asked you to?" He had heard her emergency broadcast while he listlessly scanned for government of military frequencies. But if he had heard it that meant other people could have and not everybody could be trusted. "I'm working on a plan to get you in here, Baby, both of you."

More silence over the air, that horrible dead air, "Thank you so much…we'll die out here on our own," it sounded to Shigeru that Momiji was crying. "Will it be soon?"

"Yeah, I have everything planned out, and I just need to get Makoto in on it with me," Shigeru confessed. It would be a little of 'you scratch my back I'll scratch yours' and it would mean he'd have to dirty his hands a lot, but for Momiji it was worth it. "So tell me what you've been doing over there?"

For the next thirty minutes Shigeru listened to Momiji go over everything that had been happening to her. At one point Misato had opened the door to check how progress was and she simply found Shigeru listening to static over the radio. With no reason to bother him, she shut the door as he continued 'hearing' his long dead girlfriend talking to him.

X-X

"Stop being so damn depressed already!" Asuka yelled as the duo headed back to their room from the mess hall. "So you didn't get to see Misato today, stop being a big baby about it and get over it. She's basically running this damn place now so she's busy!" What annoyed Asuka the most was how fixated on Misato he was, how he was more concerned about the damn whore and not her.

Watching the guards stationed outside their quarters saluting the guards escorting them back, Shinji rolled his eyes. "It's not that I wanted to see her just to see her, Asuka. I had an important question to ask her and until I do I'll be anxious," Shinji confessed. He wouldn't tell Asuka what the question was, and secretly he doubted she cared at all to know what it was. Opening the door for the brooding German, Shinji shut it after he got in. "Ok…is it just me or do the guards always look like they're angry at us?"

Checking Rei's side and finding the pale girl already sleeping, Asuka smiled softly. She was ready to make something official to the boy next to her. Sitting on her bed, back propped against the wall, Asuka hummed as she thought about his question. "I don't pay them much attention, but now that you mention it I guess I have. They're probably just pissed that we get a bigger room than they do," she patted the spot on her bed next to her.

Missing Asuka's signal, Shinji sat on his cot and reached for the book he had decided on reading. With supper, a tasteless beef and broccoli, in his stomach, he had nothing else to do until the next day and everything started again. "That could be, but it makes me a little nervous to know the people that are keeping us safe don't really like us."

Giving Shinji a particularly nasty glare, Asuka flexed her thigh irritated. "Not everybody is going to like you, Shinji. Since this whole mess started I know I'm almost hated by everybody now that I've stopped piloting and honestly I couldn't care less." She was cursed and what cursed person had friends. No, her friends died at her hand so maybe that's why the others kept their distance. "What book is that?" she asked with a combination of boredom and frustration.

Shutting the book and showing Asuka the cover, "'Hunchback of Notre Dame', I figured I might as well try reading something long." He had never really been a fan of reading, but without his SDAT he needed something to keep his brain from working and he wasn't a fan of alcohol. "Why do you ask, did you want to do something?" the chess matches were typically fast since Asuka thought twenty moves ahead of his three.

A weaker than normal voice preempted Asuka's comment, "What time is it?" Rei sat up and rubbed her temples. She laid down to take a small nap after lunch, but it felt as if much more time had passed.

Turning to face Rei's silhouette, and again missing Asuka's annoyed expression, Shinji checked the alarm clock on Asuka's nightstand. "It's just after six, Ayanami, did you have a good sleep?" She had been sleeping the entire time they played earlier. Shinji was beginning to worry about her health, but Ritsuko insured him that Rei would be fine in time. "I was going to wake you for supper but Asuka said you'd probably want to sleep instead."

Crawling under the dividing sheet, Rei sat on Shinji's cot at an acceptable distance for Asuka's taste. "She was right. My condition appears to be slowly improving, and it is hastened by sleep. I will get my evening repast in a few minutes." She didn't know if she was actually getting better or just becoming more accustomed to the illness. "Soryu, did I say something to offend you?" Rei quipped as Asuka's face scrunched up in anger.

"You're going to want him to go with you, aren't you?" Asuka said hotly. Why else would Rei have mentioned her plans unless she was expecting more pity from Shinji? She saw it everywhere, from Rei having Shinji help her during the tests, to having him escort her to the lavatory. "Well aren't you?"

Shaking her head, a wave of vertigo accompanying it, Rei fell slightly towards Shinji who promptly caught and steadied her. "No, I would not want to disrupt your conversation." While Rei did appreciate Shinji's attention to her needs, she would not press for anything. She never asked for much, and in a strange way Shinji reminded Rei of Gendo and that eased her fevered mind. Now if Shinji started giving her orders everything would be well.

"Are you sure you'll be ok on your own?" Shinji couldn't keep the fear from his voice. He was concerned for the poor girl, a friends concern and not a lovers. "I mean we did just eat, but we could at least walk you there to make sure you got there ok." He hoped Asuka would agree to that, he looked at the fiery German pleadingly.

Rei squeezed Shinji's arm lightly, "We have guardians that can do that, but your concern is appreciated." Despite sleeping so much, Rei still felt horribly tired. "And I believe Soryu would be displeased if you spent time alone with me. Is it not unacceptable for a man to be alone with a woman not his lover?"

"Wha…Ayanami, Asuka is not my lov…" Shinji gushed as his face burnt a charming pink. His affection for Asuka was high, but he wasn't delusional.

Asuka however cut Shinji off before he could deny the albino's claim. "Yes he is, and yes it is wrong for you to be clinging onto him like that." On seeing Shinji's stunned and shocked expression, Asuka's cruel smile melted into one of general happiness. "What? Did you think I was letting you hang around me all the time for nothing? Look Shinji, I'll be honest you're not my ideal type, but neither of us have many options. I will not be some cum dumpster for those sick bastards out there. But I do want to know what love is and to know how it feels like. So unless you're going to be a wuss about it you're going to be my man."

To say he was flabbergasted would have been an understatement. Part of his mind did register that she had basically said she had no other options so she was taking him, but that didn't matter. "Asuka…you mean it?" his first reaction was in fact to not believe her. Asuka could be cruel at times, but if this was a joke to her then maybe he would take Misato up on the option of getting is own smaller room.

"Yeah I do. Things could get real bad here real quick, and I want to know that somebody cares enough about me to help me up if I fall while trying to get out." It was a weak excuse, but she couldn't tell Shinji the truth with Rei there. Her pride wouldn't allow her to show weakness in front of a potential enemy. To everybody else, Shinji was just a convenient way of getting affection. But in private, she'd tell him the truth. Tell him that the rest of the base could go to hell in a hand basket but she wouldn't care as long as he was with her.

Getting up on shaky legs, Rei made her way towards the door. "I will leave you two to discuss this matter in private." She didn't care if Asuka and Shinji were a couple, she had often seen Gendo with numerous women and it didn't bother him. As long as she could get some form of replacement for the driving force in her life, she wouldn't care at all.

Kozo watched the pair talking rather intimately for roughly twenty minutes before Asuka initiated a rather prolonged kiss. At which point he turned off the camera with a worried expression. If Asuka didn't start pulling her weight, Kozo was going to take Ritsuko up on her plan of staging an accident. A mouth to feed that didn't contribute was something they'd need to get ride of. "If worse comes to worse I'll simple order Ayanami to be her replacement," but he didn't really like the idea of ordering the damaged girl around as Gendo did. "Maybe though…I can use HIM to get her to pilot again," ideas were forming in his well honed brain to get the Second Child back on the duty roster.

X-X

Author Notes

Yeah I wanted to make this part clear. This isn't a romance story, but in any situation like this people will cling to somebody for support if they can. Hope it didn't come to far out of left field. Anyway hope ya enjoyed.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	5. Chapter 5

Standard Disclaimer

Trying something different today so bare that in mind..

X-X

The Beginning is the End

Chp – 5

Standing in the command box overlooking the rest of the bridge, Shinji tugged at his collar. "Is it normally this hot up here?" he turned to Asuka. Seeing his girlfriend of a full week shrug, he turned to Misato. Having just gotten the chance to see his surrogate since Asuka enlightened him to the 'Brown Sector' conspiracy, he wasn't expecting her to request the three pilots attend a monthly town hall session. Wanting to question her, but also reluctant to intone that she'd do anything bad, "Misato-san, is it normally like this?"

Ruffling his hair, and catching Asuka's reaction from the corner of her eye, Misato chuckled, "Only when the prim box has over seventy people in it. They tend to generate a lot of body heat." Just seeing that Shinji was alive, and seemingly well, made everything she was doing worthwhile to the haggard leader. Kaji had been the emotional support she needed, but Shinji had been the drive. "You two doing alright?" she flinched her head towards the cross armed and sulking German.

Blushing softly and looking down at his feet, "You knew about that?" Being as sequestered as they were, Shinji half suspected nobody knew about Asuka's sudden zeal for relationships. While they had been almost constant companions before, it was even greater now as Asuka was insistent she not leave his side unless mandatory. And she showed her attachment by constant hand holding or holding his arm. He loved every minute of it. "We thought we were being secretive," he added softly.

"You were, it's just Kaji takes a special degree of attention regarding his little girl there," Misato pointed at Asuka who pretended not to be eavesdropping. Misato wasn't sure if she agreed with her life mate about the Asuka issue. While it was a boon now for Shinji, Misato could tell that Kozo and Ritsuko weren't taking Asuka's slacking well. "He also said you've been trying to see me lately, any reason or just wanting to say 'hi'?" Oh how she hoped it was the latter.

Wrapping his arms around both Misato's and Shinji's shoulders, Kaji pulled the little family into a communal hug. "Well she managed to get the two of you out of that room of yours. I knew Ayanami would come, but Asuka always skipped on these meetings," the former spy joked. Asuka didn't care about the meeting, Kaji knew that, she knew Shinji would go at Misato's insistence and she didn't want to be alone.

A trifle embarrassed to be held in public by Kaji, Shinji squirmed a little in the man's grip. All his actions however only managed to cause however was to rub his face against Kaji's stubble. "Misato-san said it was important to come to these meetings, and I wanted to talk with her after, if she was available," Shinji noticed how Kaji pulled back the instant he mentioned talking to Misato. Another drop in the bucket of his worry.

Eying Misato warily, Kaji did his best to stay nonchalant, "Well kiddo, Misa-chan here is running a third of what is going on here. She's a busy woman." She was a busy woman who frantically sobbed the night before in his arms. As she told him, she had gotten a late report about a man executed in Brown sector. As per Fuyutski's instructions, the crew watching the security camera's was to be reviewed whenever a Brown incident occurred. It was to insure that they suspected nothing, Brown was a secret known only to the three men that operated the room and the command staff. According to Misato, Asuka had filled Shinji in on the 'conspiracy theory,' and now his beloved pseudo-wife was waiting Shinji's questions with dread.

Sliding her hands between Shinji and Kaji, Asuka thrust the two men apart. "That's bullshit and you know it. The day Shinji got back she was all over him all day. And now that he has something to ask her, she suddenly is miss-in-demand?" After the second day of Shinji's pouting about not talking to Misato, Asuka demanded he tell her. Her argument was compelling enough, she had told him her horrible secret, why did he get to keep his own. _I bet the whore had that nurse killed! Even after saving Shinji's life. This place is evil. _Asuka's arm snaked around Shinji's and met at the palm.

Panicking, Misato frantically scanned the room for something she could use to postpone the inevitable. If she lost Shinji due to things she had to do but didn't agree with, she ventured she might as well put a bullet in her brain. No reason living if the only thing she did was hurt those she cared about. Finding Ritsuko heading to the pulpit at center of the command box, "Ritsuko's about to start the meeting, we can talk about this after alright?"

As Shinji opened his mouth to agree, he was always eager to please Misato Asuka learned, the firebrand preempted him, "No it is not alright. The only damn thing he is asking you is to say 'yes' or 'no' to meeting with him…with us after this." Asuka was not going to let the whore off the line, and secretly hoped that whatever Misato said broke the siren's hold she had over Shinji.

Squeezing Kaji's hand so tight she feared she'd break his fingers, Misato fought against a neigh insurmountable urge to cry. "Sure I can give Shin-chan a few minutes of my time, but I do believe that means you have time to meet with Fuyutski too then doesn't it?" The cagy old man had been requesting time to talk to Asuka for the last week. Misato suspected it had something to do with the little romance brewing between pilot and ex-pilot, but Asuka kept putting it off saying 'she had no time.'

Alternating between the back of Ayanami's head and Misato, Asuka weighed her options. The sick bitch would make Shinji help her, a redeeming quality in her beau but annoying to no end to accept. Or Asuka could be selfish and tell Misato to fuck-off and then Shinji would never get his question answered. Sighing heavily, "Tell the old coot I'll meet with him."

"Asuka?" Shinji gaped at his girlfriend. She had told him time and time again how she wasn't going to 'let the old bastard try and force me into anything.' Having the overwhelming urge to kiss her for her making a sacrifice for him, Shinji contained himself. It was more proof that what Asuka said in public had no real bearing on her heart. Holding her hand tighter, allowing the girl to maintain her image of defiance and strength in front of her 'enemies', Shinji tried to convey his feelings with facial expressions.

Reading her man like a book, Asuka lunched in quickly and placed a three second kiss on the dazed boy. For all his faults, Asuka cherished the fact Shinji knew her better than anybody else. She could be her normal 'bitch' self in public, and he'd know it was all a façade. Pulling back and giving him a 'wait till later' eye, Asuka threw her head back and smirked at Misato, "What? I can't let my man have some affection in public? You have no problem doing the same."

Mollified, Misato was about to grab the impertinent little ingrate and drag her off to a room to inform her of all the rules Misato covered her for, but static from the microphone turning on interrupted her. NOW Ritsuko was going to start, couldn't have done that a few moments ago and saved her a lot of potential agony. The tired woman prayed that Asuka actually cared for Shinji and it wasn't just an act to piss her off. But her retort would have to wait until after the meeting, and maybe her little talk with Shinji could benefit her as well.

"Attention, Attention, we'd like to get this meeting started and over as quickly as possible today," Ritsuko announced to the seventy plus fellow survivors that opted to show up. It was a third of the base, but with mandatory patrols and guards and many either sleeping or preparing for their shift, it was well with acceptable parameters. "I'll start off with a current status of our objectives, and then open the floor for a few questions," and it was the questions that made the bottle blond the most worried.

Clearing her throat, Ritsuko launched right into the discussion as the sooner she ended the sooner she could get back to her work. "The work of bringing in food, supplies, and recreational devices has continued to run fairly smoothly. Only two reported deaths have been registered as casualties. Efforts to contact other military or government institutions however continue to fail. At this point we continue to assume they are not offering assistance to anybody." Or, as her darker side liked to think, they were too stupid to survive and had already joined the throng of things.

Prattling on for another five minutes over quantity of various supply types, new or changed rules, and a few birthday and upcoming weddings, Ritsuko's throat was sore. "Now with all of that finished, I open the floor for any of you to ask a question to us," she gestured to the other two members of the ruling board as Misato and Kozo stepped forward. Ritsuko was stunned, though she hid it well, that Fuyutski had shown up as the man hadn't been present when she started.

Tessa Sagara raised her tiny hand first, "I have heard a rumor that suppressants are being added to the food to prevent pregnancy. Is that true?" With her husband at her side, Tessa was hoping to start a family despite the changed world. To the young couple, everything would be for nothing unless the world repopulated.

Kozo stepped up to the mic to answer, "As much as I'd like to prevent the addition of mouths to feed for now, it would be impossible to do such a thing as that." A total lie and all four leaders knew it. Kaji had been put in charge of insuring enough materials came in that could be used to lower the chances of conception. It wasn't the food, but the water that was causing the lack of pregnancies. "Next question?" he asked aloud as Tessa stepped back smiling.

Shigeru was next to raise his hand. "Maybe you mentioned this before and I simply wasn't here for it, but why haven't we opened the base up to the outside GeoFront. Not the part that goes to the city, but the woodland in the underground dome? We could plant some vegetables, maybe let in a few more people, and just being able to leave the base would relieve some of the stress we have building." A rousing sound of agreement met his question from his fellow followers.

It was Misato's turn to squash people's hopes. Rubbing her temple, "Yes we did address this before, and the problem as gotten worse since then. We cannot go to the subterranean area outside the base because it has been compromised. At the onset of the disaster, after Nerv officially closed our doors to civilians, some idiot got it into their head to charge the loading dock with a semi. Fool didn't realize we have an escalator for vehicles and after breaking down the doors he crashed and destroyed the controls for the lift. As such we have no idea how many of those things let alone raiders are out in that area."

Not to be put off so quickly, Keiichi followed Shigeru's lead. "Have you at least checked it with the outside cameras? If it's just those things, we can set up some type of barricade or something. Being trapped in the base is almost like being a prisoner!" Getting a lot of head bobs and claps, Keiichi felt as if he contributed to the cause.

Taking the microphone from Misato, Ritsuko tried not to groan over the mic but wasn't successful. "I assure you, we have been keeping track of the area outside the base. Right now it is crawling with those things, and the power cable for the Eva's was destroyed by the truck. We can't risk them running out of power clearing the area, because we'd never be able to get it back in if it did happen. As for setting up a fence of some kind, we have started gathering materials, but it will be a long time before we have enough to make a large enough enclosure to matter." Same questions over and over again, just with different wording. 'We want everything back to normal! Make it the way it was!' Ritsuko was getting sick of it.

Several more questions were posed, one relating to the option to swap shifts with others, requesting new rooms, and a question that concerned Misato about the pilots was asked. All of them were deferred to Kaji. The suave man concluded with, "If there are no more questions, I think that about raps it up for this little session. Everybody stay safe, follow the rules, and let's survive this thing!" His cheer was garnered by the others below him who rallied behind the drive to live. It sounded hollow to the spy somehow.

As the crowd started to disperse, Kozo's bony hand latched onto Asuka's right shoulder. "Well my dear, I think that you and I are going to have a little chat now, correct?" He kept his tone neutral, borderline pleasant, but his eyes her hard lined and accusatory.

"Only if her royal bitch talks to Shinji right now too," Asuka shot off. She wasn't about to likely be threatened only to have Misato weasel out of her side of the deal. "It's both or nothing," she reluctantly freed her hand from Shinji's as she took a few steps towards Misato. Asuka could smell the reluctance and fear ebbing from the woman.

Kaji's hand on her back, Misato gave her best fake smile, "I wasn't about to back out on a chat with my favorite little pilot. I've been meaning to talk to you for some time little man," Misato pinched Shinji's cheeks garnering a smile. "Now is as good of time as any. We can talk in the mess over some late breakfast, while you two talk wherever," Misato just hoped Asuka didn't say or do anything stupid enough to warrant expulsion.

With Misato's hands on his back pushing towards the exit, Shinji offered Asuka a weak smile, "See you later." He'd have to do something special to repay Asuka for her sacrifice, and he had a good idea about how. Last few nights the pair had gotten close to breaking that one final line, but Shinji always pulled back in fear of upsetting the sleeping albino. Tonight he would offer her earplugs.

Watching Misato's back, she obscured Shinji, and a few steps behind her walked Ayanami, Asuka gritted her teeth and turned to the sick looking old man. "Well let's get this started so I can get the hell away from you." If she knew how skilled a strategist Fuyutski was, Asuka wouldn't have taken him so lightly.

X-X

Sipping on a mug of black coffee, Misato longed for the days she started her mornings with a can of beer. Wrangling herself in her hard plastic seat, "So how are things going between your favorite and mine German?" She could hope to steer the conversation, make it light and happy. Lord knows she wanted it to be, needed Shinji to respect her and not think of her as a murderer. Shinji was for all intensive purposes now her child, and she would care for him as such. "I'm not going to have to get you moved into a separate room am I?" she loved that blush of his.

Never one to like the artificial orange juice, Shinji gagged it down to help give him time to suppress his embarrassment. "It's going really well between us. She's teaching me a few new card games, and I've been informing her of some of the better books I've been reading. She generally follows my suggestions but gets them finished in a quarter of the time." What irked Shinji was how she understood the symbolism far better than he did.

"I will confirm that to this moment, the two of them have done nothing to warrant a separation based on sex," Rei piped in over a glass of water. Her health continued to make her lethargic and tired, but with Shinji's support and tentative nature it wasn't nearly as bad as before his return. "From my observation, the closest they have come to physical intimacy was to touch the others reproductive organs," she broke into a tiny cough after that and wiped the yellow discharge in a napkin.

Eyes going wide, Misato leaned back and slapped the table with a raucous laugh, "My little man hit a triple?!" And she really had been expecting the two to have already crossed the line. With so little to do, and so much to be afraid of, Misato had fully expected Shinji to be a man. "I should request the cook make red beans and rice for supper today," she pulled Shinji in with one arm.

His face about to burst, Shinji doggedly broke free of Misato's embrace and desperately tried to not scream at Rei. The tiny four sided table, Misato to his side and Rei across from him, seemed infinitely smaller. "You're not upset with us, are you Misato-san? I-I mean if it's wrong for us to be doing that I guess…guess we could stop?" But he didn't want to though. He reveled in the time he spent with Asuka like that. He felt good, and was making her feel good, it was win win. And the emotional bond exploded after that first shaky time.

Shaking her head, Misato felt proud of Shinji, despite how a traditional mother would have felt. "No, Shinji, I'm not upset with you. Glad you're not rushing things even faster, I should say." Letting out a belch, Misato bit into her bagel and nodded. Spitting out bits of baked good, "I won't lie and say I'm happy, but I'm glad you admit it and didn't try to hide it from me. Just don't go to fast, and keep little miss Ayanami's feelings in mind before you do anything…to noisy. She might feel jealous"

"MISATO-SAN!" Shinji yelped at the accusation and concept. He really had been mindful of his friend, and Ayanami reciprocated in kind. Due to the loss of his father, and her commander, the pair just seemed to complete one another. Not in a romantic way, but something transcending that. "I wouldn't tease Ayanami like that! The two of us are…well we're…" he didn't have a good enough vocabulary to think of a word to define their relationship.

Tossing a snot filled tissue in the nearby garbage, Rei's skin felt flush and her vision swam again. "I am not Ikari-kun's lover. Though I fail to see what the issue would be if I did become one of them," Rei swallowed snot in building in the back of her throat. Rubbing her neck as her esophagus burnt in lovely pain, Rei wanted to sleep again.

Catching the horrified expression on Misato's face, Shinji waved it off. "Ayanami-san isn't well versed in relationship knowledge Misato-san." Sometimes the girl just said the strangest things, Shinji wondered if she had any real knowledge of human relations at all. Often he'd have to act as firefighter to put out any blazes Rei's comments created in Asuka. "Ayanami doesn't know that a relationship like Asuka and mine…and Kaji-san and you...are just between one man and one woman." His smile regarding Misato's own happiness eased her concern.

"But Commander Ikari had sexual relations with many woman in a period of time," Rei said offhanded. "Akagi-san, your mother, Akagi-san, Hidoshi from the UN, and Takagi from special division," Rei rattled them off as she twirled the glass of water and was mystified by the twirling liquid.

Had Misato been holding her cup it would have fallen, "Ayanami, what are you talking about?" Had she heard the pale girl right? The bastard commander had been boffing women left and right? And her best girlfriend was among the number of the man's conquests? "And why did you say Ritsuko's name twice?" she couldn't have been saying Gendo did this all in one day, because Ritsuko was so young when Yui died. Unconsciously, her mother instinct made her hand reach out for Shinji's.

"I was referring to the elder Akagi first, Ritsuko-san's mother," Rei corrected as the sweat started to pool around her. The world pitched and waved as if semi-liquid. Nothing was concrete, and the only thing she knew for sure was the bells she heard were fantastic. "And I was referring to the number of women that the commander took to his bed or in the helicopter," she had overheard the man with his current lay several times when she came for meetings.

His body trembling slightly at the news that his father was more than a little unfaithful, Shinji wished he had known Rei to lie. He wanted more than anything to think the things he heard were lies, and that Rei wasn't on some level thinking he was like his father. "Ayanami, why are you saying these things to us?" why had she kept it a secret for so long just to drop the information bomb now?

Rei just sat there for a moment and stared at Shinji's face. Tracing the contours and etching them into her memory. "Say what things?" she asked genuinely confused at what he had said. Wasn't she just thinking those things about the commander?

Disgust worming its way into her features, Misato numbly responded, "No, Ayanami, you were telling us about the commanders many bedmates." How had Ritsuko let that old man touch her!? He had been a cold and unfeeling man that abandoned his own son, and she fucked him! Not only did she sleep with the bastard, but she never said a thing about it to her best friend. "You're not telling us a story are you?" it would be a first, but Misato could hope.

Getting out of her chair quickly, Rei took two backward steps away from the concerned two. "I require rest," was all she said before spinning on her heels and making a hasty retreat with one of the guards following at a respectable distance. _I divulged classified information without even realizing it. I must be far more ill than I believed. _Her breathing pitched as she waved off the pilot wing guards, and collapsed on her bed. She was sleeping within moments.

Back in the mess hall, Misato and Shinji shared an awkward silence. Neither knew what to say in light of Rei's little detail about not only the commander, but maybe her thoughts on the whole Shinji/Asuka issue. Both doubted Rei was thinking Shinji would take after his old man and have both women at his beck and call, it was more a eye opener for Shinji about his father, and Misato to learn unwanted details about Ritsuko.

But as much as Misato would have liked the silence to remain unbroken, Shinji finally got his question in. "Misato-san, Asuka told me some strange things about Brown Sector. She said you trick dangerous people into it and have them killed." He couldn't met her gaze, it was akin to a child asking his mother if she was a murderer, but Shinji owed it to the heroic woman that saved him to find out the truth. "You send Kyoshi-san to Brown…you didn't kill her did you?"

She had rehearsed this talk in her mind over and over again ever since she watched the tape of that damn redhead telling Shinji about Brown. Should she lie, tell the truth, or a modified version of it. She weighed how he would react to each option she had, how he would change in regard to Nerv and to her. "Shinji, Asuka is half right about Brown. We do have the people that are more a risk in to be dealt with."

"You kill people that try to force their way in," Shinji said softly to protect Misato's secret. He wanted to say it was a travesty to do such, but Shinji replaced the outdoor guards with Asuka and Misato and suddenly he found it an acceptable practice. "I guess keeping us safe is important, but what about Kyoshi? She didn't do anything wrong, she saved my life."

Swallowing hard, Misato drank a heavy drought of her coffee, "I said it before, Shinji." She smiled her best smile at him, "Do I look like some kind of monster that would kill the woman that saved you?" She felt sick.

Getting out of his chair, Shinji hugged Misato with such sincerity as he could muster. "Sorry for doubting you, Misato-san. It's just I haven't seen her around, and then Asuka told me what she found out about Brown. I'm sorry," he finished and tried to pull away from Misato only to find himself wrapped in her unrelenting arms.

Almost too soft to be heard, "You have nothing to be sorry for, Shinji-kun, nothing at all." She couldn't let him go yet, not until she got herself back under control. With him wrapped in her arms, she could lie to herself and say he was safe and protected. She could say that the worst was behind him. But knowing what she did, she felt like a hypocrite thinking he was safe in her arms.

X-X

Almost stomping into Gendo's old office, Asuka was on guard for anything the old man had planned for her, at least she thought. "So why don't we get right to this shit. You don't want me talking with Shinji, because I'm a bad influence on him. Right?" It was painfully obvious those in power feared that Asuka would pull one of the two pilots away from blind servitude. As she had stopped piloting because she had disgusted with her actions and her sins, she could get Shinji to stop as well. "Afraid I'll open his eyes to what is going on around here?"

Fuyutski threw Asuka off her game instantly by agreeing completely with her. "Yes, that is exactly how it is my dear. We need pilots, we need people to actually work and do their job now. If you would be so kind as to pull you head out of your spotless ass, you'd see that the world has changed," Kozo's tone never increased in volume. He spoke in a bored manner as he punched in several keys into a hidden pad. An elevator door opened and he stepped into it. "Do follow, you'll find the doors locked so you don't really have an option," he explained.

Her heart rate already increased, Asuka never took her eyes off the man. Stepping into the elevator, back pressed squarely to the wall, "So this is the part where you threaten me right?" Her voice was losing some of its intensity as she stepped deeper into the lion's den, "Tell me to leave him or you'll arrange an accident or have me pulled down to Brown? Don't you think he'd question it?" Shinji was far from the idiot she originally thought he was, the boy just hid behind his own walls as she did.

Inserting a key and pushing the lowest subbasement, Kozo grinned softly. "I hope it doesn't come to that. I can see the two of you are quite fond of one another. I'm just going to give you a series of options that you can choose from." Some were good and some were bad, it was all based on what Asuka was willing to give up. "I'll start with an opening offer. Become a pilot again and we can end this talk now and you can run off to the young Ikari."

A small part of her, a tiny microscopic spore of her, wanted to take Kozo up on his offer right then. Something was telling her that she was oblivious to what was to come, and should just accept defeat. _I'm already tainted, I couldn't get worse even if I piloted again! _But her pride won over, "How about you just make me leader here, and we can forget about all the little secrets I know."

Pulling another key from his pocket, Kozo sighed, it was as he expected. In the deepest bowels of Terminal dogma, Kozo stood on the door opposite the core of the dummy plug. Neither Akagi or himself had checked on the replacements in more than a month, they'd eventually pay for that. Sliding the key into the other room however, Kozo opened the door to a room only three other men lately had opened. "Step inside miss Soryu," he said gently.

Walking past the crafty man, her eyes never leaving his, Asuka was instantly hit with a musty and not wholly unpleasant smell. _Smells like Shinji did after we…_ Her warm feelings were instantly drained when she turned to see what Kozo had brought her down to see. "What the fuck is that?" she gasped out as she covered her mouth and back peddled to the wall.

"I do believe your eyes work properly don't they? You haven't suddenly been stricken blind have you?" Kozo shut the door and locked it. He slid his key back in his pocket, the other two were held by his secret police. The two men that arranged the accidents Kozo needed to keep the peace. "It is one of your possible fates," he elaborated.

Laying on a small medical bed appeared to be a fully nude Ayanami Rei. Her body covered in dried fluids, she didn't move or otherwise register the intrusion. She just took in ragged breath after ragged breath, her legs slowly almost robotically spread open.

Having seen Rei walk off with Shinji and Misato not twenty minutes before, Asuka had taken leave of her senses. "This is crazy! How can she be down here and up there? What have you done to her?" Asuka screamed. She knew what had happened, the girl had been ravaged so much she wasn't thinking! Not being a friend of Rei, Asuka was still moved to tears at the sight before her.

Sitting on the bed, Kozo's hand casually went to the girl's left breast and cupped it. "This is a clone, the forth actually. It doesn't have a soul either, just a meat puppet. And what she is, is relief for me and my two most trusted enforcers." At first it disgusted him, what he and those men did, but as time moved and the stress mounted, he found himself enjoying it more and more. "I brought you here to show you firsthand how far I'm willing to take things."

Her stomach loosened, Asuka feared she'd wet her pants. She had been ready for so much from this man, but never did she suspect the travesty she saw. "You're a sick fucker. Saying she doesn't have a soul is just a lie so you can do whatever perverse thing you want to her without conscious!"

Nodding lightly, "Maybe," Kozo didn't deny it. At the start the girl had talked, and questioned what was happening. But after more than a month of steady use, she was broken. "Now your options. One, you can rejoin the pilots ranks and if you play your cards right I'll arrange a separate room for Ikari-kun and yourself. Two- you continue to not pilot, but you don't cause me any trouble then you'll be removed from the pilots quarters and put into general public. Three – again not piloting but causing issues with Shinji will have you expelled from the base. And forth is you don't pilot and you try and convince others of what you saw here or other unacceptable treatment will warrant you a cot right alongside this her," Kozo flicked the clone's breast and stood up.

Inching her way towards the door, Asuka refused to take her hands away from her mouth lest she vomit. "Some choices I'm given. Pilot, die, or end up like her," she twitched her elbow at the body quivering on the cot. But she knew even if she tried to convince anybody, nobody would believe her. How could anybody believe a clone of a girl was hidden in a basement for the use of some sick old men? It was an elegantly simple trap. Closing her eyes, Asuka took the only option she felt she had, "I'll pilot, just get me out of this man room!"

Key already in hand, Kozo opened the door and gently ushered Asuka out before locking it again. "Now I'm sure you think I'm the devil or something else. But, you have to understand I'm only doing what is best to keep moral high and things on track." Gesturing to the room, "She really isn't a 'living thing' as we know it, so rather than keep the women that tried to get in, we use it. I don't want to threaten you, but if you make Ikari-kun stop piloting things could get catastrophic. I'm not proud of the roads I've taken, but we don't have another choice." And sadly he believed it.

Shrugging off the man's touch, it was cold and unnatural, Asuka took several broad steps away from him. "Just stay away from me, that is all I ask. No favors, no special rooms, no nothing! I won't tell anybody about the sick little game you're playing down here, but I do know it'll bite you on the ass before it's done." Briskly rapping on the elevator door, "more your old ass, so I don't have to look at it anymore."

Mentally smiling, Kozo maintained the façade of grim resolve. "I'm sorry it had to come to this, but all of us here at Nerv will thank you once you start piloting again," he had won and it was such an easy win. He'd have to keep her under surveillance for a while to make sure she didn't try and let the little secret out. But in the end it was so farfetched that nobody would believe her, and if she did make the mistake of trying a bed was already prepared for her. Once the elevator opened on the ground floor, "I'll inform Ritsuko that you've changed your mind about piloting."

Spitting on his floor, "Tell the crazy bitch whatever you want, I'm getting out of here." She felt sullied, and rattled, she wanted Shinji. Piloting was a symbol of her fall from grace, and to spare her life she just agreed to do it again. But given the options, Asuka took the easier.

X-X

"I don't know if this," Makoto whined as he slammed one of Shigeru's beers. The moment he came back from the meeting his buddy had dragged him off to his room. "I mean even if you did get her in here, how could you keep the two of them a secret?"

Waving his head savagely the degenerating man replied, "With so many people around, I won't have to. I just have to get the two of them in, get Momiji on the roster and everything will take care of itself!" All he needed was a door man to open the hatch and close it remotely as needed.

Waffling, Makoto wasn't willing to risk being evicted for no reason. "Aren't the doors set up to sound an alarm when they open? I can't bypass that without somebody realizing it was me. And…no offence…risking my life for your girlfriend who might be dead already doesn't sound good to me." Never did he ever hear this girl talk when he was on the radio room, and he tried to raise her.

Sliding up close to his friend, Shigeru was expecting this and had already garnered his resolve. "What if I told you, that if you help me, I'll make sure something happens to Kaji-kun?" he laced his words with as much possibility as he could. "Imagine how your beloved Misato would take the loss, and then you come in to the rescue," and as much as it sounded impossible Shigeru did think Misato gave his geeky friend a passing chance.

Having talked to some of the other women on base, and having more than one sound like a potential, Makoto wasn't so sure. "I don't know man…yeah I liked Misato but I'm not sure if it's like or lust. I mean I've been talking with Miaka from the guard squad and…" she was a nice enough girl and even shared his hobbies. Miaka made him feel as if his affections for Misato were more akin to puppy love than anything real.

Snorting, Shigeru went for the hard sell, "So you're just going to give up? I mean Miaka is an ok person, but Misato is a grade A++. I saw how she looked at you before that Kaji guy showed up. She was two steps from being at your place." With the rumors he heard about Misato, Shigeru was still thinking he was telling the truth. The at-the-time captain didn't have the rosiest of histories. Seeing that damn look of reluctance, Shigeru threw out pretence, "Ok…how about this? You do it for me because you're my friend and the woman I love and her child might die if you don't."

Head hung low, Makoto couldn't refute how his buddy cared. He had heard time and time again how much Shigeru loved Momiji and her daughter. "What do you need me to do?" he asked after reversing the situation. If it was his girlfriend out in those killer streets and he had a plan to get her in, he'd be doing exactly what Shigeru was doing. "I won't do anything to hurt somebody, just forget about that kind of shit," he amended.

His face split in two with how happy he was. "No worries about that, I have everything covered already. I just don't have somebody on the inside to get the door for me." Pulling a blueprint of the base out from his pocket, he unfolded the well worn piece of paper. "See this door, Utility access junction A-10, its alarm runs on the same circuit as the internal alarm. Sometime in the next day or two you'll open the door for me once the alarm is going off."

"The next practice isn't for two days…are you expecting something to be more on spontaneous," Makoto couldn't shake the dark feelings growing. Everybody knew of the weekly alarm tests, but if Shigeru was hoping for anything sooner, he'd have to stage something. "If somebody gets hurt during this, you can fully expect all of us to be kicked out."

Nodding in agreement, Shigeru folded up this treasured blueprint. "I agree. And I'm expecting to use the weekly drill, but if something DOES happen before then I want you ready. All you do is go to one of the unused command stations and open the door. With the alarm going off already nobody will detect it. I'll get them and bring them back to the door, and then I'll just walk in the front gate and let them in. You just have to open the door remotely for me, that's all. And if you ever do decide to go for Misato…I'll help you."

Shaking the glowing man's hand, Makoto didn't know he was sealing death warrants. "Just be careful. We can't risk any of those things getting inside the base," he said low as he got up to leave. Waving the dark feeling of incoming death aside, Makoto headed over to see what Miaka was up to.

X-X

Author notes

Setting the stage…I'm sure you can make a few predictions which are right by this time…its just a matter of what pattern the dominos fall.

Ja mata

zentrodie


	6. Chapter 6

Standard Disclaimer

Ok…my old computer died and I'm on my new one so the dictionary is fresh. That means some of the names might be off a bit. I apologize about that, but not like I can do 'much' about it. I'll try and catch all my mistakes

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 6

Watching Asuka's face as she sat in the entry plug, Shinji was doing his best to listen to Misato and Ritsuko talk. While part of the boy wanted to know more about his father and the doctor's life, he was primarily concerned for the firebrand under going the test. She was his woman now, and he was a man. The first time for both of them had been short, unpleasant, and mostly embarrassing. The second however had been something to remember, and Shinji had the sneaking suspicion that they had woken Rei up.

"Shinji, I know she's pretty and that you like her, but I really need you to help me here," Misato patted the boy's shoulder. The two's actions when she went to get them told Misato everything she needed to know. Her boy had crossed over the final line into adulthood. Her hope had been that under the combined verbal assault Ritsuko would relent and offer up some information. Shinji now, however, was fixated more on Asuka than before. Turning back to Ritsuko she asked, "So any progress on those things?"

Laughing shallowly, Ritsuko's eye twitched unnoticed, "Progress? I've gone off the idea of progress, Misato. With every sample I have already so far deteriorated, I can't learn anything else." What she needed was a fresh body, one just recently dead! If she could watch the process of death and reanimation, then maybe she'd notice something. Flipping the microphone on, "Asuka, I know this is 'new' to you, but you HAVE to CONCENTRATE! We'll be here all day otherwise!"

Opening her eyes, Asuka was pleased to see Shinji's concerned face adjacent to Ritsuko's. "Why should I care if I'm here all day? This is my job now, so why shouldn't I take as much time as I need," she jabbed back. The hypocrites were always telling her she had to pilot again to be of value, and now that she was she was going to remind them of it ad nauseum. Offering Shinji a quick smile, "Don't look so upset, idiot, I'm fine," she winked and then resumed trying to focus. Her mind was just as jumbled as Shinji's over her quick yet enjoyed tastes of adult pleasure.

Turning off Shinji's monitor, she had been half using it as well, Misato gave Shinji a stern look. "Asuka has a point, Ritsuko. Her role now is to assist in the piloting with Ayanami and Shinji. You're job is to insure she can do that, and since you've just admitted to being done with those things, what else do you have to do?" This wasn't good, she was putting Ritsuko into a deeper and deeper defensive position. Nudging Shinji, she prayed the boy got over his recent discovery of sex to help her.

"Akagi-san," Shinji caught on, "Can I ask you a question…a personal question?" With Asuka out of sight, he regretfully remembered what Misato had wanted. Glad Rei was back in the room sleeping, Shinji wasn't nearly mentally prepared enough to learn the full truths about his father.

Slamming the last of her cold bitter coffee, Ritsuko wanted nothing more than for the doting mother and her teat suckling brat to leave. "First off I am not finished studying those bastards, I just need fresher bodies, and go ahead Shinji-kun fire away," nothing the boy said would be of consequence. He was to docile and passive to ever ask her anything that she'd need be concerned about.

Taking a deep breath, Shinji put his hand to his chest and felt his heart pulsating. Why was this so hard? He didn't care about his father anymore, had stopped thinking of the man a long time ago, but here he was anxious and frazzled about the crafty bastard. "Were you sleeping with my father before he died?" it would have explained how she took Gendo's death harder than he did.

The baleful glare was aimed at Misato and not the messenger, Ritsuko sucked in her breath from the unexpected bomb that was dropped. _That bitch used him to ask it because she couldn't do it herself! _Coughing lightly to stall, Ritsuko eventually admitted, "Y-yes, Shinji-kun, your father and I were in something of a complex relationship." She was little more than his plaything, but at the time she thought he loved her. With him taking the cowards way out, Ritsuko thought back with regret.

"Why did you never tell me this, Ritsuko? I, we," Misato found her arms wrapping around Shinji as she pulled his back against her, "had to learn this from Ayanami." Misato could see the sorrow bubbling to the surface of her friend, but sadness over what Misato could only guess. "If you had feelings for him, why I don't know, but if you did you should have said something after he died. Somebody should be there for you," Misato tried to sound sympathetic and friendly.

Scoffing, Ritsuko wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "Oh get off your soapbox Misato. I know you're just upset that I didn't tell you something. You're friend kept a secret from you, and you can't stand secrets." Misato was just like Kaji, Ritsuko loved that irony. Her 'friends' were just using her for her mind, just like Gendo had done. "Yes I loved your father, Shinji. But no he didn't love me. He just fucked me and hit me when he couldn't do the same to somebody else. I know that now. So I don't care that he's dead."

Oddly, Shinji just nodded, "Neither do I," he admitted. Misato was holding him tighter, her warmth was stifling, but he'd let her continue to hug him. He knew a lot of Misato's actions were twofold. Part for her, and part for the other party. Just like this whole question answer session was to allow him to learn the truth about his father, not that he wanted to know, and to let Misato learn it to. "I think at some point I might have cared about this…about the true between you and him. But not anymore, not after everything that's been happening," he said and felt Misato's shock as she jumped against him ever so slightly.

Favoring the boy with a true smile, Ritsuko believed him. "Good for you kid, you learn fast. People just use you, as they use me, and its best to just get what you can from it before they toss you away," as she spoke, Ritsuko's gaze never left Misato's. She could tell Misato's feelings for Shinji ran deep, motherly, and that word was one full of hate for the bottle blond. "As your dear bitch is about finished for now, I'll give you a parting tidbit of information Shinji. Did Misato ever tell you the truth about Brown?" It was time to repay her 'dear old friend' for the sudden guilt trip.

Shinji's body went ridged against hers, but Misato showed no fear. "I told him yesterday, Ritsuko. And he accepted the necessity of it." She just was a little sketchy on the details, but if that's what it took she was willing. "Now which of the pilots is going out today?" she offered an expression over Shinji's head that promised incalculable pain if the doctor pressed.

"I-I'll go out today, Ayanami went last time and she looked really pale this morning so I wouldn't want her to," Shinji offered. He had checked on the albino after Asuka had left the room, and didn't like what he saw. She was almost chalk white and sweating heavily, her eyes sunken and hallow, but she did offer him a very brief upturn lip when he offered to bring her some breakfast. "I really think you should give her a check up," he added weakly.

Flipping the intercom back on, "You're done Asuka, but your punishment for wasting my time is you're up for cleaning duty today." Ritsuko ruffled Shinji's hair more to spite Misato than to praise the boy for his selflessness. "Ayanami has always been sickly, Shinji. I'll check on her later, after I finish today's experiment." She wasn't going to waste time on Ayanami at all! If the clone died, she'd pull out another and that one wouldn't be subject to whatever illness befell the current.

"SHINJI GET ME A TOWEL!" Asuka yelled from the hatch to her test plug. Just being in LCL again reawakened both her pride in being a pilot and her shame in her sin. It was her disgust that won, and the girl wanted to be free of the muck as soon as humanly possible. _And the crazy bitch is already putting me back out in the mix of things. _Asuka didn't care though, she made her deal and she'd abide by it.

Dejected that he couldn't prolong Asuka's soiree with the mighty Unit-02, Shinji did sprint out Misato's clutches to make good on what he could do for her. "I'm coming!" he yelled and blushed heavily as Misato started laughing.

X-X

Staring at the monitors was boring when nothing was happening, Makoto thought. Occasionally, and if his second was a man, he'd switch to an indoor feed and hunt for something interesting to watch. But as luck would have it, today he was sitting in a tiny hot room with one Maya Ibuki. While he had been 'friendly' with Maya in the past, he had to admit she wasn't really a friend. Especially now that Maya was officially Ritsuko's pet, everybody gave the marked woman a wide birth. "So how are things in Frankenstein's laboratory?"

Her eyes wandering from body to body, Maya was starting to understanding Ritsuko wasn't joking about how fear made people horny. "She's not as bad as people say she is. Akagi is just very stressed out is all," Maya hid her yawn behind her hand. Truth be told, she was terrified of Ritsuko after the frazzled woman held the scalpel and pointed it at her. But she wasn't going to make matters worse. "Asuka is really making things bad for her too, thank goodness the girl is piloting again," Maya hoped that would ease the tension.

"Don't know why she wouldn't want to, it's safer than being out in the retrieval groups," he couldn't mask his aggravation. How that girl had gotten so many special privileges and perks for doing nothing but annoy everybody was a topic of heated debate. "And are you sure nothing spooky is going on with Akagi? Rumor has it she's been chewing up her precious specimens," he prodded Maya with his elbow.

Whether Makoto was always this attractive or it was just her hormones, Maya didn't know let alone care. "Well she does talk to herself a lot, and the Magi about how things aren't going well. But she's only one person so I don't know why she's expecting so much of herself," Maya admitted. She had walked in on Ritsuko calling the computer 'mother' only to learn the truth behind the super computers AI algorithms. Wanting to switch away from her own private circle of hell, "What about Shigeru and you? Rumors are going on about you two."

Finding a monitor which showed Misato and Shinji walked down a hall, Makoto felt a tiny pang of jealousy. "No I haven't heard that, what are they saying? Either we're gay or one of us is crazy," he tittered a little. "I swear all the rumors now any more is 'x is screwing y' or 'z is crazy'," he shook his head. Oh how he craved the good old days.

Nodding with a knowing expression, Maya agreed with the statement. "Yeah, times are different and that's all we seem to care about anymore. Who is crazy and who can we have a go with," she almost asked if he wanted one right then. Her neighboring cell at night had not gotten any quieter, in fact gotten more open about their nightly play that Maya was started to hate them. "Anyway," she shook her head to keep her face from getting flush, "this one is more about Shigeru. People say he's cracking. That he's dangerous to be around."

Having seen first hand his friend's shift in attitude, Makoto wasn't so quick to squash the rumor. "He's just tense. With his girlfriend and her child being turned away at the gates, I think he's angry at Nerv," a fact Makoto couldn't refute. Anybody would be mad to have friends and family turned away to certain death. "I don't think he's close to a break, but I honestly think he needs to get laid or he'll get worse," as he spoke he thought that he'd check with Miaka after his shift.

"That's good to know, you two are my friends and I'd hate to see anything happen to you," Maya pulled away from the man. Her hand had come dangerously close to grabbing his thigh before she got a hold of herself. _I'm being stupid! I can't let my stupid hormones make me do something I'll regret._ But the notion had been in her mind all the time, like most other survivors, and it was a hard siren call to ignore. Taking a deep calming breath she exhaled heavily, "Think I'm going to take off early if you don't mind. I feel like a nap."

Nodding and reaching for the knob by the screen, "You do have some deep circles under your eyes. Take it easy," he added with a wave. Waiting for the door to close, he switched through the screens and found the camera in one of the store rooms. "Whow! Guess the rumor about those two kids screwing wasn't a lie," he let out a whistle as he watched Shinji behind Asuka as she held onto a box. "Wish these things had sound," he quipped and continued to watch the teenagers in the throws of lust.

X-X

"Kaji-san! Misato said you wanted to talk to me?" Shinji called out to his surrogate mother's lover. His body was still tingling from the after affects of Asuka's affection, but he had showered after. It had been spontaneous, but everything with Asuka was Shinji learned. After she had cleaned up from her test she pulled him into an unused storeroom, stripped, and he took her from behind. "And I don't want to sound rude, but Asuka is going to sortie in about twenty minutes and I wanted to see her off," he said bashfully.

The slight sting of regret had bitten the man after hearing from Misato that Asuka had given her virginity away, as any father would, and made him want to talk face to face with the boy. "I'll make sure I don't keep you to long, Shinji," Kaji leaned against the wall by the soda machine and slapped it hoping Shinji would do the same. The hall was empty, it was why he chose it, so Kaji didn't have to keep his words in check. "Misato told me that Asuka and you have started having sex," he had wanted to sound proud but it came out accusing. Misato's feelings for Shinji were her own, Kaji sided more with Asuka.

Nodding and scratching at his nose, Shinji had suspected somebody along the line wouldn't be happy with the change in Asuka's stance on boys. "I didn't force her, Kaji-san. It was her decision, and I'll never hurt her," he could already tell Kaji didn't buy it or like the news. The mere notion that he could get Asuka to do anything she didn't want to though was laughable. Asuka wore the pants in the relationship, and Shinji wasn't about to ask for them.

Oh how he wanted to believe otherwise. Kaji could tell just by Shinji's personality and past that the boy was telling the truth. But if Shinji HAD been lying, it would have allowed his anger more justification. "I know you wouldn't, Shinji-kun. You're a good kid, and I guess I just have to accept that Asuka is her own woman and capable of her own decisions," his regret intoned in every word. "I guess I should ask if you have any questions about…anything," not that he wanted to answer them.

Not having Kaji's aversion or favoritism, Shinji found the man a welcome fake father. "Well…we haven't been using protection. And Asuka says she doesn't want me to…to…um…" his face was blazing red, but it felt queerly nice to be talking about his concerns with somebody who knew the answers.

"She doesn't want you to make a mess on her," Kaji finished with as much tact as he could manage. Despite his feelings on the matter of that little girl having sex, he started laughing at her personality. Even in lovemaking the girl worried about things such as appearance and control. _She won't let Shinji pull out because he'd shoot it all over her and make her smell bad. _It was so like the girl that Kaji couldn't feel anything but humor over it. Watching Shinji nod, Kaji was going to pass the nervous boy a bone, "You don't have to worry about her getting pregnant Shinji. Keep it a secret from the others, but an additive has been put in the water to prevent any unwanted pregnancies."

Sighing profoundly, Shinji's heart stopped jack hammering in his chest. "Good, I don't want to be a father, and I'm pretty sure Asuka doesn't want to be a mother," that much was clear based on her many tirades about how much she hated children. Checking his watch, he only had a five minute window to get moving or he'd miss Asuka's departure. "Was there anything else Kaji-san, because I'm running out of time," he didn't try and sound pensive.

Shoving Shinji lightly, Kaji favored him with an honest expression of pride. "Get out of here and see to that girl of ours. But realize if you make her sad you'll have to answer to me after you answer to her," and if Shinji survived Asuka he'd be soft enough for Kaji to chuck him out the nearest door. _I never thought I'd live to see the day where that girl stopped clinging to my leg and was off with boys. I feel old._ "I'll check in with her after she gets back…maybe I can try and make amends between us," he mused as he pulled out a purloined cigarette. Unfortunately he'd never get the chance.

X-X

"Tell Ayanami to hurry up, I'm not waiting all day," Asuka parroted with disgust as she stepped into the women's changing room. Her latest tour of duty had been easy yet hard. Far more of those things were at the gate than she remembered in the past, but no humans at all. She kept her cool and ended her task easily enough, and her dutiful boyfriend had seen her off and welcomed her back just as she had for him. She told him to wait for her in the mess hall and have food waiting for her. Calling aloud, "Ayanami get your ass moving! Akagi wants to get your test done now!" why the girl got off easy because she had a small case of the sniffles pissed Asuka off to no end.

Sitting down in front of her locker, plugsuit still on tightly, Asuka's hand ended up on her stomach. "I can't get pregnant, I don't have to worry about some spawn growing inside me right now," so why did that fact make her feel colder for some reason? It was easy to see why everybody had been so gung-ho in accepting sex as recreation at the base, Asuka reckoned. Shinji's first foray into her had been painful for her and almost instantaneous for him. But after that, after her body healed enough, she was all for it. It sure beat boredom or re-reading the same book over and over again. "Ayanami did you hear me?" she yelled again.

A faint shuffling was all Asuka heard, "Stupid mute. I swear she gets off on being quiet all the time." Opening her locker, Asuka pulled out her clothing and debated if she wanted to slap on her panties now or wait and see what the afternoon brought. "Stupid Shinji doesn't like doing it with her around, but she'll be testing for who knows how long," she smiled softly. Her smile turned wicked, "Fuck the bitch, let her hear how much we love it."

A white latex hand grabbed Asuka's shoulder, "Oh did you hear me, Wondergirl? Well I know he's to timid to say anything, but Shinji and I will be using the room so knock before you come in after your test, or I won't promise we won't use your bed." It was a delightfully evil idea to add insult to injury. Not only was the only teenager on base under her thumb, but Rei would have to witness it. Feeling the hand clench tighter, "Ouch Wondergirl, back off a little," Asuka yelled and tried to shrug off the hand.

When she couldn't get the first hand off and the second latched on just as tight, Asuka was through playing games. "Sorry if you're jealous bitch, but this isn't some romance story and I won't share," she bellowed and pulled forward as hard as she could. Breaking out of Rei's grasp, Asuka spun around fast and backhanded the girl with moderate strength. Her hand still extended, Asuka had expected Rei to take a step back or even fall down, not grab the offending arm.

That was when she noticed the unexpected expression of joy on Ayanami's face. "The fuck happened to you?" she asked before Rei quickly and savagely bit into her forearm. Screaming in pain, Asuka pulled disparately to free her arm from the attack. A sickening wet snap accompanied Asuka's freedom as Rei tore the flesh from the appendage. "S-stay back!" Asuka whimpered as she backed against the lockers and held her bleeding arm. The material of the suit and her arm had a dainty mouth mark on it where Rei had pierced it.

Giggling, the creature that used to be Ayanami Rei continued to press closer to its prey. Moving with such speed to make the tasty thing fall down in surprise, Diving on the prone body, its hands latched onto the shoulders and forced her down to the ground. Resisted all the way, the thing snapped and bit at the body below her.

"This isn't happening…this isn't happening…" Asuka frantically screamed. With her arm hurt and bleeding she could feel her strength waning. "SHINJI HELP ME!" she screamed hoping he hadn't listened to her order to get her something to eat. Hell she needed somebody, ANYBODY to hear, and as she saw Rei getting closer and closer she thought she heard footsteps approaching. "Ritsuko! RITSUKO GET THIS THING OFF ME!" Asuka screamed as Rei took a bite into her hand and almost stole a finger.

Drawing her gun, Ritsuko stood paralyzed at what she was seeing. She had come into ask why they two girls were wasting her time, only to find Rei trying to eat Asuka. Only Rei wasn't acting like one of the normal things, Rei was quicker, stronger, and more vicious than any of the others. Asuka's pleas went unanswered. Ritsuko just watched as slowly the mighty German's strength gave out and the thing finally got a lucky with one of its clawing swipes and slashed open Asuka's throat.

Moments later Asuka was gone as Rei's teeth finished the job. Her last thoughts were of the timid boy that successfully won a place in her heart.

Broken from the spell of strangeness at the tearing sound of Rei ripping into Asuka's plug suit, Ritsuko finally fired her gun. The bullet bounced off the things AT-Field. "Oh shit…her angelic DNA is…oh fuck," Ritsuko fired the rest of her clip at the creature dining on the once pristine flesh of one Asuka Langely Soryu. Each and every shot would have ended the creature's life had they not met with the hexagon barrier. Grabbing a fire extinguisher, Ritsuko went for the direct approach and found the AT Field didn't negate blunt force trauma, and caved in the creature's skull.

Dropping the gore slathered instrument to the ground with a mighty clang, Ritsuko backed away from the grotesque scene. Grabbing her walkie-talkie, "Get me a clean up detachment to the pilots changing area, Misato, and be quiet about it. We have…we have some troubles," her fear had prevented her from acting in time. Asuka was gone, and she could have saved her.

"But she just died…she just died and she hasn't changed yet…" Ritsuko's eyes widened with the possibility. After peeling Rei's body off, Ritsuko covered Asuka's body with her lab coat and lifted the girl into her arms. "Misato meet me in my lab after you and you most trusted…hell just you and Kaji should handle this…meet me in my lab after you finish." Knowing the patrol schedule and a back way into her lab, Ritsuko stole Asuka's body into her lab and restrained the body. "You'll be more use to me dead than alive," she said softly as she set up her instruments to review and record the events to come.

X-X

"What am I going to tell Shinji?" was the first thing out of Misato's lips after Ritsuko explained what happened. After heeding the frantic call and finding the dead body of the First Child, Misato and Kaji didn't like where things were headed. Getting to the doctor's office, Kaji almost walked away, but Misato's reassurances kept him from fleeing. "He's..he's so happy right now, and when I tell him…that not only is Asuka gone but Rei too? He'll be crushed!"

Kaji sat hunched over, eyes never leaving the sheet that masked Asuka's body. "I was going to try and start talking to her again, Misato. Make things better," her hand in his didn't feel warm at all, he hardly felt a thing. "And I won't stand by and let you butcher her, Ritsuko, that is to far. You…I won't let you turn her into one of those things," the weight of his gun was paramount. "I won't," he said again and shuddered.

Alternating between the two and Asuka's body, Ritsuko wondered how long it would take before the change started. If it happened when Kaji was in the room he'd kill it again before she learned anything. "We have bigger issues right now than just their deaths," Ritsuko was flat and emotionless. She hadn't mentioned the AT Field or the variations Rei exhibited from the standard creature, they didn't need to know. "We have to hide this from the general populous! If they find out we permanently lost two pilots we'll have mass panic!"

Cold and numb, Misato was almost dead to the world. "They were so young…HOW did it happen Ritsuko. How did Ayanami turn into one of those things? She wasn't bitten, she wasn't exposed to them…HOW!?" Ritsuko knew something and she was hiding it. Her friend was just full of secrets it seemed. When Kaji let go of her hand, she turned to him, "Kaji?"

"Why don't you tell her, Ritsuko? Why don't you tell Misato how we can replace Rei with another one? I know you're thinking about it," Kaji got to his feet and walked to Asuka's side. Drawing the sheet away from the girl's arm, Kaji took her hand and held it despite the unnatural chill. "I saw the tank during the power outage," he confessed. Misato would be livid with his apparent betrayal, but this had to be addressed now, or Asuka's death would be in vein.

Catching a beeping from her machines, Ritsuko looked for movement under the sheet. When none came, she rolled her eyes, "So you were the spy after all. No matter now, now that your masters are dead. And yes, we could bring out another Rei to replace the one that's dead. The question is how do we do it without alerting suspicion," Misato's face told Ritsuko that Kaji hadn't laid all the cards open for bare to her. "If we keep it a secret from Shinji, say Asuka died in an accident and Rei is being held in intensive care due to her sickness…"

"Shut the FUCK up! Both of you!" Misato snapped. Asuka had never been as close to her as Shinji was, but the girl was still worth more than the head service Ritsuko was giving. And the fact that Rei could be replaced was a damn lie to! The girl was dead, nothing could 'replace' her, and here these two were talking about the albino as if she was just a cog in a machine. "I'm telling Shinji what happened, he has the right to know about the truth behind Asuka's death. Not some lie. He has the right to know about Ayanami, she's his friend, I will not have you two lie to him!"

More sounds from her machines were chiming into the symphony, and Ritsuko wanted to listen. She had to get the pair out and fast. "Look, we can talk about this later when you're not so…emotional," Ritsuko almost said unstable, a better and more accurate term but Misato wouldn't have seen it that way. "Kaji can fill you in on the Rei situation, and I doubt he wants to be here for what I have to do to the little princess here," she tugged the sheet back over Asuka's arm.

That dead feeling was so familiar to him, that Kaji almost didn't register what Ritsuko was saying. He felt the same way he had after learning all his childhood friends had been killed. Everybody he cared about died, and the one little girl that made him feel like all the shit he'd done was worth something was laying under a fucking sheet. "Let's go Misato, I'll fill you in on what I've pieced together so far. We…we can discuss what we'll say to Shinji after," he reached out to Misato half expecting her to slap his hand away.

Having had her suspicions about Kaji's past, Misato wasn't half surprised that he knew more of Nerv's secrets than she did. Catching his fearful gaze, she accepted his hand and the pair left Ritsuko alone to do what she had to do. "Kaji, I just don't know what to say to him. He has to suspect something now, and this Ayanami business…I'm sure he'd notice a change," Misato thought it odd how Shinji and Rei meshed in the past, so she was sure he'd catch on to a switch.

Turning Misato around, Kaji gave the woman a sight she'd never seen before. "Can we worry about that…about him later?" he asked as tears started streaking down his face. He knew the boy would take Asuka's death heard, but not nearly as hard as he was taking it. Pulling the love of his life into a fierce hug, Kaji sobbed as Misato stood as the mute witness to his pain.

Gently rubbing his back, Misato knew her task now was to console Kaji and eventually do the same for Shinji. Maybe it would be better to try this whole Rei business over leaving Shinji permanently alone. She'd need to know more before committing to anything, and thinking was almost impossible due to her sorrow right now. "Let it out Kaji, let it out. She knew you cared about her, never doubt that," she shushed and made soothing sounds as she rocked the man in her arms. The typical pillar of unwavering strength had broken, and all it took was one teenager.

An hour later, after tracking him down heading towards the scene of the crime, Misato and Kaji told Shinji. He took it as Misato thought anybody would. First he denied it, saying they were joking. Kaji's broken confession that he wished it was a joke was the proof Shinji needed. It was Misato who caught Shinji as his body fell to the ground, his mind shutting down in a feint to prolong to sweet memory of the girl he loved. When he woke, Rei's bed vacant and Misato laying on his side, the woman lied and said Rei was sicker than expected and Ritsuko was watching over her.

X-X

Author notes

Yeah its dark. Stories like this are rarely happy. Only two or three more chapters to go though so…light at the end of the tunnel. And just to alleviate fears, no this won't turn into a Shinji/Rei story if that's what you're thinking.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	7. Chapter 7

Yeah I should be switching stuff up but the ideas for this one are fresh and I can see the goal line so I'm running.

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 7

Standing outside the 'pilots' room, Kaji's hand stalled just short of knocking. For two days he'd seen his would be wife smothering a teenager. He wanted to blame Shinji, but Kaji could see what was truly happening. Misato was using Shinji as a venue to vent her own sense of loss over Asuka. He saw that while Shinji hadn't said more than a handful of words since he heard the news of Asuka's death the boy was coping well. Misato, Kaji hated to admit, was still grieving. "She never could stand to lose anything," Kaji muttered before he finally tapped on the door.

The base could tell something was going on, the ex-spy bemoaned. The official word was Rei and Asuka were sick and being examined, but just something in the air was setting people off. So in one of the few moments Kaji could peel Misato away from Shinji, he told her of his plan. He'd gather as much food and ammo as he could and if things got bad they'd break into Terminal Dogma and hole up until the could make their escape. "You two decent in there?" Kaji called out hopefully in jest.

"Misato-san is still sleeping, Kaji-san," Shinji said softly. With Misato sprawled out on what had been Asuka's bed, Shinji was the unfortunate victim of Misato's unusual sleeping habits. On the first night, Shinji wouldn't have had it any other way. Misato's presence made him feel warm despite the sorrow he felt. But as time moved on, Shinji shut down the parts of himself that felt the pain, but Misato did not. And so Shinji let the woman 'comfort' him when in reality he was doing the supporting. "So be quiet or she'll be very angry with you," he added as he slowly started to climb out of her grip.

Opening and closing the door as softly as possible, Kaji knew just as Shinji did that Misato wasn't a morning person. But seeing his love incasing another man in her embrace, Kaji had to bite his tongue when he saw Shinji's weak wave. "You're spoiling her Shinji-kun. You can't let her keep doing this in the guise of helping you," Kaji wasn't going to let Shinji lie his way out of the situation. Pulling the cot Shinji had used closer to the bed, Kaji got in close to the boy so the spy camera couldn't hear, "I think its time we all had a little talk about the situation here."

He could feel Misato moving behind him, reacting to Kaji's words, and Shinji's body temperature rose. With her bigger size, Misato was anything but cold, and her heat caused Shinji to sweat. "Are you talking about here-here, or the base here?" Shinji questioned. On a small level, Shinji understood how Kaji felt. If he had seen Asuka holding Kaji like Misato was holding him, Shinji doubted he'd be as calm about it. _But Asuka is dead, and it's my fault._

"Quiet Shin-chan…I don't work till later," Misato murmured as she pulled the boy in closer. She wasn't going to lose him like she had lost Asuka. This time she'd protect him, she'd keep him safe. Asuka, the girl had been annoying and arrogant but at the same time very much like her. Now she was gone all because she had piloted. The girl deserved a better death than what she got, and even her death was hidden from others. "Cold in here," she sleep spoke and hugged Shinji tighter.

Groaning, Kaji rapped Misato on the head with his knuckle. "Misato its time to talk, and I'm sure Shinji's going to pop if you hold him any tighter," Kaji couldn't mask his anger. He loved the woman deeply, but her nature of using people was a part of her he hated. "You want to know the truth don't you Shinji-kun? Well I can't tell you alone," he pleaded for the timid boy to say something to Misato. Misato listened to Shinji.

Swallowing hard, "Misato-san I think its time for us to get moving," he could feel her arms relaxing. Misato hinted that she was hiding something from him, and Shinji suspected it was about Rei. Another of his friend's was dead, and while he hadn't done it himself he was to blame. Pulling Misato's arms away from his body, he crawled out of her grip. "Kaji-san is here, Misato," he looked pleadingly at the man to help him.

As the boy moved, Kaji pushed Misato's shoulder to pry her off of him. "Hun you really have to wake up…its time to talk like you said we should," he smiled into Misato's fluttering eyes. She was beautiful inside and out, even if she was annoying as hell at times. Giving Shinji a pat on the back as the teen freed himself, Kaji helped the waking woman to sit down. "Misato, I took care of everything we talked about so its time you keep your side of the deal," he was firm and unrelenting. To show Misato weakness would give her a way out.

Rubbing her eyes, Misato watched as Shinji climbed behind the sheet to Rei's side of the room. Her head fuzzy with fatigue, Misato's expression would have caused a normal person to rethink their plans, but Kaji was expecting it. "Can't this wait until after this whole Ayanami business is over?" Misato said sharply but quietly. Her boy was in a delicate position right now, and handing him a fucking clone wasn't going to solve anything. "He's finally getting better for God's sake!" she saw Shinji react to her words…she had been too loud.

"Shinji is fine Misato. I'm sure he's still hurting, but he's more resilient than you give him credit," Kaji was tempted to say more but stopped. Pissing Misato off now would only make her harder to deal with. And after he said what he planned to, Kaji suspected Misato might stay in the pilots' room a little longer than he preferred. "We have to do this now, or risk something happening and he's not ready," the old standby of Shinji's safety would work.

Falling like a house of cards, Misato sighed heavily and shook her head. "I hate it when you're right about things like this," she would have preferred Shinji never learn the truth of Nerv or her. Things were getting worse and worse around them, and now that they were actually thinking for themselves and not being lead they questioned Fuyutski's direction.

Adjusting his shirt, Shinji drew back the sheet and rejoined his mock-parents and sat by Kaji. "So what are we going to talk about?" Shinji's voice was flat and expressionless. Whenever he closed his eyes he saw Asuka's smiling face with dead glazed eyes. She piloted for him, and died for it. Her first sortie resulted in her death. The irony was so thick that Shinji suspected Asuka would have laughed at it. Had she stuck to her guns and not piloted she would still be alive.

Taking Shinji's hand in hers, Misato's grim expression was telling enough. "First off, Shinji-kun, we want to tell you our escape plan. If things get worse here, Kaji and I think it would be safer for us to leave." She glanced at her man, who nodded at her, and she took a deep breath. "Under the base is a series of secret rooms, some of them have paths up to the surface. For whatever reason Kozo never told us about them, but Kaji found them." Misato suspected in the past Kaji had used them to get around the base for whatever spy game he had played.

Hearing Misato stalling, Kaji piped in. "I've been smuggling small bits of food and ammunition into one of the biggest rooms," Kaji suppressed the shudder of seeing Lilith on her cross. "If things get bad, like those things get in or open rebellion against us occurs, we want you to get to your father's office. An elevator in that room will lead you down to safety and we'll meet you there." Kaji half suspected Misato wouldn't let the boy out of her sight for a long time so it was likely a moot point.

Against his better judgment, Shinji found he had questions for the two and he voiced them. "Why are you worried about this? Can we bring Ayanami with us?" he saw Misato wince and it confirmed his suspicions about his quiet friend's condition. "We can't, can we?" he asked only to see Misato's head quiver and her hand shakily pull away from him.

"You're far sneakier than Asuka ever gave you credit," Kaji actually found himself laughing for the first time in days. The boy had pieced together enough speculation and half information to make a guess about his friend. Then all he had to do was lay a carefully worded question and Misato broke. "No, Shinji-kun, Ayanami can't come with us. Misato and I were debating on telling you the truth about her…but I'm guessing you already half suspect it," Misato was shaking her head fiercely but her voice was lost.

The cold feeling in his stomach grew, but Shinji didn't run from it. Asuka was right, they were all damned, and it was his punishment to see all he cared for die. "Ayanami is dead…whatever killed Asuka killed her too," a fact Shinji hated was that neither Kaji nor Misato would actually tell him HOW Asuka died. "You don't want the base to know I'm the only pilot so you're saying she's sick," he hated how his voice broke, how close he was to tears again.

Kaji felt horrid for ruining what little light was left in Shinji's life, but the boy had the right to know the truth. And as he felt Misato mutely screaming at him to shut up, let Shinji believe Ayanami was gone, Kaji continued. "That is partially true. She is dead…but there is more than one of her," he wasn't surprised when Shinji gazed up at him questioningly. "Ayanami is a clone. She was…is a human/angel hybrid, and Nerv has a vat full of her," Kaji wouldn't mention who provided the human DNA.

His hand covered his mouth as he felt bile moving up his esophagus. The girl he had at one time had a crush on wasn't human, she wasn't even a singular entity! And again, against every fiber of his being trying to stop him, Shinji's mouth opened again. "How did they die?"

Putting her hand up, Misato silenced Kaji, "First let me answer your other question, why we're planning on leaving. If you still want to know what happened after that I'll tell you." She was stalling and praying that Shinji would change his mind. "When things first started going bad, most of us were in shock. In that distress we blindly turned to your father and Kozo to lead us. After your father died we turned solely to Fuyutski." Misato gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. Had she been smarter or better prepared she'd have questioned Kozo more and a lot of the problems they faced might not have happened.

"The crazy bastard instilled his little rules that we all had to agree to," Kaji picked up. "Brown sector, turning away refugees, and his secret police were all his ideas. Before we knew what was going on we were killing potential solutions for our problems. But now he has his goons so well hidden, that we'd be killed before we could say anything." It wasn't as if they were short on space, and yet Kozo turned away man and woman alike. The bastard killed people that could have been used for more productive ends. "We were blind little lambs following the first voice we heard because we were afraid of making choices. Well we're paying for it now, and Misato and I don't want to be here when the shit hits the fan."

Misato hated that word, brown, it was a symbol of her failure. She should have questioned it, should have stood against it, but she was happy just to have the decision made for her. "That's the short of it, Shinji-kun. So did you still want to know the truth about the rest?" For a moment she thought he was going to say no, or shake his head. He nodded and she sucked in her breath, "I really wish you didn't, Shinji, I really do."

Knowing Misato could never say it, Kaji took the mantle of telling Shinji and the likely hatred that would come with it. "Ayanami turned into one of those things. Ritsuko is looking into why, and Ayanami attacked Asuka in the changing room," Kaji felt like spitting after saying Ritsuko's name. The bitch had the gall to deny him access to Asuka's body. And he had the sneaking suspicion why, and if true he'd kill her.

"So it was my fault. She piloted so we could stay together, but because of that she died," Shinji's voice was as empty as he felt. "Asuka told me…said Fuyutski-san threatened to separate us if she didn't pilot. It's all my fault," he crumbled and almost instantly felt Misato's arms wrapping around him. It sickened him how much he was relying on Misato, but at the moment he didn't care. "If I made Akagi-san make me the pilot that day…or didn't run off to get her food…its all my fault."

Rocking back and forth with the boy in her arms, Misato nodded towards the door. It was time for Kaji to leave. "It was just bad timing Shinji-kun. You couldn't have known, and you couldn't have made Ritsuko change her mind anyway," Misato cooed as she felt Shinji shivering next to her.

X-X

Locking the door to his slave's room, Kozo pulled his zipper up and pulled out his walkie-talkie. "Akagi-kun, you've been trying to get a hold of me?" the old man had taken to himself for the last few days during which Ritsuko tried contacting him several times. Staying hidden in Terminal Dogma with the own version of Yui, and watching the sorry sacks of humanity scurrying around like rats he had turned a deaf ear to her calls. "I've been trying to contact several secret agencies, so you'll have to forgive my absence," he lied without any real care.

In her lab, locked in a room without windows, Ritsuko feverously worked over the detained body of Asuka. She had almost given up on Fuyutski being alive, thinking maybe he had a heart attack or killed himself as well. Grabbing the device from her pocket she replied, "Sir! I have terrible news. Both Asuka and Ayanami have been killed since you chose to sequester yourself from us."

Heading to the elevator to take him back to the base proper, Kozo stopped and started laughing. "I guess I put to much stock in Soryu's importance," he chuckled as he entered the code to the lift. "Had I known she'd die so quickly I wouldn't have tried so hard to get her to pilot again," he shook his head. He had such hopes for getting the scenario back on track, and now he was permanently down a pilot. "Well get another clone from the tank, and I don't see a permanent problem," he ended. Maybe they could activate another clone and have two running around. The little rats wouldn't dare question it, hell they'd likely not even see the girls.

Drawing the sheet off of Ayanami's broken body, Ritsuko let out a hiss. "I'm not sure that is a good idea. I don't know the full reason why, but Ayanami turned into one of those abominations. What if all the clones have that susceptibility?" she gasped. Grabbing her scalpel, Ritsuko sliced into the body's abdomen. "We could lose Ikari-kun next time," though Ritsuko didn't care about the boy personally, she recognized that the Angel threat wasn't gone.

Having just spent three hours fucking one, Kozo didn't have Ritsuko's fear of Ayanami. "Regardless, you will have the clone activated shortly. I'll ready the room for you. In the mean time, I suggest you find out as much as you can about her little…dalliance." Changing course the aged mastermind headed towards the collection of clones.

"Why don't we wait until I actually find out what caused it? We know she was sick, but that doesn't explain how she could have turned so fast," she cradled the walkie-talkie between her shoulder and ear as she pulled out Rei's stomach as it was one of the few places she hadn't examined yet. "And with some of the discoveries I made while watching Asuka turn have made me question a lot of what we thought we knew," she gagged on the smell of the decomposing bodies.

Heading towards the room of the dummy plug's core, Kozo scoffed. "Akagi, I don't care what you think of the matter. You will follow orders." He had enough dirt on Ritsuko and her assorted affairs that the dumb blond was under his thumb. "Now you will do what I tell you, or I'll insure you commit suicide as I insured Gendo did," Kozo's tone never changed. He had shot Gendo personally, but he'd be apt to have one of his men kill Ritsuko. They were getting bored with the clone so they'd likely take the doctor for a while before ending her life.

Gendo had been a wonderful pawn, but the sad excuse for a man wavered. When Kozo heard Gendo planning to abandon the scenario, to give up on Yui's dream, he had to get rid of Yui's husband. The fool had even wanted to open the base up to outsiders! Let the rubes of society in and use HIS base just to save their sorry lives. Nobody would get in that wasn't his to control or useful towards Yui's master plan. He hadn't followed her masterfully laid out scenario only to have it fall apart because of the walking dead, or her husband's sudden zeal for humanity.

Standing outside the fortified metallic blast doors to the dummy plug, "Do we have an understanding Akagi? Get the next Rei ready for release as soon as you finish whatever grotesquery you have going on," he loved how easy that woman was to manipulate. She put to much stock in herself and her reputation, and that gave him all the leverage he needed.

"Yes, sir," Ritsuko was stunned but not fully surprised at Kozo's admission. Ritsuko knew Gendo was too stubborn to actually end his own life, but that Kozo was behind it was the kicker. Dropping the walkie-talkie back in her pocket, Ritsuko continued to examine Rei's stomach. "LCL…she has trace amounts of LCL in her stomach…maybe it reacted to her DNA!" Ritsuko pounded her fist on the flat of her other palm. It was so painfully obvious she wondered how it took her so long to find it!

With the virus airborne, everybody had it in their system. But with Rei, the girl's mixed DNA combined with the LCL created a volatile mixture! It facilitated Rei's blood to assimilate the virus and complete the change faster and without the need to even die before hand.

"But if it's the LCL that caused it…oh my god," Ritsuko's eyes went wide as she realized she forgot something very important.

The tank was full of LCL and the cycling system would have invariably introduced the virus the clones!

"OH MY GOD!" Maya screamed as she shut the door behind her. She had come in to help Ritsuko as planned, but when she didn't find the doctor in the lab proper went into the back rooms. Finding the pilots dead, one with a crushed skull and the other viciously tearing at its restraints that held it to the table, Maya lost it. "What happened here?!" Maya exclaimed as she pressed herself against the door.

Spinning around fast, Ritsuko winced when she saw Maya's frantic expression. "Maya, I told you not to come back here didn't I?" The timid girl had been so good at following orders up until now. Now that she had to move fast to deal with a potentially devastating situation, Maya just had to discover something she shouldn't. "What happened here is unfortunate, but you can't tell anybody," Ritsuko was painfully aware of the fact she was hiding the scalpel as she neared the woman. She had precious little time to inspect the tank less something that couldn't be stopped be awoken, so she didn't time to waste on Maya.

Shaking her head so hard it hurt, Maya grabbed the door handle, flung it open, and rushed out. "B-but they're dead! And you've experimenting on them!" Maya has seen Ritsuko do some very questionable things in the past few weeks, but never did it reach the levels of disgust as it did now. _She knew those poor girls! And she's playing with them like some horrid experiment! _Maya's body moved with a fluidity that shocked her. "I have to tell somebody. We have the right to know this!"

Rushing after Maya, Ritsuko grabbed the woman's shoulder and slammed her against the wall. "Maya! Calm down! You're hysterical and not thinking straight. If you tell people about this it would do nothing but cause mass panic!" And Ritsuko couldn't lose the star pupil in her collection to Kaji's failed aspirations of being a father. Asuka might very well be the doorway to finally cracking just what the creatures were! "Don't be stupid, Maya, don't do something stupid," Ritsuko's fingers deftly pushed the blade of the scalpel out and into a striking position.

Violently shoving Ritsuko away from her, Maya's eyes, big and horrified, rolled around in her head. "NO! No more secrets! No more lies! Every day you or somebody on that damn board of directors lie to us about things here! We have a right to…"

A quick and skilled flick of the wrist and Ritsuko silenced the promising woman forever.

Clutching at her slashed throat as her life's blood poured through the large putrid smile Ritsuko cut into her, Maya found herself thinking back to all the movies she'd watched before the world turned to shit. Something of a movie buff when such things mattered, Maya had loved watching all sorts of films and picturing herself in the staring role. Whenever a scene like this played out, she'd ask herself 'what would I do if I knew I was going to die'?

Rushing past the doctor, who appeared remorseful but determined, Maya lashed out with her free hand and sent the doctor to the ground. Her head getting light and dizzy as her brain starved for oxygen, Maya ran to the first fire alarm she found and pulled down on the lever. Immediately sirens started screaming inside the base, and as Maya fell over, her vision going dark, she just prayed somebody would come in to see what happened before Ritsuko covered it up.

And as Ritsuko got to her feet frantically looking at the door to her lab and the glassy eyed corpse, Kozo was opening the door to the room that contained the clones only to have a small rush of LCL greet him as the door opened. Something had broken the tank open and flooded the room.

X-X

Literally caught with his pants down, Makoto hadn't been expecting the siren to go off at all. Having finally got the nerve up to ask Miaka out, Makoto had been shocked to learn the girl was thinking of asking him out as well. One thing led to another, and he found himself sleeping with her. With Shigeru slowly going deeper and deeper off the deep end with each day that siren went silent, Makoto was filled with a mixture of remorse and gratitude now that it finally had.

"Sorry, Mi-chan I have to go check on the system, talk to you later," he called out hurriedly and kissed her cheek as he dressed. The alarm should have had its practice run days ago, but for whatever reason the big shots didn't have the drill. Now, without his underwear, Makoto found himself running down corridors against the flow of traffic. Pressed against the wall as a flood of fellow survivors followed the rules and headed for the command bridge for the briefing, Makoto could only wonder if Shigeru was doing his part.

Getting to the control room, thankfully empty due to the alarm, Makoto snuck in the room. _This is crazy, he's going to get himself killed going out there for that girl of his. _Makoto was tempted to say the door didn't open, but had the sneaking suspicion he wouldn't live to regret backing out of the deal. _Now that I'm with Miaka, I'm getting nothing out of this deal…but he'll snap if I don't. _Pulling up the monitor that showed the door, he wasn't surprised to see Shigeru frantically waving his arms and pointing to it.

Punching in the override command to open the specified door, "I just hope this is worth it in the end." With the last key stroke entered, Makoto stood mollified as the screen turned from the standard 'operation complete' screen to the red 'error' screen. The door had opened but only partially and then jammed. "Oh fuck…oh fuck…OH FUCK!" he saw Shigeru weaseling his way through the two foot gap the jammed door offered and then he was gone.

"Fucking bastard is just going to leave it open!" Makoto screamed at the monitor. His heart rate skyrocketing, his body felt light and tingly. Sitting back down at the console, the tech tried to key in the shut command.

Error – Manual Override Required

"FUCK!" he screamed again. The door wasn't receiving commands, or was jammed from disuse. "Going to have to shut it myself," he unconsciously felt for his sidearm as he charged out of the room. He couldn't tell anybody about the door or they'd suspect him of opening it. And if that happened he might as well just shoot himself, because they'd exile him if he was caught.

The alarm finally stopped its clamoring, and thanks to the quick actions of his fellow inhabitants, he walked down empty halls. "I should have told him to shove this little rescue mission up his ass when he asked me," Makoto adjusted his glasses as the shifted from his hurried pace. _Hell I should have turned him in when he suggested it! Now I have to shut the damn door before anything gets in! _And with the Eva's not being deployed in the last few days, the gates were likely chock full of the fuckers.

"I could lie…say I was working the monitors and saw the door open…say it malfunctioned or something," he muttered between gasps of breath. Running in at a full sprint, the slightly flabby man reached the open gate in a time he would never have thought himself capable. His brain frantically worked through various lies and stories he could tell to cover his ass in case he got caught. Pulling his gun out, he scanned the area around the frame, "Nothing there…thank God."

Sliding his weapon back in the holster, Makoto grabbed the handle to the door and pulled. It refused to so much as budge. "Tiny ass fucking handle," he complained as he tried to get a better hold on it. Taking a moment to look out the door, it provided him a beautiful scene of the forested area around the base. The sun was shining and a stray bird sang a lovely tune, and it filled him with such dread that he almost wet himself. "It's to quiet out there, maybe they're following him," he loathed how that made him feel better.

Try and try again to move the stubborn door but nothing happened, and a sinking suspicion was tumbling in on what he'd have to do. The outside portion of the door would allow him a much better grip and leverage. But he'd have to close it from the outside and walk around the base to get back in. "I just can't leave it open though," he was near hysterical as his fingers brushed up against the flat edge of the door.

Taking several renegade steps outside, the sun warming his skin almost instantly, his hand lingered over his gun. "Nothing is worth this mess," he gritted his teeth and braced himself against the door. A dead girlfriend was going to get Shigeru expelled. "I'll just tell them he forced me to, threatened to kill me or something," he laughed at the idea of betraying Shigeru sounded perfect.

Slamming his full weight against the door, Makoto started crying when the door still refused to move. "MOVE YOU FUCKING CUNT MOVE!" he screamed. His body covered in the perspiration generated in trying to shut the entrance, his body slumped over in exhaustion. "I'm going to fucking kill him for this," he swore. While he was frantically trying to shut the door, Shigeru was likely off banging that girl of his at whatever place she was hiding at if she was still alive.

Reapplying his hands to the sliding doors end, Makoto didn't hear as a trio approached from behind. Their shuffling feet masked by a gentle breeze and the fresh grass that had gone untended. As the man frantically pushed the jammed door, swearing and panting at the inanimate object for not listening to him, they reached out for him and pulled him away from the open door.

"OH fuck! FUCK ME! NO!" Makoto cried as he pulled his gun out of the holster. Firing once he freed it, his bullet slammed ineffectively against one of the creature's chest. The man he hit didn't even flinch as it continued to reach and claw at the fallen man. "HELP ME!" were the last words to escape his lips as what used to be a thirty year old woman took a bite out of his throat. Firing one last shot, the woman's head popped as the bullet tore through her skull.

Nobody heard the shot, nobody saw the door open, because they were all busy listening to Ritsuko explain why she called them all to assembly.

X-X

His back to a wall, Shigeru continued to make his way to the gas station Momiji was hiding at. Four of those things had died as he made his way from the GeoFront to Tokyo-3 proper, but it wasn't a concern. With the amount of ammunition he had stockpiled in his bag, he'd go a long way before running out.

It took some effort to stop thinking about the broken door, but Shigeru had confidence Makoto would work something out. The man was clever to no end, and Shigeru had to give credit where it was due. "Hold on Baby, I'm almost there," he steadied his rifle and fired at a shambling monstrosity as it cleared a car.

Moving from car to car, Shigeru did his best to hear all around him. The collective moaning was almost enough to drive him insane, if he wasn't already. Finding the gas station, one he had stopped in a few times for instant meals for supper, he crawled the rest of the way on his belly to the door.

A shut door and one of those things, a teenage boy before the change, stood between him and his joyous reunion. Firing in the small confines of the main room was deafening, but the one armed teenager went down without noticing Shigeru's approach. "Momiji open the door it's me! Open up Baby I've come to get you just like I promised!"

Banging his fists against the door that separated the sales floor from the manager's office, Shigeru's throat was dry and scratch. Licking his lips, "Baby open the door!" Several more savage pounds later, the door creaked open slowly. Pushing the door open with the barrel of his gun, he tried turning on the lights but the power was out. "I missed you so much!" he cried out as he saw a woman standing in the room.

Dropping his gun he ran to her, his vision of his girlfriend. The creature he took into his arms was in fact female, but everything else about her was wrong. Wrong hair color, wrong size, wrong ethnicity, and it was dead. But to Shigeru's broken mind it was his beautiful and caring girlfriend.

And the kiss he thought she was giving him was her teeth sinking into the soft flesh of his face. As the creature toppled him over to the ground, his mind finally snapped out of the delusion long enough to let him scream in horror before he joined the ranks of the walking dead.

X-X

Author's notes

Enter endgame

Once things get moving they move fast. Easy to see how quickly things fall apart once something gets set into motion. I didn't want this to feel to rushed, but then again I didn't want it stagnating in drama. Set the stage and let the actors play the scenes.

Hope you're not to upset with the pace.

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


	8. Chapter 8

Standard Disclaimer

Well this isn't good…my word processor is acting up! Lets hope it was a one time event. Oh and I got two kittens on a trial basis. Going to be a strange week.

X-X

The End is the Beginning

Chapter – 8

Keeping Shinji in tow, Misato headed straight to Ritsuko's office after the alarms were silenced. "I can't believe she'd do something like this! The base is already on edge and she's calling spontaneous fear checks!" Her head was abuzz with pent up frustration and anxiety. Shinji had hardly said a word since the news of Rei and Asuka's true demise and that worried her. Offering him a weak smile, "You sure you're feeling alright?"

No, no he wasn't, and the fact that Misato was oblivious to her surroundings wasn't making things any better. Pointing down at Misato's feet, "L-look at what you're standing in!" How she could be so clueless to the shift in the cleanliness was beyond Shinji's frazzled mind to cope with.

Obliging the boy, happy just to hear him speak, Misato didn't notice the look of dread on his face. Finding her expensive footwear saturated by the pool of blood she was standing in, Misato quickly changed her priorities. Back peddling out of the gore, she pressed herself against a wall and tore off some of Ritsuko's notes in the process. "Oh Fuck! What the hell happened in here?" Her mind already creating an idea.

Before Misato or Shinji could say anything else, the door to the lab swung open and a pensive Ritsuko Akagi burst in. "What are you two doing in here?" she asked harshly. She had no time for more delays! The tank had to be examined and possibly destroyed before the clones could turn. The unfortunate business with Maya, and the lies she had to tell to cover it up had stalled her enough already. "I'm really busy so unless Shinji-kun here is close to death, I'd like to be alone," and then she noticed the remains of Maya she hadn't cleaned.

"What did you do in here?" Misato asked tersely. It was clear to Misato now what happened, but she didn't have all the details. The alarm was sounded, Ritsuko was behind it, and here was a pool of blood that would equate in one dead human. Misato's brain was far more powerful than people gave her credit for. _Ritsuko killed something or someone in this room and somehow triggered the alarm. She then had to cover it up. The question is who or what? _Slowly pushing herself away from the wall, Misato circled her friend, "Well?"

To lie or tell the truth was Ritsuko's biggest debate. Misato would know the need to keep Asuka and Rei's state unknown to the masses, but would she agree that murder was an acceptable recourse. "I…I killed Maya, Misato," Ritsuko took the gambit that truth was best. "She walked in on me while I was working on Ayanami," if Shinji didn't know she was dead he did now and she didn't care. "I panicked when she said she was going to tell the rest of the base. I…I overreacted and before thinking it through I killed her."

Shinji's face paled instantly and he put as much distance between the murderer and himself as possible. "You-you killed her because she knew the truth?" he gasped out. It was all as Asuka said it was. Nerv was an evil place, far more than he ever suspected. Positioning himself behind a chair, he watched as Misato and Ritsuko circled each other, both occasionally stepping into the pool.

Torn, Misato wanted to say something but knew Shinji wouldn't like to hear it. Ritsuko had acted stupidly, horribly stupid, but in light of the consequences it was not a damning mistake. "What did you do with her body? Is she one of those things now that you're playing with?" Misato jerked her thumb towards the room Ritsuko kept her playthings. "You did didn't you?" she asked when Ritsuko's head dropped low.

"She was fresher than Asuka was! I couldn't let a chance like that slip through my fingers!" Ritsuko's words sounded shallow even to her. Maya had been a friend, a confidant, and even a potential love interest. But in a moment of fear and idiocy she killed her and then strapped her to a table to watch. Not liking the disgusted look on Misato's face, "What? I know its bad, but at least I'm honest about it! What about you? Can you say the same?"

Stomping her foot, sending drops of blood everywhere, Misato shouted, "I never killed a friend in cold blood because of something stupid I was trying to HIDE! That's just so cold and inhuman!" The audacity of trying to justify murder and experimentation on the body was making Misato unstable. Grabbing Ritsuko by the collar, she pulled the woman in close, "You've fucking lost it! Kaji was right about you going over the edge!"

Used to Misato's theatrics, Ritsuko knew the easiest way to defuse her. Appearing unaffected by the rage and anger Misato was conveying, Ritsuko smirked. "You did something far worse," already Ritsuko could see understanding dawning on Misato's face. Ritsuko could see the panic and regret seeping into every pour and the unconscious begging for the doctor to stop. Ritsuko loved it "You killed that woman that brought Shinji in, and I think that's far worse. Killing the person that saved the boy you consider your son, that's cold too," every moment of anguish Misato portrayed made it worth it.

His breath stopped as he watched the interplay and heard Ritsuko's statement. "It-it's not true! Right Misato-san? You said you let-let her live!" She had told him point blank that she hadn't killed Kyoshi. She wouldn't have lied about that, she couldn't have! "Misato-san?" he hated that dead air, the deafening silence of her not speaking.

Acting before Misato could try and salvage things, Ritsuko shoved the woman away from her. "No, Shinji, she didn't save her. Misato ordered her death because its what the rules say we do with trouble makers. People who will cause more harm than good are killed. That woman, your father, and Maya were all killed to protect the greater good. Don't let her lie to you about it," Ritsuko's smile was vindictive and cruel.

"Shinji, I…I didn't have a choice!" Misato turned to her boy hoping to explain. But when she saw him, saw the abstract fear and betrayal etched into every feature of him her body refused to function. Reaching out for him, his broken expression burning into her soul, she wasn't shocked when he ran from her. "Shinji come back!" she called out after his retreating form. Moving to follow, she found a restraining hand around her wrist, "What the hell did you do that for!? Why say that to him!?"

Increasing the pressure of her hold, Ritsuko's just shook her head. "Maybe I did it to show you're no different than I am. Or maybe I think he deserves to know the truth about you. Or maybe just maybe I wanted you to know what it feels like to have your failures thrown in your face." Throwing Misato's hand to the side, Ritsuko pointed to the door, "Get out, I have work to finish."

Misato gave her friend one last look and then ran after Shinji. So many things she wanted to say, but her tongue remained dormant and fat inside her mouth unable to do anything. _I'll give her a piece of my mind next time I see her, but for now Shinji is all that matters. _But as she raced down the halls, hopefully in his direction, she had no way of knowing she'd never see her friend alive again.

X-X

His arm was on fire as the blood coursed down, but Kozo moved with purpose. "I didn't want to rush it like this…but I won't die before I've seen her dream come reality," he gasped out. A spike of pain lanced though his body forcing him to stop. Leaning against the wall, leaving a crimson smear behind, Kozo could hear those accursed things banging on the door seeking not only freedom but also his life.

It was a stroke of luck that when he opened the door to the core room that only one had initially saw him. He had been bewildered by the flood of LCL that he hadn't noticed one of the pale freaks standing by the door. It wasn't moving, hell he doubted it was breathing, but it was watching. And when it saw him it pounced.

Knocked to the floor, a naked clone dripping in LCL on top of him biting and clawing at his face, Kozo clumsily pulled his gun out while fending the thing off with his good arm. The shot was deflected by an AT Field and for a brief moment Kozo thought he was going to die.

Rearing back a moment, the clone dove in and savagely bit into the old man's arm. Teeth sinking into the bone, it pulled back with a snap as the warm flesh flooded her throat. Chomping her first morsel loudly, she never got the chance to get a second as a foot to her chest sent her flying back into the room with the others.

With speed he thought his old body incapable of, Kozo leaped to his feet and sealed the door before the creature could regain its footing or another could move. But he heard them, dead God he heard them. Unlike the other slow and stupid things, the spare clones were snarling and yowling like a cat as the beat themselves against the door. He thought they were trapped, that he was safe. Then the door started to buckle and bend as they pounded against it with their angelic infused bodies.

As any smart man would do, he ran from them.

Going to Gendo's old office in terminal dogma, Kozo grabbed the case marked Adam, and made his way back to his slave. "I'll fucking end this now. It's early yet, but it shouldn't make that big of deal," he didn't have much time left anyway. With the way his body was losing blood, and his heart was starting to feel as if a needle was being driven into it, he gave himself precious little time.

Dropping the case, the metal on metal clang echoed in the long empty corridor, he pulled his key out with his good hand. The other, the one bitten by that damn bitch was hanging lifelessly at his side. Kicking the door open after it was unlocked, he stumbled into the room. "Hi Yui, I'm back earlier than expected," he joked to the clone. Pushing the case along with his foot, Kozo's vision started to fade. Clutching his heart, he cursed being old, "Going to have to cut this love affair short."

The forth incarnation of Ayanami Rei said and did nothing, she had died. Her body ravaged again and again by men who cared nothing for her, hadn't even given her an IV post to keep her feed. Her poor abused body simply gave out like a candle flame in a breeze. It was a brief and tragic life, but in the end peace.

Falling against the medical bed that the clone rested on, Kozo saw the lack of breathe. "Guess we forgot about certain things," his hand laid on her stomach. "No matter, if I make this quick I can still use you," he slapped the cold flesh joyfully. It didn't matter if the clone was alive or dead, the S2 organ would still react to Adam.

Getting down on his knees, Kozo input the codes by each lock and snapped the case open. "No…no no no no no…this isn't possible!" Kozo moaned as he gazed into the empty case. Adam was gone! Somebody had to have done something with it, and that ruined all of Kozo's plans! But who…who could have even KNOWN about Adam. "The only people that knew about it was Seele, Kaji, Gendo, and myself…and only Gendo and me had access…Gendo!"

The bastard had taken Adam for some purpose all his own! "Bastard! If I hadn't killed him already I would have done it again!" he screamed and fell over. In the fetal position, he hugged his legs and shook. "It's all over! All my work! Everything we tried to do is gone!" He would have no way of knowing what Gendo had done with Adam before his body gave out. Kozo would never know that in killing Gendo and burning the body, he had destroyed his own plans as the embryo burned. "What was it all for?" he asked aloud.

Eyes opening again, the forth Rei had no answer for the old man. Her lips pulled back to show her gleaming white teeth as she quietly sat up. Sliding off the bed, she stalked closer to the sobbing man on the ground. Before she could do anything however, several more of her recently liberated sisters gingerly stepped into the room, theirs arms and hands bleeding from breaking the door down.

Clutching the empty case of Adam to his chest, Kozo continued to cry as the weight of reality came crushing down on him. Everything he had done, his life's work, was ruined. Without Adam he couldn't bring about the change Yui wanted. He had failed her. And as the clones fell upon him, each grabbing an appendage they wanted to dine upon, they pulled. Yanked in every direction, all Kozo could do was scream as his limbs were torn off and feasted upon, ironically the clone he had used as his on personal sex slave ate the very thing he had used to violate her.

X-X

Gun dry firing, Kaji ejected the clip and slammed a fresh one in. "We should have left earlier, Shinji," he said to his support. Somehow those damn things had gotten into the base! How it happened he didn't know, let alone care now. Because in a moment of panic, somebody tried escaping out the front gate! Some scared idiot actually thought to leave from the front fucking door when they saw likely one or two of the things and now the whole damn place was overrun. "How are you doing on ammo?" he asked after firing another shot that took the creature Keiichi's girlfriend had become.

Patting his pockets, Shinji felt three more clips, "I've three more, Kaji." He wouldn't think about Misato or her treachery now, he didn't have the blessing of time. After running from Misato, he wandered the base in a daze. People around the base seemed panicked, but he didn't care. A small fraction of him wanted to die, to just give up and let oblivion take over him. But then he pictured Asuka, alive and in all her glory, make fun out of him for being a quitter. Then he heard the shot and saw one of those creatures fall dead not five feet from him, and Kaji's gun barrel was smoking.

"How close are we to my dad's office?" Shinji asked as he fired two shots at a shambling monstrosity. The first went wild, but the second scored a hit between the eyes and one of his ex-guards was down. He was going to live for Asuka's sake, to carry her memory on in his heart for as long as he could. "Do you think Misato-san is already there?"

Holding up his hand, Kaji signaled Shinji to stop. Coming up to a corner, Kaji took a quick peek around the corner and saw it was open, "Clear. And I don't know, but I sure as shit hope she is." Random gunfire was heard all around them as other survivors fought the intruders and their old friends. "Why isn't she with you now anyway? With the way she's been lately I would have thought you'd need to cut her off of you," he didn't try to sound harsh but it still came out that way.

Clicking the safety back on, Shinji holstered the gun Kaji gave him. "We went to talk to Ritsuko about why she called a meeting, but found a big pool of blood in her office." He swallowed hard as the memories forced their way back into his mind. "Misato accused Akagi-san of killing somebody, and she was right. Akagi-san killed Maya because she found out about Asuka and Ayanami. Then Akagi-san said that Misato had Kyoshi killed," his voice faulted and then went silent.

"You ran from her then, didn't you?" Kaji asked already knowing the answer. "Shit, Shinji, when it rains it pours. But don't be too hard on Misato…she's been hard enough on herself for that," he loaded the chamber of his sidearm and mounted the stairs up to Gendo's office. Everything had just perfectly aligned itself to fuck them over the most, it seemed to the ex-spy. After countless nights of Misato berating herself over that damn nurse, Kaji was glad the truth was in the open. "Can you do that for me?" he pleaded.

If he hadn't secretly suspected Misato was lying to him, Shinji would have told Kaji no right then and there. But deep in his soul, Shinji had always doubted Misato was telling him the truth. He lied to himself, blinded by his affection for Misato to ever think she could do wrong, but knew deep down the truth. "She did what she had to do. I don't like it, it hurts knowing she killed the woman that saved my life. But better Kyoshi die painlessly than be turned into one of those things," he surmised as he followed close behind.

"You're a brave kid, Shinji, don't let anybody else tell you otherwise," Kaji meant every word. Firing another shot from his elevated position, Kaji winged one of the ex-techs that had sprung up. "Check the door and head in, password to the elevator is 1981," Kaji would keep point for as long as possible.

Opening the door, Shinji was mixed on his reaction. Misato was already at the elevator with it open, but he wasn't overjoyed as usual to see her. "No need Kaji-san, Misato has it ready for us," he tapped the man on the back. "Lets get moving," he rushed in and after a moment of hesitation embraced Misato. His act of forgiveness must have shocked the woman as for a brief moment all she did was stand still, a statue of the greatest likeness. Then she nearly crushed him as she returned his hug and the trio got into the elevator.

X-X

The room was dark, a makeshift barrier of beds and cabinets lodged against the door, and Ritsuko huddled in the corner. Her body was covered in blood and her clothing in tatters, but at least she was able to kill the fucking bastard that came after her. She had no idea at first that the base had been compromised, but she knew enough to be afraid when a burly man that answered only to Kozo kicked the door to her lab in.

It was quickly made evident what he wanted as he slapped her and threw her to the ground. His big calloused hands grouping and pawing at her through her coat, and he said that before those things ate him he wanted to fuck her. He never got the chance. While he was working to pull his pants down, Ritsuko was able to grab a small metal trashcan and proceeded to bash it against the man's head. At first it did nothing but stun him and blur his vision, but it was enough for her to escape from underneath him.

Having no gun in her lab, Ritsuko had to improvise as she took an empty syringe and stabbed the man in the temple and pushed the stopper in. He gasped and punched her in the face hard enough to break her nose, but he died soon after. Calling Fuyutski on the walkie-talkie was fruitless as he never answered. Several shots later, and Ritsuko found that retiring to her inner lab was a better option than waiting for some other terrified man to try his way with her.

"Great now I'm trapped in a room with two of those damn things in the dark," Ritsuko moaned as she crawled on her hands and knees across the floor. She had no food in her lab, no weapons, and the only person she could hope for help she'd just alienated and pissed off. "Not too good on thinking ahead was I," she joked as she pulled a cigarette from the pack in her coats inner pocket. Flicking her lighter she held it to the last of her smokes to light it and stopped.

Asuka's bed was empty.

Her head dropped and her lit cigarette fell to the ground. It was another perfect day in the life of Ritsuko Akagi. "Don't panic, she's just all the other normal ones," Ritsuko rationalized as she got up on her feet. Holding the small lighter in front of her, she scanned around for any signs of movement. "I must have not tied her down hard enough after the last series of tests…damn it!" she'd have to kill the girl this time. All she needed was one of her drills and she'd put the German down.

Groping around for her tools, she saw a flash of red and smiled. "Oh Asuka, I have something that I've been dieing to give you for ages," Ritsuko practically sang hoping to get the creature to come to her. Killing Asuka, even this version of her, was almost therapeutic to Ritsuko after all the aggravation Asuka had given her.

Slowly approaching the girl from behind, Ritsuko gave the drill a little test, and it fired up just like magic. "You've deserved this for age's kid," she announced as she jabbed at Asuka's skull and missed. The thing had finally noticed her and turned around just in time to avoid getting skewered. "Stand still and take your medicine please," she said as she took another dive and lanced Asuka's shoulder, not that the girl even flinched at the penetration.

Taking several steps back as Asuka started closing in with her mouth open and hands out stretched, Ritsuko bounced off a table. "I will not have you…" Ritsuko's eyes went wide as she felt a pair of hands grabbing her from behind and pulling her down. The lighter flew from her hand as Maya tugged on her collar and spilled her over the table with her one free hand.

Elbowing Maya in the face, Ritsuko repelled herself away from the table as if it was on fire. "Holy fuck I forgot about you," Ritsuko spun around to face where she thought Maya's table was. In the dark it all looked the same, especially after flinging herself away and loosing her balance. "Oh shit…Asuka…" Ritsuko felt her innards start to loosen and chill. Her bladder went as she felt the first brush of fingers against her side, she jabbed the drill into open air, having suspected Asuka but actually she had gotten close to Maya again. "You're not going to get me…I won't be like you two…" Ritsuko felt hot tears cascading down her cheeks as she knew what she was going to do.

Never being a religious person, Ritsuko thought it was comical as she did the sign of the cross moments before pressed the drill bit to her own head. "See you soon mom," she quipped as she pulled the trigger on the drill, felt one moment of agonizing pain, and then nothing.

Asuka enjoyed the meal none-the-less.

X-X

They expected empty corridors and a straight shot to their hidden shelter. What they got were more than a dozen clones of Ayanami Rei giggling and yowling as the feasted upon the body of Kozo Fuyutski. For a moment, for one gleaming moment they thought they'd be able to sneak past them while they ate and get free. They were wrong. One of the clones finished eating the arm she had taken, and saw the trio just after they passed the door and she sent off a snarling charge.

"RUN! RUN! RUN!" Kaji shouted as they changed from stealth to outright flight. Firing several shots at the quartet of blue haired killers, Kaji balked when he saw the bullets bounce off harmlessly from their AT Fields. Chucking the worthless sidearm at the horde that increased in number by two, he was stunned when one of the creatures took the blow to the face and fell backward.

Holding Shinji's hand, Misato yanked hard on it to keep Shinji from slowing, "Now's not the time for fucking playing with them Kaji!" She had seen him fire and then his little temper tantrum, but she wasn't amused. Her side was aching and her breath was hard to come by. "Sh-Shinji you need to run faster!" she gasped out.

Not athletic by nature, Shinji was almost at his ropes end as they rounded a corner only to see three more identical twins waiting. "T-that way!" he pointed to the left corridor which appeared clear. Firing several shots of his own, having not seen Kaji execute the same futile maneuver, his rounds were just as easily worthless. Stumbling as Misato yanked on him, Shinji pitched forward and almost fell.

Spotting a fire extinguisher on the wall, Kaji owed up to his fate. Grabbing the heavy red cylinder, "Misato, here!" he tossed her the badge to the deepest secret of Nerv. Turning around he watched as eight of the clones tumbled around the corner.

"Kaji what are you doing? Now isn't the time for heroics, we have to hurry!" Misato yelled and took a step back in his direction. She saw what he was going, what he was going to do, and she wasn't going to have part in it! No more death! It wasn't necessary, they were hurting but they could make the rest of the run to the safe room together!

Setting the blunt object on his shoulder, Kaji refused to look back. "Shinji isn't going to make it if you push him this hard. Hell you'll burst a gasket before much longer. I'll buy you two as much time as I can," he said and swung at the first clone to get in close enough. A wet snap and heavy clung echoed as he connected. "Hurry damn it! Don't let me do this in vein," he hollered as he readied for the next.

"No, Kaji, no!" Misato took another step towards him only to have Shinji pull on her arm. "Shinji!? You can't just leave him here like this…I'm not that bad…you're not…we CAN'T do this!" she screamed in defiance. To much had been lost already, she couldn't take anymore.

Pulling on her arm harder, Shinji did the only thing he could, "He's doing this because he loves you Misato. Just like Asuka piloted for me. Don't…don't spoil it, and live on for him," he heard another heavy metallic clunk, turned and started running without Misato knowing she'd either come or he'd be dead soon enough that it wouldn't matter. _I don't want to see her die…so if she chooses to stay…_

But she didn't stay. After on last painful look at the man she loved, "I love you Kaji," she whimpered and then joined Shinji in the longest sprint of her life. Blow after blow she heard echo as Kaji grunted and screamed at the attackers. Killing none, but stopping them long enough.

And then nothing.

Getting to the giant doors, easily big enough for an Eva to walk through standing tall, Misato opened the small door to the side and the two walked in. She felt dead inside, Kaji was gone, Asuka was gone, and she had no idea what happened to Ritsuko. "Lock the door Shinji…lock the fucking door," she said and collapsed on the ground.

Tearing his eyes away from the horrid thing on the gigantic red cross, Shinji did as Misato requested and locked the only entry to the room. Giving the heaping piles of food and ammo a cursory glance, Shinji curled up next to Misato on the ground and held her lightly as she wept. Shortly after she fell asleep, Shinji heard the first of the clones outside the door start screaming and pounding. They'd not break in that door, but they'd know of them and hear them trying.

X-X

A full week of staring at the white monstrosity and listening to the clones futilely bang on the door trying to get it was leaving its mark on the pair. With no want for food, and finding LCL could be drunk, their only real need was entertainment as the boredom was excruciating.

The first few days were spent organizing the supplies Kaji had swindled in for them. It was mostly field rations, ammo for their handguns, and basic survival supplies. Aside from that quick chore the duo spent the majority of their time trying to find the exit Kaji insisted was in the room so that they could escape. Unfortunately they couldn't find a thing.

After Misato gave up on finding an escape, the closest thing was to swim through the LCL pumping tubes and pray nothing would kill them, Misato took to shooting at the creature on the cross. It was like hitting a pincushion as it never was hurt and just looked to bounce in and then out.

Shinji refused to give up on looking for an exit and covered every conceivable inch of the room hoping to find something, anything, that could lead them away from the incessant sound of the clones.

Both were quiet for the first day, neither wanting to comment on the death of Kaji, or anything that transpired in the base before the events that lead to their incarceration. But slowly they started talking again, just the facts at the start, but increasing at a snails pace to light banter as the wounds in their hearts scabbed over and rescinded into their minds.

"I owe you an apology," Misato announced as she pulled herself out of the sea of LCL and gave her body a good shake like a dog would. She thought it was cute that Shinji was still so modest about her nudity. He had seen a woman naked before, hell he had sex with Asuka, but he was still so shy about seeing her. Once her top was dry enough she put her clothing back on.

To alleviate her boredom, Misato took to swimming in the LCL. At first she contemplated drowning herself, after a particularly nasty nightmare about Kaji. She felt stupid after ten minutes of staying under she realized that the LCL was just as good as oxygen. That had been a funny conversation with Shinji to explain that she wasn't really suicidal.

After hearing Misato zip up her pants, Shinji turned to her, "What do you mean?" Defeated at being unable to find an exit, Shinji took to making domino models with the bullet casings. It was far betting than just watching Misato swim or staring at the monster.

Spitting out a stray amount of LCL she pointed to the LCL, "When you first came to us and piloted, I told you to man up about that shit." Sitting down next to Shinji, she couldn't stand how helpless she felt. She swore she'd protect him, and this was where it lead them. Trapped in a cavernous room with an angel and a legion of things outside wanting to eat them. "Nobody should have to breath that snot in and not complain, oh and I guess you were right about it smelling like blood," she joked lamely.

"Well it is blood, and I don't see how you can swim in it after seeing that," he quipped back with a small smile. Everything was so strange now, but at least with Misato he could still smile on occasion. After his dreams of Asuka she would hold him and make him feel comfortable. He did the same when she had an off moment, but both could feel something changing.

They wanted it to end but neither had the courage to say anything. Sure they loved each other like family, but that alone couldn't overcome the sense of loss they both felt. Holding one another couldn't make the things outside stop crying and banging on the door. No matter how much they hunted for that damn exit they would never find it. Both of them knew it, they were going to die in that room sooner or later.

Laying back and gazing up and the cave ceiling, Misato chuckled. "It beats doing nothing, and I always did want to go scuba diving, and this is the next best thing. I could teach you if you wanted, and you have no fear of drowning," she slapped his back. Damn tears were coming back again and she hoped her voice didn't indicate it. It was just so hard to keep on going knowing they were doomed. An angel could attack, those things could get in, or hell they could stave unless that white thing didn't mind being eaten.

Something was going to do them in, and Misato felt it was her fault.

For twenty minutes the pair sat in silence, listening to the waves of LCL and the droning of the clones. Misato started to talk three times but stopped short each time, but finally on the forth try said what she wanted."Shinji…I'm going to ask you something and say something to you. If you feel uncomfortable just forget I opened my stupid mouth," she was finally going to do it this time. She wasn't going to chicken out.

Almost sensing what she was going to do, Shinji was tempted to tell her to wait but didn't. "Go ahead Misato, fire away," people could sense their death approaching at times and he felt Death's shroud falling.

Sitting up, Misato scooted behind Shinji and wrapped her arms and legs around him lightly. "I love you, Shinji. And I know you love me. You're the child I always wanted, and this is no life for a child of mine," she sniffed hard as her emotions threatened to overcome her again. "I-I- I'm going to make love to you, not because I'm 'in love' with you, but because it's the only way I know to convey just how strongly I care for you. Then…after we've finished…I'm going to end this."

Shinji just nodded and understood completely. In his short time with Asuka, he understood that sex was more than just procreation or entertainment. It was opening yourself up to the other person, it was connecting to them on a level that transcended words. "I love you, Misato," he felt his own tears as he knew that all the pain was going to be over.

And there in sight of Lilith, Misato and Shinji became one for the first and only time. When they met they meant nothing to one another, but over time they forged a bond that nothing could break. Betrayal, anger, and other people couldn't shatter what had been created between them. Misato loved Kaji, and Shinji loved Asuka, but they did connect with one another on some way that transcended romantic love.

And with Shinji still inside her, Misato fixed his hair and kissed his cheek, "I'll be coming right after you, Baby." She fired and he fell on her. Kissing him one more time, "I'm sorry Baby, but now we can know the peace we deserve."

And she fired again…and there was silence

X-X

Yeah dark ending. But most zombie stories end this way, because lets face it…if the zombie apocalypse happens there isn't going to be happy endings just good deaths.

Some of you might think the Misato/Shinji part at the end was 'rushed' or 'uncalled for' but I always thought that the true pair of Eva was Shinji/Misato. Not romantically, but something greater as they were essentially the same person.

Shinji chose to run from people and hide his feelings behind complacency.

Misato chose to run from people and hide behind her flighty appearance.

Anyway, it was a dark and depressing run, but I'm glad I took it with this story. With all the dumb happy and perfect timing of "What We' and "The Gift" its good to know I can write something that doesn't have humorous elements.

Thanks again for reading and know the next 'new' story will be more upbeat

Ja Mata

Zentrodie


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